Prepping for Your 90-Day Journey
In this chapter you’re going to prepare for your ninety-day journey by learning a number of skills:
•A new way to prep meals in advance so it’s easier for you to stay on track with helpful eating throughout the week—no massive batches of brown rice included!
•How to create a new habit
•How to get and stay motivated (and how motivation is different from willpower)
•How to be on high alert for any potential pitfalls that could get in your way
•How to fill out the intake form that you will use as a benchmark for the next twelve weeks
Let’s get started!
Meal Prep
For many of my clients, meal planning is on the top of their list of complaints before we begin our work together. Beth writes, “Meal planning is a huge struggle for me. I hate being decisive and feel bad if I make my boyfriend eat the same thing all the time, even though he wouldn’t mind that in the least, so I tend to freeze up and eat like a toddler.”
Let’s break down the above:
•Meal planning is a huge struggle
•You’re indecisive about what to make
•You don’t want to subject those you cook for to the same few meals over and over
•So you do nothing and end up eating cheese sticks
Does this sound like you? You’re not alone. In my experience, about 75 percent of the population does the same thing. If, however, you’re a foodie who spends hours blissfully cooking every day, meal prep likely isn’t a challenge for you. You can skip the rest of this section and move on to Willpower Versus Motivation.
The way I help my clients with meal prep is by teaching them to automate as much of the process as possible. There is a reason why John D. Rockefeller, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and other visionaries have been known to wear the same outfit every day; making decisions is mentally expensive. To have as much brainpower available as possible, many industry leaders opt to remove as much unnecessary decision making from their days as possible.
By automating your meal prep, you will stack the deck for success so you will have nourishing, helpful foods at the ready.
At the same time, if we make the meals too repetitive, the chances of you sticking with it for any length of time are slim. While common meal prepping advice includes making massive batches of food on Sunday evenings, that only works for those people who don’t mind eating similar, if not identical, meals every day of the week. Perhaps my husband loves routine because he grew up eating rice and beans at every meal every single day of his life in Brazil. If you’re the same way, more power to you! It’s going to be even easier for you to automate your nourishing meals. But if your palate gets sick of the same thing pretty quickly, I find that cooking one day ahead increases meal prep success tenfold. The only thing you do on Sunday night is buy the food and make tomorrow’s (Monday’s) meals. That’s it.
After a long and tiring day, having to make the meal you’re about to eat can lend itself to giving up on the helpful option and choosing something quick, which is typically not helpful toward your weight loss goals. Instead, eat today’s meals (made yesterday) and use the energy from that meal to spend twenty minutes making tomorrow’s meals. The proactivity of this and the small amount of time required will motivate you to keep going, day after day. For this to work, you don’t prep when you’re hangry (hungry + angry) and you don’t prep food you don’t want to eat. This twenty-eight-day plan allows for variety, simplicity, and automation!
I know, I know. I can already hear you exclaim, “Grace, TWENTY-EIGHT meals?! That is way too many!” Take a nice, deep letting-go breath, my friend! A breakfast could be cereal with hemp milk (one meal down). A snack could be apple slices with cashew butter (two meals down). These are supposed to be simple. In the bonus resources online, you’ll find a sample menu written by Jovanka Ciares, nutrition educator, wellness coach, and registered herbalist. Feel free to use it as is (plant-based) or adjust it to suit your dietary preferences. We’ve also broken the twenty-eight meals down into an easy shopping list for you. Find it at www.CloseYourEyesLoseWeight.com.
Pro Tip: When making your meal plan, you can also use the recording in chapter six to make your meal plan based on your intuition.
You don’t have to eat the same exact thing every day, but you can use the same meal plan every week, which is a huge plus if you love automating your life. Here’s how you do it:
1.Make a list of twenty-eight healthy, helpful meals you love and that are easy to make. These include seven breakfasts, seven lunches, seven snacks, and seven dinners.
2.Visit www.CloseYourEyesLoseWeight.com to watch the how-to video. You’ll also receive a fancy spreadsheet that will help you organize all the ingredients needed to make those twenty-eight simple meals. This will help you
a)save money by only buying what you need;
b)simplify your shopping; and
c)make this repeatable each week (automation—woot!).
3.On Sundays, using your fancy spreadsheet, order or shop for all the food you’ll need for the rest of the week.
4.For the rest of the week, only make tomorrow’s meals today.
Willpower Versus Motivation
Willpower (noun): control exerted to do something or restrain impulses.
Motivation (noun): the general desire or willingness of someone to do something.
“Grace, I need your help, but I don’t know if it will work because I have no willpower.” I’ve heard it a million times. If you’re concerned about willpower, you can take a nice, deep letting-go breath and relax now.
The weight loss solution you’re looking for is found in consistency and subconscious conditioning, not solely in willpower. In fact, even if you had all the willpower in the world, but your subconscious mind wanted something different from what your willpower wanted, willpower would lose every time.
Freud described the mind as an iceberg, with the conscious mind making up the part we see above the water (10 percent) and the subconscious mind taking up the entire mass beneath the surface (90 percent).
Willpower lives in the conscious mind, and as the conscious mind is only 10 percent of the equation that makes up who we are and why we do what we do, willpower alone can’t be counted on to achieve one’s weight loss goals. All it takes is one bad day, and willpower goes right out the window. Willpower isn’t reliable enough to get us where we desire to go. You have to generate enough energy to rewire your subconscious while you make new conscious choices at the same time. With the help of hypnosis, this process will likely be more streamlined and effective than anything else you’ve tried before.
Willpower is about controlling impulses. Over time, hypnosis removes unhelpful impulses so there’s nothing you’ll need to try to control. Motivation, however, you need from beginning to end because motivation is the desire to keep going. Remember from page 27, hypnosis is not mind control and you must have a high level of desire to experience the result for the hypnosis to be effective. In this next section I will provide you the information necessary to keep your motivation high for the next twelve weeks, and beyond!
How to Get and Stay Motivated
In answer to the question “What were your greatest weight loss challenges in the past?” one Grace Spacer shared, “After the initial excitement of starting something new fades, I find that it is hard to stay motivated or keep up that level of excitement.” Another responded, “Me, too! Busy life creates the opportunity to ‘fall back’ into old patterns.”
The dreaded “old patterns” and “fading of initial excitement” are the downfall of so many worthy pursuits. The forces stopping you from creating new patterns and cultivating sustained excitement about a new endeavor are much more insidious than you might have imagined. What you’re up against is called Resistance.
The opposite of motivation is Resistance, with a capital R. I first learned about it from Steven Pressfield. His short and engaging The War of Art is, in my opinion, a must read. In the book, Pressfield explains that any endeavor worth undertaking will be met with Resistance. Resistance wants to stop you from becoming your best self, it wants to stop you from being seen, and it wants to stop you from being better than you are now because to be better than you are now would require you to change your existing habits, and Resistance positively hates that idea. Pressfield gives examples of the areas in life where we should expect Resistance to show up:
•Any diet or health regimen
•The pursuit of any calling in writing, painting, music, film, dance, or any creative art, however marginal or unconventional
•Any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health, or integrity
•Any act that derives from our higher nature instead of our lower26
Luckily, hypnosis helps overcome a tremendous amount of Resistance simply by virtue of aligning your subconscious beliefs with your conscious goals. However, conditioning your subconscious does take some time. In the interim it is important for you to be able to identify Resistance and defeat it. That might sound dramatic, but think about how many people you know who hate their bodies and eat things they don’t want to eat and behave in ways they don’t want to behave. Resistance’s batting average is high. You cannot let it win any longer.
Put another way, Resistance is a lack of motivation to do something you wanted to do. It is also a clear sign that the subconscious is reverting to its old habits in an effort to conserve energy. It takes a tremendous amount of energy to change your ways. We want everything to be easy, we want what we want instantly, we hate the idea of having to work hard for what we want. But repetition, commitment, and perseverance are the keys that unlock anything worth achieving.
You desire to lose weight and love the body you have.
Do you know what it takes to lose weight and love the body you have?
Are you committed and willing to do what it takes to lose weight and love the body you have?
Anytime the answer to that question is no . . .
You’re not being lazy.
It’s not a sign that you’re weak.
You haven’t given up.
You are facing Resistance!
Resistance is a real force that only wants you to do what you’re already doing. Resistance doesn’t want you to do what it takes to get the result you want, because that would require you to change—a lot! Change is Resistance’s worst enemy.
“To defeat Resistance and get the results I want, I have to make motivation a HABIT.”
Again, reread that last sentence three times with a nice, deep letting-go breath in between each round.
All human beings are programmed to create habitual behaviors because habits run automatically. Anything that runs automatically is energy efficient, and the body always wants to conserve energy in case it has to run away and protect itself.
What you must do is create beneficial, helpful habits that still run in the background and are good for you. So the initial motivation you experience, the initial desire to change, fueled by an upcoming high school reunion, or a health scare, or an inspiring Will Smith Instagram clip or movie, charges you with energy, enough energy to take a new action.
And maybe that new action lasts a few days, but inevitably, without that same reunion or health scare fueling us, we lose the motivation, the energy required to make a different choice. How do you make that willingness, that energy, last?
You program your subconscious mind to get motivated and stay motivated.
Why are drill sergeants always screaming at privates to do more push-ups? They don’t lean over and whisper, “Oh, excuse me, would you mind doing more physical exercise than you ever have before, until your muscles convulse and you throw up to prove to me how badly you want to be a SEAL?”
No, they SCREAM at them because that adrenaline creates energy, and energy is required to get and stay motivated. New actions are energetically expensive, so you have to learn how to continually renew and fill up your energy bank account. If you find yourself falling off your plans or losing motivation, you’ve lost the energy required to take an action that is different from your habitual action.
Think of people running a marathon. The friends and family on the sidelines are not sitting down in chairs, quietly clapping, mouthing “good job, please continue.” The people on the sidelines are jumping up and down, screaming, holding signs, giving high fives. They are transferring additional energy into the runners by being energetic themselves. When a joke falls flat, a comedian will say, “Tough crowd.” Why is that? The audience is giving no energy to the comedian, and it starts to feel like an uphill battle to perform. You’ll hear performers describe a fabulous crowd, by contrast, as “electric.”
You must be electric. A conduit of actual energy. There is no shame, no guilt, no failing, simply energy—a lack thereof, a steady amount, or a surge of it. To desire a new result, to desire doing what it takes to make a new choice and then making that new choice, you need a surge of energy.
Do you see how looking at it this way makes it so clear? All the shame is allowed to leave your system now. Take a deep breath and watch it go. Bye-bye, shame! There is no “I’m a failure,” “I’m so weak,” “It’s never going to happen for me,” “I don’t want it enough,” “I’ll always be like this.” NO! It’s a matter of getting curious: “Huh, I clearly need more energy right now so I can cultivate the motivation required to take an action that is different from the habitual action programmed in my brain. What’s one way I can cultivate more energy right now?” That’s a great question and great questions elicit great answers. Practice asking that out loud right now:
“What’s one way I can cultivate more energy right now?”
Ask this in place of “What’s wrong with me?” every single time Resistance tries to get you to think it. “Cancel, cancel!” that thought. “Cancel, cancel!” it and replace it with “What’s one way I can cultivate more energy right now?” (Return to page 15 for a refresher on how to use the “Cancel, cancel!” technique.)
Here are some things I want you to do to cultivate more energy right now:
1.Listen to your favorite pump-up musical anthem.
A few of my clients’ favorite pump-up anthems are “Don’t Hurt Yourself” by Beyoncé and “Lose Yourself” by Eminem. “Happy” by Pharrell Williams is a good PG-rated choice.
2.Do ten jumping jacks (just ten—you don’t get extra points for doing more right now, since this has to be a quick process) or roll up onto your toes, reach your arms up over your head toward the ceiling, come back down onto flat feet, and repeat this stretch nine more times.
3.Then sit back, close your eyes, and listen to the chapter three recording found at www.CloseYourEyesLoseWeight.com.
Now that you’re done, how do you feel? More energy? Enough energy to make a new, better, healthier choice? Awesome. Let’s get this down on paper so you can remember it when you need it next:
Write down how you feel right now and, most importantly, write yourself a call to action for you to come back here and do this EXACT sequence anytime Resistance pops up in your life.
If you find yourself falling off course at any point over the next ninety days, no problem! Everyone falls off the bike when first learning to ride. You now know what to do to get back on and pedal even further:
•Reject self-sabotage’s desire to reach for shame, guilt, and ugly thoughts because they only dig the hole deeper. Reject those ideas outright. This is black and white and unemotional. It’s Resistance. Everyone has it, but you won’t let it win.
•You recognize Resistance has swung by for a visit.
•You recognize you require a surge of energy so you can get motivated.
•Once you’re back to being motivated, it’s much easier for you to make the right choice and drive Resistance out of town.
•Rinse, wash, repeat. Reject shame, cultivate energy, reinstate motivation, make the right choice.
For the rest of this ninety-day journey (and for the rest of your life), any time you “don’t want to do it” or find yourself making an unhelpful choice or giving into lame-o excuses, say its name out loud: “Resistance . . . I see you!” You now have so many ways you can defeat Resistance in that moment. Come back to this chapter, reread it, cultivate energy, listen to the chapter three hypnosis recording provided at www.CloseYourEyesLoseWeight.com, practice this week’s self-hypnosis, document your experiences in your journal pages, and get back to work because you are worth it!
Learning a New Habit
Think about what it was like to learn to drive a car. Even for those of us who learned to drive in an automatic car, but especially for those of you who learned to drive a manual car, it is awkward at first. It was clunky, jarring, literally stop-and-go, back and forth, stopping short, trying to check all the mirrors and look where you have to go while not stalling out. It was not comfortable, and it was not automatic. This is what learning a brand-new habit is always like. When you learn the habit in the subconscious mind, it becomes an automatic habit much faster than when attempting to learn it only consciously. (Parents with kids about to get their permits: remember this and check out our “Learning to Drive” Grace Space hypnosis recording!) But even with the help of hypnosis, learning a new habit is still going to be a bit clunky at first. Just keep going.
A few additional and important final no-no’s when prepping for your ninety-day journey and you’ll be on your way.
Avoid the following:
•Waiting until you’re extremely hungry. Plan to avoid this—eat before the major hunger pains arise to limit overeating or scarfing down food.
•Standing in front of the pantry or fridge while hungry, thinking, “Hmm, what should I have?” Plan to avoid this—already know what you’re going to eat in advance and make it the day before. My toddler has taught me an important lesson—if he sees a healthier choice next to an unhealthy but “yummier” food, he goes for what is tastier in the short term, every time. But if I only offer him one option, the healthy option, he happily munches away without complaint. You want to avoid unhelpful options altogether.
•Food shopping on a whim while hungry. Plan to avoid this—only ever shop for food when you’re not hungry and when you have a plan of what ingredients you need to buy for your week’s worth of meals.
•Hitting a drive-through with lots of tempting, unhelpful food options because you only have five minutes to eat. Plan to avoid this—have healthy snacks on you at all times so if you forget your lunch box or your schedule runs away from you, you’re going into your bag for a banana or a handful of nuts instead of ordering a batch of deep-fried potatoes.
The most important thing is that you remove these from your experience entirely:
•Shame
•Guilt
•“I’m failing.”
•“What’s wrong with me?”
“Cancel, cancel!” all those old, unhelpful thoughts. Read the following passage out loud and copy it down in your own handwriting in the space provided. Then read it to yourself every time you need a pick-me-up:
I promise to get curious. I promise to stay neutral. When I see the data heading in an unhelpful direction, it lets me know which areas would benefit from additional conditioning. That’s all. That area simply needs more conditioning. I adjust my daily hypnosis practices to give those areas more attention. I continue to track the data and look forward to progressing in all areas over time. I am learning. I am doing great. I am proud of myself. This is fun!
Now you are ready for your official intake form.
Intake Form
SELECT HOW YOU’RE GOING TO TRACK YOUR PROGRESS
(A) Weight(B) Measurements(C) How You Feel in Your Clothes(D) Energy Level
If you’re tracking your weight or measurements, record your starting numbers below. If you choose to track how your clothes fit or your energy level, indicate how you currently feel on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 as the worst and 5 as the best.
What is your natural weight?
What weight do you know you can easily achieve?
Why do you want to lose weight?
Why don’t you want to lose weight?
When do you eat?
Where do you eat?
What foods do you have trouble with (salty/sweets/carbs/etc.)?
What are some alternatives to eating, if you’re simply bored?
What are some alternative foods?
Are large portions a problem?
Are second helpings a problem?
Do you exercise?
Have you dieted?
Close your eyes. Can you imagine (desired outcome)?
It’s likely you received some powerful and new insights while filling out the above. Take note as you work your way through the recordings I’ve made for you each week where your subconscious ideas differ from your what your conscious mind wrote above. As a bonus, if you ever choose to work with one of our Grace Space hypnotherapists, they will ask you the same questions above, so you’ll be a step ahead in being able to share this information with them during your first session (visit www.CloseYourEyesLoseWeight.com for more information). It will also be fascinating and rewarding for you to return to your intake form after these first ninety days are complete—you’ll see how much you’ve transformed!
Homework
A.Practice self-hypnosis three times a day, every day this week (right before breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Turn to page 20 for a reminder of how to do self-hypnosis or head to www.CloseYourEyesLoseWeight.com to follow along with a tutorial video.
B.Listen to the “Prep Week—Motivation” hypnosis recording every day for the next week here: www.CloseYourEyesLoseWeight.com.
C.Use your journal pages daily to stay motivated, log your progress, and determine which pick-me-up hypno-affirmations you’ll benefit from most this week.
Hypno-affirmations—Motivation
•I seek out ways to cultivate energy.
•By cultivating energy, I easily stay motivated.
•I am worthy and deserving of sticking with this.
•I am worthy of doing what it takes to be healthy.
•I recognize Resistance and do what it takes to defeat it!
•I make tomorrow’s meals today so I am healthy every day.
You’ve got meal prep under control, you’ve got the necessary tools to cultivate the energy required to get and stay motivated. It’s time to move on! In the next chapter you’ll be shocked to learn what happens when your subconscious learns how to eat properly, how to hydrate properly, how to stop eating when you’re full, and more. Do ten jumping jacks or toe roll-ups (just ten!) to get even more excited about what’s coming next, then turn the page.
26 Steven Pressfield, The War of Art (New York: Black Irish Entertainment, 2002), 5–6.