CONTENTS

So You Want to Be a Perfect Christian

One

Joining the Right Church

Two

Worshipping Like a Pro

Three

Doing Life Together

Four

Serving in Church Without Ever Lifting a Finger

Five

Looking Really Spiritual Online

Six

Striving for Personal Perfection

Seven

Conforming to Mainstream Christian Beliefs

Eight

Quarantining Your Home from the Worldly Wastelands

Nine

Crusading Against the Heathens

Ten

Fighting on the Front Lines of the Culture War

Congratulations, You’ve Arrived!

Acknowledgments