Strengthening Your Relationship
In this chapter, we will address the issues that make living together more joyful and satisfying. To that end, we will delve into the mysteries of the microcosmic circuit, one of the most important energetic systems in your subtle field. After that, we will provide you and your family members with exercises that will enhance the flow of prana (chi) and jing (the essence of chi) through your microcosmic circuit. That in turn will enable you and your family members to share prana and jing effortlessly—so that you can experience greater pleasure, intimacy and joy with one another.
The Microcosmic Circuit
Both Taoists and Yogic adepts recognize the importance of the microcosmic circuit. They tell us that it plays an essential part in two important activities. It regulates the flow of chi (prana) and jing through your subtle energy field. And it maintains a healthy balance of polarity in both your subtle energy field and physical-material body. Both influence your ability to share your feelings and emotions with your family members. In addition, when functioning healthfully, the microcosmic circuit protects your subtle field from intrusions of distorted energy.
We’ve learned that it’s most effective to include the three dantians and their neighboring cavities, the governor and conceptual meridians, as well as all the chakras in body space when working with the microcosmic circuit because each of these organs has an important function related to family relationships and personal well-being (see Figure 13: The Microcosmic Circuit).
The microcosmic circuit can regulate the flow of chi (prana) and jing through the subtle energy field because the perineum, where the first chakra is located, has a negative polarity, while the crown of the head, where the seventh chakra is located, has a positive polarity. By circulating chi and jing between these two poles, the microcosmic circuit increases their strength because the differential draws additional chi and jing from resource fields through the kandas into the microcosmic circuit. From the microcosmic circuit, both chi and jing are then circulated through the remaining organs of your subtle energy field, including the exceptional meridians (to learn more about them go to chapter — eight—), auric fields, and minor energy centers. Although there is great flexibility to the way the microcosmic circuit transmits chi and jing when it’s functioning healthfully, it’s the water cycle that will enhance family relationships the most.
The Water Cycle
Taoist texts tell us that the water cycle circulates chi and jing up the back of your body, through the governor meridian, and down the front of your body through the conceptual meridian. We’ve discovered that the movement of chi and jing in this way has a profound effect on family relationships for several reasons. It enhances intuition and relaxes the nerves along the spine which can have a significant effect on your ability to make life-affirming decisions. It integrates the functions of the three dantians and their subsidiary cavities including the kwas, midriff cavities, and armpit cavities. And it distributes chi and jing most readily to the chakras in body space as well as those above and below it.
In the body of this chapter, you will learn to enhance the functions of your microcosmic circuit. But before we can do that, it’s important for you to know more about its structure and function, especially the structure and function of the meridians that transmit chi and jing and serve as its boundaries.
Figure 13: The Microcosmic Circuit
Meridians
Structurally, meridians are streams of energy that connect the chakras, dantians, and minor energy centers to one another. Although functionally the meridians correspond to the veins and arteries of the circulatory system, which distribute blood and life-nurturing nutrients throughout the physical-material body, structurally they more closely resemble currents of water and/or air found in the earth’s oceans and atmosphere. Their flexible structure makes it possible for them to maintain the flow of energy with universal qualities and its essence, jing, within the microcosmic circuit at healthy levels. This in turn will keep back-front and up-down polarity in balance. You will learn more about jing and how it influences your well-being and family relationships in the next chapter.
Individually and collectively, meridians have two additional functions that bear directly on the health of your family relationships. They connect the organs of the human energy system together, which integrates the functions of your body, soul, and spirit. And they distribute energy to the auric fields and from there into the physical-material body, which will keep them filled with life-affirming energy and jing.
Although there are at least ten major meridians and eight exceptional meridians that transmit jing, as well as thousands of minor meridians in the subtle energy field, the governor and conceptual meridians have the most influence on family relationships. These two meridians connect the organs of the microcosmic circuit together, and they serve as its external boundaries.
Governor and Conceptual Meridians
The governor meridian is the most important masculine meridian in the human energy system. It originates at the perineum, at the base of the spine, and extends upward along the spine to the seventh chakra located at the crown of your head. The masculine poles of the seven traditional chakra gates are connected to it as well as the three dantians. In addition, the governor meridian has a functional connection to the remaining chakras in body space and the cavities that are located alongside the dantians.
The conceptual meridian is the most important feminine meridian in the human energy system. It originates at your brow and makes its way down the front surface of personal body space to a point just behind your sexual organs. The female poles of the seven traditional chakras are connected to it as well as the three dantians. The conceptual meridian has a functional connection to the remaining chakras in body space and the cavities that are located alongside the dantians.
In the following series of exercises, you will stimulate the microcosmic circuit in order to increase the amount of prana and jing flowing through it. By doing that, you will enhance the quantity of energy you can share with your family members. For best results, we’ve found that it’s best to do this in steps. The first step will be to enhance the flow of prana (chi) and jing through the main masculine meridian, the governor, and the male poles of the chakras connected to it. You can do this by performing the Governor Meridian Meditation.
In the Governor Meridian Meditation, you will enhance the flow of prana and jing up your back by activating the back of the seven traditional chakra gates. That will enhance your personal power as well as your stability, mental clarity, self-confidence, and your ability to feel and express your authentic feelings and emotions.
Exercise: The Governor Meridian Meditation
To begin the Governor Meridian Meditation, find a comfortable position with your back straight. Then close your eyes and breathe deeply through your nose for two to three minutes. Count backward from ten to one and from five to one. Then assert, “It’s my intent to go to my personal healing space.” Once you’ve experienced your personal healing space, bring your awareness to your body, soul, and spirit. Enjoy the process for five minutes. Then assert, “It’s my intent to bring my mental attention to the back of my first chakra gate at the base of my spine.” Once you’ve brought your mental attention to the back of your first chakra gate, breathe into it. That will activate the chakra further by bringing prana, which is entering your subtle energy field on each inhalation, to the back of the chakra gate. Continue to breathe into the back of the first chakra gate for two to three minutes while you enjoy the chakra’s enhanced vibration. Then breathe normally again and move your mental attention slowly upward until it reaches the back of your second chakra gate. Once it’s reached the back of the chakra gate, assert, “It’s my intent to bring my mental attention to the back of my second chakra gate.” Breathe into the back of the second chakra for two to three minutes while you enjoy the effects. Continue in the same way with the back of your third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh chakras.
Once you’ve activated the back of the seven traditional chakra gates, assert, “It’s my intent to center myself in my chakra fields on the level of my seven traditional chakras.” Take fifteen minutes to enjoy the experience. After fifteen minutes, count from one to five. When you reach the number five, open your eyes and bring yourself out of the meditation. Repeat the exercise regularly until you can freely share universal masculine energy with your partner and family members.
After Sebnem brought her up-down polarity into balance, we taught her how to perform the Governor Meridian Meditation. It had an immediate effect. It strengthened the universal masculine qualities that had been suppressed by her father’s projections—and it helped her to maintain a healthy balance of masculine and feminine energy in her subtle energy field. After practicing the meditation regularly for a month, she began to assert her feelings and emotions more freely and to take a more assertive role in the bedroom.
We taught the same meditation to Dennis in order to help him achieve a more balanced polarity. We didn’t want him to change his gender orientation. For that reason, we taught him to perform the Conceptual Meridian Meditation as well. By performing both exercises, he restored the balance of his up-down polarity to its natural state. In a short time, he felt more confident to express his natural gender identity and resist the judgment of other people.
Exercise: The Conceptual Meridian Meditation
In this meditation, you will enhance the flow of feminine energy through your conceptual meridian by activating the female poles of the chakra gates connected to it. By doing that, you will do several things that will enhance the health of your relationships. You will increase the amount of receptive (feminine) energy you have available by enhancing the flow of prana down the front of your body. And you will enhance your ability to share the life-affirming qualities associated with universal feminine energy.
To begin the meditation, find a comfortable position with your back straight. Then close your eyes and breathe deeply through your nose for two to three minutes. Count backward from ten to one and from five to one. Then assert, “It’s my intent to go to my personal healing space.” Once you’ve experienced your personal healing space, bring your awareness to your body, soul, and spirit. Enjoy the process for five minutes. Then assert, “It’s my intent to bring my mental attention to the front of my seventh chakra gate at the crown of my head.” Once your mental attention is focused on the gate, breathe into it. That will activate the chakra further by bringing prana entering your subtle energy field on each inhalation to the gate. Continue to breathe into the front of the seventh chakra gate for one to two minutes while you enjoy the chakra’s enhanced vibration. Then breathe normally again and move your mental attention downward along the meridian until it reaches the front of your sixth chakra gate by your brow. As soon as it has reached the chakra gate, assert, “It’s my intent to bring my mental attention to the front of my sixth chakra gate.” Breathe into the front of the sixth chakra gate for two to three minutes. Then continue in the same way with the front of your fifth, fourth, third, second, and first chakras.
Once you’ve activated the front of the seven traditional chakras, assert, “It’s my intent to center myself in my chakra fields on the level of my seven traditional chakras.” Take fifteen minutes to enjoy the experience. After fifteen minutes, count from one to five. When you reach the number five, open your eyes and bring yourself out of the meditation.
We recommend that you practice the meditation regularly until you can share universal feminine energy with your partner freely.
Exercise: The Microcosmic Circuit Meditation
We’ve taught the Microcosmic Circuit Meditation to many of the family members we worked with because it enhances a man’s receptivity and makes him more gentle and affectionate. And it empowers women and enhances their awareness of their inherent personal rights.
We made a special point of teaching this exercise to Wendy and Charlie so that they could create a healthy bond with Tim and provide him with the space he needed, on the subtle levels, to create a healthy identity.
Wendy and Charlie continued to perform the exercise for several weeks. And although we didn’t meet with them again, we did receive a Christmas card from them. In the card, they explained that they were all well and that their relationship with Tim had become one of their greatest joys.
In the Microcosmic Circuit Meditation, you will combine what you’ve learned in the previous two meditations. You will also “Close the Gate” by bringing the tip of your tongue behind your upper teeth. Closing the gate will enhance the flow of prana between your conceptual and governor meridians. That in turn will help ground you—which will make it easier for you to stay centered in your authentic mind for extended periods of time.
To begin the meditation, find a comfortable position with your back straight. Close your eyes and breathe deeply through your nose for two to three minutes. Then assert, “It’s my intent to go to my personal healing space.” Once you’ve experienced your personal healing space, bring your awareness to your body, soul, and spirit. Enjoy the process for five minutes. Then close the gate by bringing the tip of your tongue to the top of your mouth directly behind your teeth. Hold your tongue in that position and in words mentally assert, “It’s my intent to bring my mental attention to the back of my first chakra gate at the base of my spine.” Continue by breathing into the back of the first chakra gate for one to two minutes. Then breathe normally again and move your mental attention slowly upward until it reaches the back of your second chakra gate. Continue by asserting, “It’s my intent to bring my mental attention to the back of my second chakra gate.” Then breathe into the back of the second chakra for one to two minutes. Continue in the same way with the back of your third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh chakras.
After you’ve activated the masculine pole of your seven chakra gates, assert, “It’s my intent to bring my mental attention to the front of my seventh chakra gate at the crown of my head.” Continue by breathing into the chakra gate for one to two minutes. Then breathe normally again and move your mental attention slowly downward until you reach your brow where the feminine pole of the sixth chakra gate is located. Breathe into it for one to two minutes. Then continue in the same way until you’ve activated the feminine pole of all the seven traditional chakras.
Once you’ve activated the front of the seven traditional chakra gates, assert, “It’s my intent to center myself in my chakra fields on the level of my seven traditional chakras.” Take fifteen minutes more to enjoy the experience. After fifteen minutes, count from one to five. When you reach the number five, open your eyes and bring yourself out of the meditation. Repeat as needed.
After releasing negative core values and replacing them with core values that were life-affirming, we taught Simon and Irene to perform the Microcosmic Circuit Meditation. By performing the meditation for just over a month, Simon and Irene were able to share their feelings and the responsibilities of parenting more easily. Their success motivated them to continue—and, within another two months of practice, Simon no longer felt more entitled than other people, especially women, and Irene no longer resented the men in her life.
They were so enthusiastic with the changes they’d experienced that they chose to take the next step in the process by learning to release blockages in their kandas. These were blockages that had the potential to block the flow of prana entering their microcosmic circuit from their chakra fields.
Kandas and Prana
There are three kandas that influence the health of the microcosmic circuit. They are hubs that distribute energy from the chakra fields to the conceptual and governor meridians and from there throughout the subtle energy field. They are closely related to both the dantians and their six complementary cavities. The lower kanda is located directly behind the first chakra and is associated with the lower dantian. The middle kanda is located directly behind the fourth chakra and is associated with the middle dantian, and the upper kanda is located directly behind the seventh chakra and is associated with the upper dantian (see Figure 12: The Three Kandas).
To release blockages in the kandas and restore the flow of energy from your chakra fields, you will perform two exercises. In the first exercise you will gaze at your partner from each of your dantians, beginning with the lower dantian. By gazing from each of the dantians, you will be able to determine if you have a blockage in the kanda connected to it.
If there are blockages in any of your kandas, then you won’t connect in a satisfying way or experience a deeper sense of well-being when you gaze at your partner from the dantians. Instead, you will become anxious, frustrated, and/or irritated. If there are no blockages in the kanda, your breathing will get deeper and your muscles will relax. In addition, thoughts will give way to a deep sense of well-being that will bring you closer to one other.
If you find a blockage, you can use the Prana Box Technique to release distorted fields of energy that have blocked the functions of the kanda. By releasing the blockage in the kanda, prana will flow more freely into the dantian and the microcosmic circuit—and you will be able to share that energy with your partner.
The prana box is similar to the bliss box that you used to release blockages in your domains. The only difference is that instead of using bliss to create the box and to release the blockages, you will use prana.
Before we begin, it’s important to note that even though energy with individual qualities has the power to create blockages and cause disease, it’s far weaker than prana. This means that prana can release energy with individual qualities when used effectively, no matter how dense and distorted the energy with individual qualities has become.
We taught the Dantian Eye Scan and the prana box to Sebnem and Howard, as well as to most of the families that suffered from projections of distorted energy. We did that because these two exercises, when used in tandem, provide a simple and effective way for people new to deep family healing to release blockages in the kandas and restore the functions of the microcosmic circuit.
Exercise: The Dantian Eye Scan
In this exercise, you will gaze at your partner from the lower dantian to determine if there are blockages in the kanda associated with it. Once you’ve performed the exercise from the lower dantian, you can use the same technique to determine if there are blockages in the kandas associated with the middle and upper dantians.
The first time they performed the exercise, Simon and Irene had difficulty gazing at one another from the lower dantian and, according to Irene, the longer she gazed at her husband, the more detached from her body and her feelings she became. Her reaction led us to the conclusion that the couple had developed a dominant-submissive pattern that was activated whenever they had a major disagreement. It also motivated us to look deeper into the condition of Irene’s subtle field. On closer inspection, we discovered that she had suffered a significant trauma in childhood and, when we brought this to her attention, she confessed that she had been sexually abused by her high school swimming coach. In Chapter Twelve, you will learn how Irene overcame the trauma and how you can do the same.
To begin the Dantian Eye Scan, sit facing your partner close enough to hold hands. Keep your backs straight. Then breathe deeply through the nose for two to three minutes. Once you’re relaxed, assert, “It’s my intent to go to my personal healing space.” Once you’ve experienced your personal healing space, bring your awareness to your body, soul, and spirit. Enjoy the process for five minutes. Then assert, “It’s my intent to center myself in my lower dantian.” Take a few moments to enjoy the shift. Then assert, “It’s my intent to turn my appropriate organs of perception inward on the level of my lower dantian.”
When you’re ready to continue, open your eyes and gaze at your partner. Continue to gaze at one another for five minutes. Then count from one to five. When you reach the number five, open your eyes and bring yourself out of the exercise.
Exercise: Releasing Blockages in the Kandas
If you’ve found blockages in any of the kandas, you can use the prana box to release them. In the following exercise, you will use the prana box to release blockages in your lower kanda. Once you feel confident, you can use the same exercise to release blockages located in both the middle and upper kandas.
To begin the exercise, find a comfortable position with your back straight. Breathe deeply through your nose for two to three minutes. Then assert, “It’s my intent to go to my personal healing space.” Once you’ve experienced your personal healing space, bring your awareness to your body, soul, and spirit. Enjoy the process for five minutes. Then assert, “It’s my intent to center myself in my lower kanda.” Continue by asserting, “It’s my intent to turn my appropriate organs of perception inward on the level of my lower kanda.” Once you’ve turned your organs of perception inward, assert, “It’s my intent to surround the most distorted field of energy in my lower kanda with a prana box.” As soon as you can sense and/or see the box, assert, “It’s my intent to fill the box with prana and release all the distorted fields of energy within it.” Don’t do anything after that. Prana will fill the box you’ve created and release the distorted field automatically.
Some of you may experience a sense of relief and/or a pop when prana fills the box. Both indicate that the distorted field within the prana box has been released and prana has filled the empty space.
Once the distorted field has been released, release the prana box. Then count from one to five. When you reach the number five, open your eyes and bring yourself out of the exercise.
There’s often more than one blockage that disrupts the flow of prana from a kanda into the microcosmic circuit. Therefore, you may have to repeat the exercise several times. Each time you repeat the exercise, release the most distorted field of energy. In this way, you will continue to release blockages in a systematic manner. We recommend that you and your partner work in the same way until you can gaze at each other from the lower dantian without any distorted fields getting in the way. Only then should you begin to work in another kanda.
The Mutual Field of Prana
It’s not widely known, even among people involved in healing or energy work, that if family members can share enough prana with each other, they will create a field of energy with universal qualities that surrounds them both. This field of energy with universal qualities is called the mutual field of prana.
Once family members have created the mutual field of prana and sustained it for a short time, it will be strong enough to prevent intrusions of energy with individual qualities from interfering with their experience of pleasure, intimacy, and joy. And it will enhance their ability to share energy with universal qualities with one another.
Now, here’s the best part: the mutual field of prana will continue to connect partners together—so that they can share pleasure, love, intimacy, and joy even when they’re separated from one another by great distances or for long periods of time.
Exercise: The Mutual Field of Prana
To create the mutual field of prana, sit facing your partner, eight feet (two and a half meters) apart. Once you’re in position, close your eyes and breathe deeply through your nose for two to three minutes. When you’re ready to continue, count backward from five to one and from ten to one. Then assert, “It’s my intent to go to my personal healing space.” Once you’ve created your personal healing space, bring your awareness to your body, soul, and spirit. Enjoy the process for five minutes. Then assert, “It’s my intent to activate my thirteen chakras in body space.” Once your chakras are active, assert, “It’s my intent to center myself in the chakra fields of my thirteen chakras in body space.” Continue by asserting, “It’s my intent to fill my thirteen chakra fields in body space with prana.” Take a few moments to enjoy the shift. Then assert, “It’s my intent to create a mutual field of prana by radiating prana to my partner from my thirteen chakras in body space.” Don’t do anything after that. Just let the energy radiate freely for ten minutes. After ten minutes, count from one to five. When you reach the number five, open your eyes and bring yourself out of the exercise. Repeat the exercise with your partner until you can share prana freely with each other without any distractions or blockages getting in the way.11
We taught this exercise to a number of families that we worked with. Simon and Irene were clients who benefited from the experience in a remarkable way. Not only were they able to share more prana with each other and their daughter, but Irene was able to tap into her dormant healing power. She continued to work with us for months afterward and eventually began to use her enhanced empathy and healing power to heal her family, friends, and clients.
11. Sherwood, The Art of Spiritual Healing, 204–206.