This is a fun trimester, as you watch your belly grow to its fullest. You are glowing, you and your baby soon will be celebrated with a ceremonial blessing or a baby shower, and you are just weeks away from meeting the beautiful soul growing inside of you.

There are many different ways to celebrate your little one’s arrival. Willow had a baby shower with her first baby and a ceremonial blessing with her second. Both were exceptional but quite different.

A traditional baby shower can be anything from a small number of women at a ladies-only shower to a big coed group. Coed showers are gaining in popularity and allow dad and his buddies to celebrate, too.

A blessing, however, is just for the ladies. It embraces an ancient and sacred feminine ritual to bless mom and baby’s journey together. Ceremonial baby blessings tend to be on the smaller, more intimate side. Depending on who is “throwing” or “leading” the blessing, it might be indoors or out in nature. It can start off with a meditation and reading of a prayer or poem while all the women are gathered in a circle. It can have moments where the attending women adorn the mama-to-be with flowers and essential oils, all with meaning behind them from beauty to grace, to love and protection. Then meaningful yet simple gifts are offered (rocks, feathers, handmade pillows, jewelry). These gifts are offered with the intention of meeting the emotional and spiritual needs of the mother’s journey from maiden to mother, or from mother of one, two, or three kids to mother of two, three, or four. They might be offered to her along with the story of why the token was gifted to her, or guidelines on what the gift should represent. For example, it could be something that symbolizes love, or something that symbolizes change and transition, or strength. Acknowledging the strengths and beauty in the mama-to-be is also a wonderful way to adorn her with love. The sky is the limit to individualizing a blessing for a mama-to-be. Ceremonial blessings are a great way to take time out to realize the enormity of what you and your body are doing and to deeply celebrate the new life about to emerge. A blessing can be its own celebration, or a great addition to a baby shower, especially if it’s a first baby, and often can replace the shower if it’s a second, third, or fourth baby.

For more ideas and to learn about having a blessing, visit balancingyourhealth.com.

If seeing your body expand before you is difficult, remember that your belly size is exactly perfect for how far along you are. Everyone “bakes” at different rates, different sizes, and different shapes. Continue journaling and talking to your baby—you might even explain what’s happening on the outside to your little one, who is feeling and possibly experiencing her version of it on the inside.

WHAT TO EAT DURING THE THIRD TRIMESTER

You are now in the home stretch for nutrition, too. At this point, you may be thinking, “What more could I possibly add to my diet?” Fortunately, we don’t actually add much at this point; we just highlight the things you definitely want to keep or add a little more of to give yourself a boost. Your mantra this trimester is basically: Maintain, maintain, maintain.

Calcium

Your baby continues to grow really quickly during this time. The organs mature, your baby can grasp and detect light, and she has fully developed bones (although they are still pliable) by week 36 or 38.

While the bones finish their development, they will continue to use calcium like crazy from your body: About 250 milligrams of calcium are deposited in your baby’s bones daily. We know that doesn’t sound like much, but we never want mama’s reserves to become depleted, so focus on consuming plenty of calcium-rich foods. See here for a refresher on good sources of calcium, where we give you many other options in addition to dairy.

Fat and Protein

Continue eating healthy fat (80 grams/day) and protein (70 grams/day). During this final trimester, maternal protein intake supports the growth of baby’s brain, so getting enough protein right now is essential for your baby’s mental functioning.

You may find consuming adequate fat and protein increasingly difficult because you get full more easily. This is because your uterus and your baby press your stomach higher and higher until it feels like it’s in your throat. You might find you have the eyes-are-bigger-than-your-stomach experience at nearly every meal. The hunger and desire for food will be there but the room for it simply won’t. We can’t tell you how many times a mom will order a giant meal, only to give more than half of it away. Stretching and prenatal yoga does help create a little more space as well as good posture for better digestion. Otherwise, continue to eat smaller meals more frequently and avoid filling up your smaller tank with unhealthy choices—eat the most nutrient-dense foods first to maximize your stomach’s limited real estate.

You acquired the gift of new life, and with that comes the responsibility to make good choices for yourself and your baby.

Remember, this is not the time for quick-fix junk food. We don’t believe in the “eat whatever you want” pass just because you are pregnant. You acquired the gift of new life, and with that comes the responsibility to make good choices for yourself and your baby. The better you eat, the better nutrition baby gets and the better you feel!

Hydration

Stay constantly hydrated because lack of hydration can cause your muscles to cramp, which can induce preterm contractions. Also, don’t forget to include electrolytes to help maintain those optimal amniotic fluid levels. See here for our tips on how to stay well hydrated with the right quality of water.

EXERCISE

During the third trimester, it’s still important to walk, walk, walk, and stay upright. Avoid sitting for long periods of time, slouching, and generally acting like a couch potato. Your posture before you give birth can actually affect your baby’s position, which can make it either easier or harder when it’s time for the baby to arrive. Slouching or tilting back on the couch regularly can tilt your pelvis and change or limit the position that your baby wants to be in. Not to mention that slouching and sitting could increase the frequency and/or intensity of any body aches or stiffness that you feel. So keep moving, and sit tall, Mama!

This handy helper alleviates back pain by improving your posture. Make sure your hips are higher than your knees when you sit on one. If they are not, either get a larger ball or inflate the one you have a little more. Use it at your desk, at the dinner table, while watching your favorite show, or just to relax those pelvic muscles.

When it comes to position, ideally you want your baby to be head down with the face rotated to face the anterior (back) of the body at the end of pregnancy. This is called occiput anterior. Although baby may choose to enter this world his or her way and sometimes no matter what you do your baby may not rotate into this position before he’s due. However, there is still a lot you can do to open up your pelvis to encourage baby to get in position. There are plenty of amazing books and websites for posture and optimal baby positioning to help with labor and birth. Our favorite is spinningbabies.com, where you will find all of the information you need to help with the best positioning for baby, which will, in turn, help you have an easier labor. Who doesn’t want that?

STATE OF MIND

How are you feeling right about now? Scared? Concerned? Worried? Excited? During this time, some moms feel an urge to nest. You might notice that all of a sudden, nothing is ever clean enough, or you find yourself scrambling to rearrange furniture and decorate the house and the baby’s room over and over again. This is nesting and it is real. It isn’t something women make up to explain their need for organization and fun decor; it is a true desire to have your home in order. It is also another sign that baby’s arrival is around the corner.

This inclination to get every inch of your home ready for baby can include cleanliness, decor, gadgets, and more. The level of your current orderliness will determine how strong of a nester you become or if you even notice the urge. If you aren’t that organized to begin with, you may find that you become quite adept at a number of organizing tasks that you never did before. Pick and choose the most important things to prepare for your baby, and then do your best to squeeze in some rest. Once your baby is in your arms, a lot of the nesting will seem unnecessary.

Nesting can also be a sign that you are feeling a bit of.… pregnancy-itis (see box here).

Pregnancy-itis is not an inflammation due to pregnancy; it is similar to what high school and college seniors experience, aka senior-itis: You are so close to the end and are itching to be done and hold your baby. Basically, you are completely over the whole thing. Pregnancy-itis is trickier to deal with than senior-itis, but one way to beat it is to stay active.

Make a lot of plans: Walk with friends or on your own, do yoga, volunteer, or engage in an artistic hobby or craft. Sitting and waiting for a baby to come will make minutes feel like days and days feel like months.

Also, try to be patient about your due date. This is simply an estimate, not the be-all and end-all of your baby’s baking time. You may be ready, but if nothing is happening, it could be a clear sign that baby isn’t ready. We should all think about a woman’s body and adjust for the due date like we would an oven when baking cookies. Some ovens require a shorter baking time for cookies, where others might need longer. If we adjust for something as simple as cookies, how can we not adjust for something as precious as a baby? Basically, don’t focus and put expectations on the estimated due date.

If this is your first pregnancy, you may feel like you’re experiencing a million emotions all at once, which can be overwhelming. To help alleviate some of your concerns, we suggest taking a birth class. See balancingyourhealth.com for information on types of birth classes. Willow suggests Birthing from Within, Hyprobirthing, and Sacred Pregnancy. In birth classes, you’ll explore fears, quell concerns, learn comfort measures, and be prepared as a couple for a positive labor and birth experience. Identifying the root of the fear will release it and enable you to feel more empowered. In Willow’s Birthing from Within class, it was suggested women find a way to change a negative thought into a positive mantra. This was very helpful and enabled her to move past the fear and get back to feeling excited.

Willow’s fear was having her baby turn into a breech position during labor and facing the decision of whether to transfer to a hospital or stay at home and birth the baby in the breech position. After a birth class exploring her fear, she realized that the fear wasn’t the hospital transfer, but actually having to make the decision, a decision she felt she would have to make herself. This was very overwhelming because she didn’t want to make the wrong decision—none of us do. It was also a delusion, because she would not be the only one making this decision. She would have her husband, her birth team, and her midwife all there to help inform her and assist her to make the right decision for the circumstance at hand. This alone rid her of her fear of breech positioning and being transferred to a hospital because she realized the root of the fear was that she was all alone, which couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Her fear became her mantra: “I am supported throughout labor and birth no matter the situation.”

A sitz bath is a bath made from a combination of soothing dried medicinal plants designed to help with any inflammation or tearing in the vaginal area after birth. It is like a tea brewed for your postpartum relief, but instead of drinking it, you sit in a bath of it, or make these refreshing and soothing frozen pads to have on hand.

Sitz baths—baths in which only the buttocks and hips are immersed in water—are recommended for women the first day after birth and up to 2 weeks after. You can also make sitz bath pads for postpartum soothing, which are best placed inside an adult diaper so that as they defrost, the liquid is absorbed into the diaper instead of clothing or bedding.

You won’t need this until after you give birth, but this is something you can prepare ahead of time so that you can reach for the pads right after baby’s arrival.

Sitz Bath Pad Preparation Directions

To make these pads, you’ll need some sanitary pads, a sitz bath tea kit, and plastic wrap. Be sure that you don’t get pads for extra-light days; you want ones meant for medium-heavy flow and you want them to be very long, too.

Make the sitz bath tea as directed on the package. You may want to make multiple batches to have enough for the pads, especially if the directions are for only 1 cup. Lay the sanitary pads out in a baking dish or baking sheet. Pour the strained tea onto the pads, saturating each one to its fullest. Then individually wrap the pads in plastic wrap and lay flat in the freezer. Use postpartum by placing in your underwear or adult diaper.

UNPLEASANT PREGNANCY CONDITIONS: THIRD TRIMESTER

They’re back. Unfortunately, in the third trimester it is very normal to find yourself revisited by some first trimester issues, such as constipation, nausea, and fatigue. The good news, however, is that they generally aren’t as bad as they were the first time around. Flip back to the first trimester list of unpleasant pregnancy conditions to see if you are indeed experiencing pregnancy déjà vu. You might also be experiencing some new issues, like pregnancy brain, hemorrhoids, and some physical and bedroom limitations.

Pregnancy Brain

Is this real? Yes, ladies, it is. Your forgetful self, your lack of vocabulary, and the simple challenge of comprehending what were once simple things are all hallmarks of “pregnancy brain.” The good news is that there is a reason for it; the bad news is that it usually becomes mommy brain (for a while) after the birth of your baby. A 2014 study found that pregnant women showed an increase in activity in the right side of the brain, which is the area related to emotional skills. Researchers at the University of London examined the brains of 39 pregnant women and found that they used the right side of their brains more than new mothers.¹ Look at it as a temporary IQ alteration rather than a decline. During this time, your brain is firing much more on the right side, which is the intuitive and emotional (and maternal) side. Enjoy firing up your mother’s intuition.

Your newfound role and heightened intuition can leave the left side of your brain a little lonely and less active. The left side is known to be more linear, sequential, and responsible for rational thinking. The left hemisphere is also responsible for mental activities such as logic, analysis, speech, and language. Hopefully you can rely on your partner to fill in your left brain gaps and slide deeper into partnership since computer work, banking, and word recall may be slower.

However, if your work and life situation doesn’t allow for this temporary gap in the left brain functioning, a simple way to activate the left side is to do puzzles or games such as Sudoku or crosswords—or a personal game of Boggle—before you sit down to work: Write down a long word and then make as many two-to four-letter words from it as you can. Unless you need to be ready for banking, accounting, or other number-related tasks, we say enjoy the firing of the right hemisphere and the active intuition that is being strengthened as a new mother. You might find you are more in tune with your body, your baby, and the bigger picture of creation than you ever imagined.

This intuition will help guide you through the endless decision-making that comes with pregnancy and motherhood. Trust your gut and what your body and baby are telling you. Most likely, it will be the best choice when compared with any outside opinion.

Hemorrhoids

One issue you may not have had before but may have now is hemorrhoids. These little gifts result from the pressure from your growing uterus and the increase of blood flow that cause the rectal veins to swell, itch, and bulge out of your derriere. Lovely, isn’t it? They can also be aggravated by constipation: Sometimes they wait to make their appearance until postpartum (thanks to all the pushing during birth). Fortunately, we’ve strategized about how to kick them to the curb.

HOW TO AVOID HEMORRHOIDS	I HAVE THEM: HOW TO KICK HEMORRHOIDS TO THE CURB
• Avoid sitting or standing for long periods.
• Avoid constipation (see here). • Lay on your left side periodically throughout the day.	• If caused by constipation, treat accordingly (see here). • Use witch hazel pads to alleviate itching. • Avoid wearing high heels for long periods of time, as this can aggravate hemorrhoid pain and slow circulation, causing varicose veins.² • Use Nelson’s homeopathic hemorrhoid cream. • See the homeopathy hemorrhoid solutions here.

HOW TO AVOID HEMORRHOIDS

I HAVE THEM: HOW TO KICK HEMORRHOIDS TO THE CURB

• Avoid sitting or standing for long periods.

• Avoid constipation (see here).

• Lay on your left side periodically throughout the day.

• If caused by constipation, treat accordingly (see here).

• Use witch hazel pads to alleviate itching.

• Avoid wearing high heels for long periods of time, as this can aggravate hemorrhoid pain and slow circulation, causing varicose veins.²

• Use Nelson’s homeopathic hemorrhoid cream.

• See the homeopathy hemorrhoid solutions here.

Itchy Skin

See here in Chapter 7 for remedies for itchy skin and warning signs of cholestasis.

The next set of issues is more the sort you discuss with your closest girlfriends, mother, or doctor.

Summertime: Bikini Line

How do you keep a clean bikini line when you can’t even see it? Two options:

First, DIY: Get a shower mirror (anti-fog is best) that has suction cups to attach to the wall. Position the mirror so that it is bikini level and use to get yourself bikini-ready.

Second, outsource it. See a trusted aesthetician and get waxed. Make sure she is gentle—all the extra blood pumping down there can make it a lot more sensitive. Take it from Willow, who got a bikini wax the day she went into labor and didn’t even know she was in labor!

Putting on Your Shoes

“Forget about the bikini line, I can barely reach my feet!” If you can relate, ask someone to help you buckle those cute sandals. Otherwise, stick to easy-access shoes or get into a supported squat position to do it yourself. And remember, ladies, no heels if you can help it because they can put pressure on the veins, leading to an increased chance of hemorrhoids.

Sleep Disturbances

“I am so uncomfortable in bed. I don’t want to cuddle. I don’t want blankets. In fact, can you please sleep on the floor?” This is a classic feeling when your belly is big. Sleeping on your left side with the large amount of support pillows you need can end up taking up most of the bed, leaving your partner with about a 10-inch strip of mattress. But guess what? That’s okay. If you have another bed in the house or a comfortable couch, then your partner may opt to sleep elsewhere so you can both rest comfortably.

Sex? How in the World?

Just because you may not sleep next to each other (see the previous section) doesn’t mean that you need to close the doors to lovemaking altogether. The truth is, having sex all the way up until birth is great for you. There are a few positions that may work better than others, so have fun experimenting and seeing what feels best… or the least awkward.

This isn’t going to be honeymoon sex. We aren’t suggesting going at it all day, although if it’s comfortable and you have the energy, go for it. What we are suggesting is that if you have been avoiding this fabulous act, you can feel free to jump right in. Embrace the beauty of your body, laugh at the slow transition from one position to another, and get creative. Making love while pregnant is a great way to connect and release, but it is also physically great for the woman because the prostaglandins in semen are hormones that help activate labor, all while keeping the whole area lubricated and stretchy. You can opt for perennial massage or for a lot of sex to help prepare your skin for the big stretch—you decide.

EXTRA FUN BEFORE BABY COMES

Although the time after your baby is born is precious, remember that your pregnancy is equally so—and that it will soon end. Below are a couple of ideas that can be restorative and positive for both you and your partner.

Photos

Get pregnancy photos! Have them professionally taken or throw your camera to a friend to get some shots of you and your belly and your hubby. You might even look back and miss your luscious belly.

Another option for capturing your belly is to make a shadow silhouette. With a bright light or the natural light of the sun, trace the outline of your belly onto a piece of black paper, cut it out, and frame it. You can change the size of the cutout by moving closer or farther from the paper so that the image could even be small enough to put in a baby book!

There is also belly casting. Make a mold of your belly to decorate and hang on your wall. Many doulas offer this service, or you can get a kit and do it at home with your friends or family. Pinterest will surely open your creative mind on all the ways this project could be so fun.

Babymoon

We all know what a honeymoon is, but what’s a babymoon? It’s a mini vacation or event where you and your partner take off or have a stay-cation and enjoy each other’s company before baby comes. Life can get busy in the last weeks of pregnancy and it’s a wonderful thing to be able to reconnect and enjoy something that you won’t get the chance to do again for a while. Whether it’s a nap on the beach, going to a concert, getting a hotel and relaxing by the pool, or going to a movie, find some time to act like a new couple.

Calendula is like nature’s Neosporin. It is the flower that heals all things skin. As a first choice for scrapes, cuts, and burns, Willow reaches for calendula in all forms: tinctures, lotions, salves, ointments, etc. Here is her recipe for Calendula Salve. But if you don’t have the time or just aren’t the apothecary type, you can buy salves online or at your local health food store. Hyland’s makes a great ointment for cuts and scrapes, and Weleda makes a great calendula diaper cream. Christa and Willow both suggest using calendula externally for relief from eczema or psoriasis-type skin irritations.

CALENDULA SALVE

Great for diaper rash, as a daily cream or lotion, on scratches, or for any skin issue that may develop.

Makes 4 ounces • Prep time: 1 hour • Cook time: 2 to 8 hours

2 cups calendula petals, from a garden or from Mountain Rose Herbs (mountainroseherbs.com)—be sure to only use petals, not the stems or center of the flower

1 cup coconut oil or organic extra virgin olive oil

¼ cup beeswax pellets or beads

10 or more drops high-quality essential oil(s) such as lavender to help preserve the salve (DoTerra or Young Living are our two favorite brands)

In a double boiler or slow cooker, mix the petals with the olive oil and cook on low heat for 2 hours in the double boiler on the stove top, or as long as 8 hours in the slow cooker. Be sure you cook on low heat so the mixture doesn’t boil (small bubbles are okay).

Near the end of the petal infusion, begin melting the beeswax in a double boiler. Low heat here, too: Better to melt slowly than to burn.

Strain the infused oil. Add to the melted beeswax and stir in the essential oil(s).

Pour into a 4-ounce glass apothecary jar (avoid clear jars; amber-colored glass is best to protect the salve from ultraviolet radiation). Leave uncovered until cool, then store in a cool place for up to a year, although it likely will get used before then.

AFFIRMATIONS FOR THE THIRD TRIMESTER

In the third trimester it is common to have fears or doubts. Sometimes they just naturally find their way to you. You are wondering about what kind of birth you will have, will it hurt, will everything go okay, etc. These are real and natural feelings that go through every pregnant woman’s mind and heart. It’s important to use affirmations to calm down so that these worries and fears don’t overtake you. So when these moments arise, remind yourself of these true statements:

My body and baby know just what to do. Fall deep into this knowledge and let the body guide you. It knows what to do when the mind doesn’t.

My process is my individual way. We are all unique, and so is the way we approach and accomplish things—thank goodness. There is no one right way.

Observe others; don’t compare. Observing allows for a separation of experience. It allows you to fully witness your own path.

Other birth experiences are not my own. Women love to share their experience, either because it was short and easy and they want the same for you, or because it wasn’t short and easy and the telling of their story is healing for them. However, it might be downright frightening to you. So remember: Their story is not yours.

PREPARING FOR THE BIRTH AND PREPPING FOR POSTPARTUM

Write out your birth plan. Write out your wishes. Don’t worry so much about how it will happen, but focus on what experience you would like to have. For example, you may want to:

• feel supported.

• experience trusting your body and listening to your heart and gut.

• feel confident in your decisions.

• have a peaceful atmosphere, soft voices, and a supportive partner and birth team (a doula can help with all of these).

PREPPING FOR POSTPARTUM

Maybe you’re thinking, “What more could I prep? I’m following all this nutrition advice, I’m cleaning my house three times a day, and I am having a ton of clean-shaven-bikini-line lovemaking.” This is amazing, but there are still some things you can do now to prepare for when your baby is out of your gorgeous belly and snuggling in your arms.

It’s surprising how easily fatigue can sneak up on you during the postpartum period. There are a few reasons why. First, your new little one usually has you up all hours of the night, leaving you tired and exhausted day after day. Second, if you are breast-feeding, you are also burning more calories and further depleting your body’s stores of energy. Finally, the emotional toll of going from just you to mommy-and-me, or to adding one more child to your family, is physically exhausting just as much as it is emotionally draining.

All of these factors conspire to leave you more fatigued than you ever thought possible. And what have recent studies identified as a key factor that exacerbates postpartum depression (PPD)? Fatigue. Preparing as much as possible for the fact that you might not have the same energy levels postpartum can help make the days after giving birth easier, regardless of how tired you actually feel on a day-to-day basis. That preparation can include hiring a postpartum doula who can provide vital relief and support during the first days and weeks to a sleep-deprived mama. Choosing placenta encapsulation can also help, since it has been shown to reduce fatigue by providing extra needed nutrition (read more here). Finally, simply stocking your freezer full of healthy food, gathering all of your sitz bath ingredients, scheduling help from family and friends, or having practitioners lined up for things unforeseen can make all the difference when it comes to your experience during the postpartum period. For all of those reasons, we suggest that you read the postpartum chapter before having your baby. Reading and retaining information is infinitely more difficult with postpartum hormones raging and a newborn at your side.

Postpartum doulas serve an amazing function to the new phase of motherhood. Supporting a family with caretaking, chores, or just letting a mom sleep, can help stave off the blues and even postpartum depression, since it’s associated with and exacerbated by fatigue. Find out more through DONA.org, your midwife, your OB, or a friend who has used one before.

You’ll find you’ll want to have on hand the following after the baby comes: postpartum-period-specific supplements, like chlorella and maca; a homeopathy kit (find one at balancingyourhealth.com); and delicious meal plans with tips for convenience to set yourself up in advance. And there’s more. This is why we do a deep dive into customizing your Postpartum Survival Guide in the next chapter. Knowledge is power and the preparations you make now and combine with the knowledge we give you in the next chapter will set you up for astounding success and a happier, more graceful postpartum period.

• Enjoy a Blessingway or baby shower.

• Continue with healthy fats like avocados and coconut oil.

• Walk 2 miles per day and keep slouching and couch sitting to a minimum.

• Laugh at all the things that are normally simple to do without a belly, and try our tips to manage bikini lines and make sleeping and lovemaking easier.

• Enjoy a babymoon.

• Begin prepping for postpartum; consider a placenta encapsulator.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Weeks 27 through 40: Your Third Trimester Guide

Equipping you with everything you need for your third trimester, delivery, and postpartum

Celebrating Your New Bundle of Joy