Contents
1852
The Dandy Frightening the Squatter
Historical Exhibition—A No. 1 Ruse
Editorial Agility
Blabbing Government Secrets!
1859
River Intelligence
1861
Ghost Life on the Mississippi
1862
Petrified Man
1863
Letter from Carson City
Ye Sentimental Law Student
All About the Fashions
Letter from Steamboat Springs
How to Cure a Cold
The Lick House Ball
The Great Prize Fight
A Bloody Massacre Near Carson
“Ingomar” Over the Mountains
1864
Miss Clapp’s School
Doings in Nevada
Those Blasted Children
Washoe.—“Information Wanted”
The Evidence in the Case of Smith vs. Jones
Whereas
A Touching Story of George Washington’s Boyhood
The Killing of Julius Cæsar “Localized”
Lucretia Smith’s Soldier
1865
Important Correspondence
Answers to Correspondents
Advice for Good Little Boys
Advice for Good Little Girls
Just “One More Unfortunate”
Real Estate versus Imaginary Possessions, Poetically Considered
Jim Smiley and His Jumping Frog
“Mark Twain” on the Launch of the Steamer “Capital”
The Pioneers’ Ball
Uncle Lige
A Rich Epigram
Macdougall vs. Maguire
The Christmas Fireside
1866
Policemen’s Presents
What Have the Police Been Doing?
The Spiritual Séance
A New Biography of Washington
Reflections on the Sabbath
1867
Barnum’s First Speech in Congress
Female Suffrage: Views of Mark Twain
Female Suffrage
Official Physic
A Reminiscence of Artemus Ward
Jim Wolf and the Tom-Cats
Information Wanted
The Facts Concerning the Recent Resignation
1868
Woman—an Opinion
General Washington’s Negro Body-Servant
Colloquy Between a Slum Child and a Moral Mentor ...
My Late Senatorial Secretaryship
The Story of Mamie Grant, the Child-Missionary
Cannibalism in the Cars
Private Habits of Horace Greeley
Concerning Gen. Grant’s Intentions
1869
Open Letter to Com. Vanderbilt
Mr. Beecher and the Clergy
Personal Habits of the Siamese Twins
A Day at Niagara
A Fine Old Man
Journalism in Tennessee
The Last Words of Great Men
The Legend of the Capitoline Venus
Getting My Fortune Told
Back from “Yurrup”
1870
An Awful- - - -Terrible Medieval Romance
A Mysterious Visit
The Facts in the Great Land-Slide Case
The New Crime
Curious Dream
About Smells
The Facts in the Case of the Great Beef Contract
The Story of the Good Little Boy Who Did Not Prosper
Disgraceful Persecution of a Boy
Misplaced Confidence
Our Precious Lunatic
A Couple of Sad Experiences
The Judge’s “Spirited Woman”
Breaking It Gently
Post-Mortem Poetry
Wit-Inspirations of the “Two-Year-Olds”
The Widow’s Protest
Report to the Buffalo Female Academy
How I Edited an Agricultural Paper Once
The “Tournament” in A.D. 1870
Unburlesquable Things
The Late Benjamin Franklin
A Memory
Domestic Missionaries Wanted
Political Economy
John Chinaman in New York
The Noble Red Man
The Approaching Epidemic
A Royal Compliment
Science vs. Luck
Goldsmith’s Friend Abroad Again
Map of Paris
Riley—Newspaper Correspondent
A Reminiscence of the Back Settlements
A General Reply
Running for Governor
Dogberry in Washington
My Watch—An Instructive Little Tale
1871
The Facts in the Case of George Fisher, Deceased
The Tone-Imparting Committee
The Danger of Lying in Bed
One of Mankind’s Bores
The Indignity Put upon the Remains of George Holland by the Rev. Mr. Sabine
A Substitute for Rulloff
About Barbers
A Brace of Brief Lectures on Science
The Revised Catechism
1872
The Secret of Dr. Livingstone’s Continued Voluntary Exile
How I Escaped Being Killed in a Duel
1873
Poor Little Stephen Girard
Foster’s Case
License of the Press
Fourth of July Speech in London
The Ladies
1874
Those Annual Bills
The Temperance Insurrection
Rogers
A Curious Pleasure Excursion
A True Story, Repeated Word for Word as I Heard It
An Encounter with an Interviewer
1875
The “Jumping Frog.” In English. Then in French. Then clawed back into a civilized language once more, by patient, unremunerated toil
Experience of the McWilliamses with Membranous Croup
Some Learned Fables for Good Old Boys and Girls
Petition Concerning Copyright
“Party Cries” in Ireland
The Curious Republic of Gondour
1876
A Literary Nightmare
The Facts Concerning the Recent Carnival of Crime in Connecticut
[Date, 1601.] Conversation, as it Was by the Social Fireside, in the Time of the Tudors
The Canvasser’s Tale
The Oldest Inhabitant—The Weather of New England
1877
Francis Lightfoot Lee
My Military History
The Captain’s Story
The Invalid’s Story
Whittier Birthday Speech
1878
Farewell Banquet for Bayard Taylor
About Magnanimous-Incident Literature
1879
The Great Revolution in Pitcairn
Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism
A Presidential Candidate
The Babies. As They Comfort Us in Our Sorrows, Let Us Not Forget Them in Our Festivities
The New Postal Barbarism
Postal Matters
1880
A Telephonic Conversation
Reply to a Boston Girl
Edward Mills and George Benton: A Tale
Mrs. McWilliams and the Lightning
“Millions In It”
A Cat Tale
1881
The Benefit of Judicious Training
Dinner Speech in Montreal
Plymouth Rock and the Pilgrims
Etiquette
1882
Advice to Youth
The Stolen White Elephant
On the Decay of the Art of Lying
Concerning the American Language
Woman—God Bless Her
The McWilliamses and the Burglar Alarm
1883
On Adam
Why a Statue of Liberty When We Have Adam!
1884
Turncoats
Mock Oration on the Dead Partisan
1885
The Character of Man
On Speech-Making Reform
The Private History of a Campaign that Failed
1886
The New Dynasty
Our Children
Taming the Bicycle
1887
Letter from the Recording Angel
Dinner Speech: General Grant’s Grammar
Consistency
Post-Prandial Oratory
A Petition to the Queen of England
1888
American Authors and British Pirates
1889
Yale College Speech
The Christening Yarn
To Walt Whitman
1890
On Foreign Critics
Reply to the Editor of “The Art of Authorship”
An Appeal Against Injudicious Swearing
Chronology
Note on the Texts
Notes
Index of Titles