“ ‘One Kevin Gnapoor, math enthusiast
And bad-arse deejay’—such a card to play!”
“Come hither, Cady, feast thine eyes on this.
“Regina George: an evil dictator.
How doth a state o’erthrow such tyranny?
Cut off her plentiful resources, yea.”
“I have secur’d foot cream from Janis’ shop,
To give it to Regina for her face.”
“Ho ho ho! Candygrams for all and each!”
“Our final act! Pray, welcome to the stage
The helpers of rever’d Saint Nicholas
With their song: ‘Rousing Rock to Jingle Bell.’ ”
“Pray, give these to Regina, for the bars
Will hang upon her waist like a disease…”
“Thou smellest like a baby prostitute,
Preparing for a night of many trysts.”
“Ha! Thou art chosen by my trickery—
’Tis well that I did man the ballot box.”
“Is butter such as may be call’d a carb?”
“O Fate, have you been watching over us—
Hath justice been deliver’d by a bus?”