Contents

1. Dedication
3. I haven’t spent three hours online designing my wedding to nobody.
4. (I have. More than once. Oh god.)
5. I have never been the ringleader of a major crime operation.
6. (I was. For one glorious month, I was.)
7. I was really emotionally scarred by my abortion.
8. (Yeah, um, not really. Sorry.)
9. I’ve only had one abortion.
10. (Two. I’ve had two.)
11. I will never pose naked.
12. (Whoops.)
13. I did everything I could to help my sisters.
14. (I didn’t.)
15. I haven’t had bad sex since I promised myself I wouldn’t put up with it.
16. (Ha.)
17. I was very briefly possessed by the Devil.
18. (Look, I probably wasn’t, but I don’t think this one can be verified either way.)
19. I’ll never end up with someone like my dad.
20. (I was in it before I even realised what was happening.)
21. I’ve never hoped that my mum would die.
22. (I have. Recently.)
23. When I’m home alone, I always look sexy and never do anything weird.
24. (*laughs uproariously*)
25. I don’t believe anything psychics say.
26. (I didn’t, until something crazy happened.)
27. (And I know everyone says that their psychic story is crazy, but this was crazy.)
28. I’m okay
29. (The biggest lie I’ve ever told.)
30. Acknowledgements
31. Resources
32. About the Author
33. Praise
34. Copyright