40% of marriages end in divorce: Hurley, D. (2005, April 19). Divorce rate: It’s not as high as you think. New York Times, Retrieved December 14, 2008, from www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html. Kreider, R., & Fields, J. (2002, February). Number, timing, and duration of marriages and divorces: 1996, February. U.S. Census Bureau Current Population Reports.
[Compassion] is the state of wishing: Davidson, R., & Harrington, A. (2002). Visions of compassion: Western scientists and Tibetan Buddhists examine human nature (p. 98). Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.
cultivate a new relationship to ourselves: Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2, 85–102.
most thoroughly researched of all psychotherapy methods: Walsh, R., & Shapiro, S. (2006). The meeting of meditative disciplines and Western psychology: A mutually enriching dialogue. American Psychologist, 61(3), 227–239.
awareness of present experience, with acceptance: Germer, C. (2005). Mindfulness: What is it? What does it matter? In C. Germer, R. Siegel, & P. Fulton (Eds.), Mindfulness and psychotherapy (pp. 3–27). New York: Guilford Press.
my father met a mountaineer: Harrer, H. (1953/1997). Seven years in Tibet. New York: Penguin Group (USA)/Tarcher.
introduced the Buddhist practice of mindfulness and compassion: Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Dell.
it’s the resentment against suffering that is the real pain: Ginsberg, A. (1997). In Smith, J. (Ed.), Everyday mind (p. 96). New York: Riverhead Books.
there’s “no negation” in the unconscious mind: Freud, S. (1915/1971). The unconscious. In The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 14, p. 186). London: Hogarth Press.
we typically return to our former level of happiness: Diener, E., Lucas, R., & Scollon, C. (2006). Beyond the hedonic treadmill: Revising the adaptation theory of well-being. American Psychologist, 61(4), 304–314.
The Hedonic Treadmill: Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M. H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation level theory: A symposium (pp. 287–302). New York: Academic Press.
How many hippos worry: Sapolsky, R. (2004). Why zebras don’t get ulcers: An updated guide to stress, stress related diseases, and coping (p. 5). New York: Holt.
telomeres: Epel, E., Blackburn, E., Lin, J., Dhabhar, F., Adler, N., Morrow, J., & Cawthon, R. (2004). Accelerated telomere shortening in response to life stress. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 101(49), 17312–17315. Sapolsky, R. (2004). Organismal stress and telomeric aging: An unexpected connection. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 101 (50), 17323–17324.
Embracing Misery in Marriage: Gehart, D., & McCollum, E. (2007). Engaging suffering: Towards a mindful re-visioning of family therapy practice. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 33(2), 214–226.
tracked 650 couples to discover what made marriages successful: Gottman, J. (1999). The marriage clinic: A scientifically-based marital therapy. New York: Norton. Gottman, J., Coan, J., Carrere, S., & Swanson, C. (1998). Predicting marital happiness and stability from newly wed interactions. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 60, 5–22. Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Three Rivers Press.
acceptance-based couple therapy: Christensen, A., Atkins, D., Yi, J., Baucom, D., & George, W. (2006). Couple and individual adjustment for 2 years following a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional versus integrative behavioral couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74 (6), 1180–1191. Christensen, A., & Jacobson, N. (2000). Reconcilable differences. New York: Guilford Press. Jacobson, N., & Christensen, A. (1996). Acceptance and change in couple therapy: A therapist’s guide to transforming relationships. New York: Norton.
The Benefit of Worry: Borkovec, T., & Hu, S. (1990). The effect of worry on cardiovascular response to phobic imagery. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 28 (1), 69–73.
affecting at least five million people: Agency for Health Care Policy and Research. (1994). Acute low back problems in adults: Clinical practice guideline No. 14 (AHCPR Publication No. 95–0642). Rockville, MD: Public Health Service, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
60–70% of Americans get lower back pain: Hart, L., Deyo, R., & Cherkin, D. (1995). Physician office visits for low back pain: Frequency, clinical evaluation, and treatment patterns from a U.S. national survey. Spine, 20(1), 11–19. Van Tulder, M., Koes, B., & Bombardier, C. (2002). Low back pain. Best Practice and Research in Clinical Rheumatology 16, 761–775.
people without chronic back pain have the same structural back problems: Jensen, M., Brant-Zawadzki, M., Obucowski, N., Modic, M., Malkasian, D., & Ross, J. (1994). Magnetic resonance imaging of the lumbar spine in people without back pain. New England Journal of Medicine, 331(2), 69–73.
success rate of back surgery for herniated disks: Peul, W., van den Hout, W., Brand, R., Thomeer, R., Koes, B., et al. (2008). Prolonged conservative care versus early surgery in patients with sciatica caused by lumbar disc herniation: Two year results of a randomised controlled trial. British Journal of Medicine, 336, 1355–1358.
the most valuable treatment for a herniated disk: Siegel, R. (2005). In C. Germer, R. Siegel, & P. Fulton (Eds.), Mindfulness and psychotherapy (pp. 173–196). New York: Guilford Press. Siegel, R. D., Urdang, M., & Johnson, D. (2001). Back sense: A revolutionary approach to halting the cycle of back pain. New York: Broadway Books.
prevalence of chronic back pain is lowest in developing countries: Volinn, E. (1997). The epidemiology of low back pain in the rest of the world: A review of surveys in low middle income countries. Spine, 22(15), 1747–1754.
Job Dissatisfaction Predicts Chronic Low Back Pain: Williams, R., Pruitt, S., Doctor, J., Epping-Jordan, J., Wahlgren, D., Grant, I., et al. (1998). The contribution of job satisfaction to the transition from acute to chronic low back pain. Archives of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation, 79 (4), 366–374.
reports having insomnia in any given year: Becker, P. (2006). Insomnia: Prevalence, impact, pathogenesis, differential diagnosis, and evaluation. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 29(4), 855–870.
trying too hard to fall asleep: Lundh, L. (2005). Role of acceptance and mindfulness in the treatment of insomnia. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy: An International Quarterly, 19 (1), 29–39.
you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy: Seinfeld, J. (2008, September 19). Thinkexist: Jerry Seinfeld quotes. thinkexist.com/quotes/Jerry_Seinfeld.
at least a third of us feel that our anxiety is “excessive”: Stein, M., Walker, J., & Forde, D. (1996). Public-speaking fears in a community sample: Prevalence, impact on functioning, and diagnostic classification. Archives of General Psychiatry, 53 (2), 169–174.
Suppress It!: Wegner, D., Schneider, D., Carter, S., & White, T. (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53(1), 5–13.
on emotional suppression: Gailliot, M., Baumeister, R., DeWall, C., Maner, J., Plant, E., Tice, D., et al. (2007). Self-control relies on glucose as a limited energy source: Willpower is more than a metaphor. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92 (2), 325–336.
Suzanne and Michael were going through “cold hell”: Germer, C. (2006, Spring). Getting along: Loving the other without losing yourself. Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, pp. 25–27.
able to reduce their medication: Kuyken, W., Byford, S., Taylor, R., Watkins, E., Holden, E., White, K., et al. (2008). Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy to prevent relapse in recurrent depression. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76 (6), 966–978.
if you can’t be fully present with the difficult moments: Moffitt, P. (2008). Dancing with life: Buddhist insights for finding meaning and joy in the face of suffering (p. 41). New York: Rodale Press.
it’s the process of establishing a new relationship with our thoughts: Long-more, R., & Worrell, M. (2007). Do we need to challenge thoughts in cognitive behavior therapy? Clinical Psychology Review, 27(2), 173–187. Hayes, S., Follette, V., & Linehan, M. (Eds.). (2004). Mindfulness and acceptance: Expanding the cognitive—behavioral tradition. New York: Guilford Press. Roemer, L., & Orsillo, S. (2009). Mindfulness- and acceptance-based behavioral therapies in practice. New York: Guilford Press.
the Latin roots com (with) pati (suffer): Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved September 20, 2008, from www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=compassion.
It is just simple attention: Feldman, C., & Kornfield, J. (1991). Stories of the spirit, stories of the heart (p. 83). New York: HarperCollins.
Big Dipper: Goldstein, J. (1993). Insight meditation: The practice of freedom (p. 112). Boston: Shambhala.
Mary Oliver reminds us in this poem: Oliver, M. (2005). “Mindful.” In Why I wake early: New poems (pp. 58–59). Boston: Beacon Press.
“Knowing what you are experiencing while you’re experiencing it”: Armstrong, G. (2008, January 9). From a talk at the Mind and Life Institute Scientist’s Retreat, Insight Meditation Society, Barre, MA.
Suddenly the city: Bamber, L. (2008). “Suddenly the city.” In Metropolitan Tang (p. 27). Jaffrey, NH: Black Sparrow.
The “Default Network”: Gusnard, D., & Raichle, M. (2001). Searching for a baseline: Functional imaging and the resting human brain. Nature Reviews/Neuroscience, 2, 685–694.
Default network during meditation using fMRI: Pagnoni, G., Cekic, M., & Guo, Y. (2008). “Thinking about not-thinking”: Neural correlates of conceptual processing during Zen meditation. PLoS ONE, 3(9). www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0003083.
There are two categories of mindfulness meditation: Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Dell.
the freedom to “respond” rather than “react”: Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness (pp. 264–273). New York: Dell.
Training Your Brain: Davidson, R. J., Kabat-Zinn, J., Schumacher, J., Rosenkranz, M., Muller, D., Santorelli, S., et al. (2003). Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65(4), 564–570.
impact of the MBSR program on immune functioning: Myers, H., & Creswell, D. (2008). Mindfulness meditation slows progression of HIV, study suggests. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 28, 2008, from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/07/080724215644. htm.
interleukin-6: Pace, T., Negi, L., Adame, D., Cole, S., Sivilli, T., Brown, T. L, Issa, M., & Raison, C. (2008). Effect of compassion meditation on neuroendocrine, innate immune and behavioral responses to psychosocial stress. Psychoneuroimmunology, doi:10.1016/j.psyneuen.2008.08.011.
parts of the brain even grow thicker: Lazar, S., Kerr, C., Wasserman, R., Gray, J., Greve, D., Treadway, M., et al. (2005). Meditation experience is associated with increased cortical thickness. NeuroReport, 16(17), 1893–1897.
What Mindfulness Is Not: Bhikkhu, T. (2008, Summer). Mindfulness defined: Street smarts for the path. Insight Journal (Barre Center for Buddhist Studies; pp. 11–15). Olendzki, A. (2008, Fall). The real practice of mindfulness. Buddhadharma: The Practitioner’s Quarterly (pp. 50–57). Siegel, R., Germer, C., & Olendzki, A. (2008). Mindfulness: What is it? Where did it come from? In F. Didonna (Ed.), Clinical handbook of mindfulness (pp. 17–35). New York: Springer.
the power of brief mindfulness exercises: Singh, N., Wahler, R., Adkins, A., & Myers, R. (2003). Soles of the feet: A mindfulness-based self-control intervention for aggression by an individual with mild mental retardation and mental illness. Research in Developmental Disabilities, 24(3), 158–169.
How can emotions not be part of that singing life: Hirshfield, J. (1997). In J. Smith (Ed.), Everyday mind (p. 46). New York: Riverhead Books.
How We Create Suffering: Mindfulness is bottom-up processing, starting with simple sensation. See Siegel, R., Germer, C., & Olendzki, A. (2009). Mindfulness: What is it? Where did it come from? In F. Didonna (Ed.), Clinical handbook of mindfulness (p. 32) New York: Springer. Hart, W. (1987). The art of living: Vipassana meditation: As taught by S. N. Goenka. San Francisco: HarperCollins. Full quote (p. 97): “A sensation appears, and liking or disliking begins. This fleeting moment, if we are unaware of it, is repeated and intensified into craving and aversion, becoming a strong emotion that eventually overpowers the conscious mind. We become caught up in the emotion, and all our better judgment is swept aside. The result is that we find ourselves engaged in unwholesome speech and action, harming ourselves and others. We create misery for ourselves, suffering now and in the future, because of one moment of blind reaction.”
Do We Have Free Will?: Libet, B. (1999). Do we have free will? In B. Libet, A. Freeman, & K. Sutherland (Eds.), The volitional brain: Towards a neuroscience of free will (pp. 47–57). Thorverton, UK: Imprint Academic.
“Noting” is an umbrella term: See Young, S. (2006, October 16). How to note and label. Retrieved September 24, 2008, from www.shinzen.org/Retreat%20Reading/How%20to%20Note%20and%20Label.pdf.
How does mindfulness meditation actually help balance our emotions?: Creswell, D., Way, B., Eisenberger, N., & Lieberman, M. (2007). Neural correlates of dispositional mindfulness during affect labeling. Psychosomatic Medicine, 69(6), 560–565.
one set of basic emotions over any other: Ortony, A., & Turner, T. J. (1990). What’s basic about basic emotions? Psychological Review, 97, 315–331.
comprehensive list of emotion words: DeRose, S. (2005, July 6). The compass DeRose guide to emotion words. Retrieved September 24, 2008, from www.derose.net/steve/resources/emotionwords/ewords.html.
Over 50% of people in the United States have experienced trauma: Kessler, R., Sonnega, A., Bromet, E., Hughes, M., & Nelson, C. (1995). Posttraumatic stress disorder in the National Comorbidity Survey. Archives of General Psychiatry, 52(12), 1048–1060.
sexually abused as children: Dube, S., Anda, R., Whitfield, C., Brown, D., Felitti, V., Dong, M., et al. (2005). Long-term consequences of childhood sexual abuse by gender of victim. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 28 (5), 430–438. Finkelhor, D. (1994). Current information on the scope and nature of child sexual abuse. The Future of Children, 4 (2), 31–53. Gorey, K., & Leslie, D. (1997). The prevalence of child sexual abuse: Integrative review adjustment for potential response and measurement biases. Child Abuse and Neglect, 21 (4), 391–398.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside: Nye, N. (1995). Kindness. In Words under the words (pp. 42–43). Portland, OR: Eighth Mountain Press.
Loving-kindness is wishing happiness for another person: Dalai Lama & Vree-land, N. (2001). An open heart: Practicing compassion in everyday life (p. 96). New York: Little, Brown.
“the heart quivers in response”: Silberman, S. (2008, January). Because life is difficult, the only choice is kindness (an interview with Sylvia Boorstein). Shambhala Sun, p. 69.
Self-Compassion Scale: Neff, K. D. (2003). Development and validation of a scale to measure self-compassion. Self and Identity, 2, 223–250. Neff, K. D. (2004). Self-compassion and psychological well-being. Constructivism in the Human Sciences, 9, 27–37.
the wish to be happy and free from suffering: Dalai Lama. (2001). An open heart: Practicing compassion in everyday life (p. 30). New York: Little, Brown. H. H. Dalai Lama wrote: “The purpose of spiritual practice is to fulfill our desire for happiness. We are all equal in wishing to be happy and to overcome our suffering, and I believe we all share the right to fulfill this aspiration.”
“tend and befriend”: Taylor, S. (2006). Tend and befriend: Biobehavioral bases of affiliation under stress. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15(6), 273–2777 Taylor, S. (2002). The tending instinct: How nurturing is essential to who we are and how we live. New York: Times Books.
the area of the brain called the insula: Blakeslee, S. (2007, February 6). A small part of the brain, and its profound effects. New York Times/Mental Health and Behavior. Retrieved September 24, 2008, from www.nytimes.com/2007/02/06/health/psychology/06brain.html?_r=1&scp = 1&sq=Blakeslee%20A%20small%20part%20of%20 the%20brain&st.
people high in empathy had more gray matter: Blakeslee, S., & Blakeslee, M. (2007, August—September). Where body and mind meet. Scientific American Mind, pp. 44–51. Critchley, H. (2005). Neural mechanisms of autonomic, affective, and cognitive integration. Journal of Comparative Neurology, 493, 154–166. Critchley, H., Wiens, S., Rotshstein, P., Ohman, A., & Dolan, R. (2004). Neural systems supporting interoceptive awareness. Nature Neuroscience, 7, 189–195.
mindfulness-based stress reduction: Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Dell.
sensations enter the rear part of the insula: Craig, A. (2003). Interoception: The sense of the physiological condition of the body. Current Opinion in Neurobiology, 13, 500–505.
increases in self-compassion were found after training: Shapiro, S., Brown, K., & Biegel, G. (2007). Teaching self-care to caregivers: Effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction on the mental health of therapists in training. Training and Education in Professional Psychology, 1(2), 105–115.
This being human is a guest house: Barks, C., & Moyne, J. (1997). The guest house. In The Essential Rumi (p. 109). San Francisco: Harper.
18 personal “schemas”: Young, J., Klosko, J., & Weishaar, M. (2003). Schema therapy: A practitioner’s guide (pp. 14–17). New York: Guilford Press.
working mindfully and compassionately with our schemas: Bennett-Goleman, T. (2001). Emotional alchemy. New York: Harmony Books.
“orchestra without a conductor”: Singer, W. (2005, November 10). Lecture presented at the Mind and Life Institute Conference, The Science and Clinical Applications of Meditation, Washington, DC.
a careful look at our mental activity: Fulton, P. R. (2008). Anatta: Self, non-self, and the therapist. In S. F. Hick & T. Bien (Eds.), Mindfulness and the therapeutic relationship (pp. 55–71). New York: Guilford Press.
“compassion directed toward oneself is humility”: Weil, S. (1998). In E. Springsted (Ed.), Selected writings (p. 143). Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books.
What Does the Research Show?: Neff, K. D. (2008). Self-compassion: Moving beyond the pitfalls of a separate self-concept. In J. Bauer & H. A. Wayment (Eds.), Transcending self-interest: Psychological explorations of the quiet ego. Washington DC: APA Books.
softens the impact of negative events in our lives: Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Allen, A. B., & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92, 887–904.
when a self-compassionate person experiences academic failure: Neff, K. D., Hseih, Y., & Dejitthirat, K. (2005). Self-compassion, achievement goals, and coping with academic failure. Self and Identity, 4, 263–287.
self-esteem is not particularly related to how others evaluate them: Neff, K. D., Kirkpatrick, K., & Rude, S. S. (2007). Self-compassion and its link to adaptive psychological functioning. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 139–154. Neff, K. D., & Vonk, R. (in press). Self-compassion versus global self-esteem: Two different ways of relating to oneself. Journal of Personality.
self-compassion isn’t related to narcissism: Webster, D., & Kruglanski, A. (1994). Individual differences in need for cognitive closure. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 1049–1062.
Dieting through Self-Compassion: Adams, C., & Leary, M. (2007). Promoting self-compassionate attitudes toward eating among restrictive and guilty eaters. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 26(10), 1120–1144.
more strongly than scores on a mindfulness scale: Neff, K. (2008, April 16). Self-compassion, mindfulness, and psychological health. Paper presented at the 6th Annual International Scientific Conference for Clinicians, Researchers, and Educators, Worcester, MA.
self-compassion predicts psychological well-being: Neff, K., Rude, S., & Kirkpatrick, K. (2007). An examination of self-compassion in relation to positive psychological functioning and personality traits. Journal of Research in Personality, 41, 908–916.
compassionate mind training: Gilbert, P., & Procter, S. (2006). Compassionate mind training for people with high shame and self-criticism: Overview and pilot study of a group therapy approach. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy, 13, 353–379.
the future of self-compassion research is promising and bright: Preliminary investigations into a wide range of clinical conditions include: Thompson, B. & Waltz, J. (2008). Self-compassion and PTSD symptom severity. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 21(6), 556–558. Johnson, D., Penn, D., Fredrickson, B., Meyer, P., Kring, A., & Brantley, M. (2009). Loving-kindness meditation to enhance recovery from negative symptoms of schizophrenia. Journal of Clinical Psychology. Published online March 6, 2009, in session 65, 1–11.
The time will come: Walcott, D. (1987). Love after love. In Derek Walcott: Collected poems, 1948–1984 (p. 328). New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Warm Hands, Warm Heart: Williams, L., & Bargh, J. (2008). Experiencing physical warmth promotes interpersonal warmth. Science, 322(5901), 606–607.
The brain comprises only 2% of our body weight: Russell, P. (1979). The brain book: Know your own mind and how to use it (p. 67). New York: Routledge.
“creative hopelessness”: Hayes, S. (2004). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and the new behavior therapies: Mindfulness, acceptance and relationship. In S. Hayes, V. Follette, & M. Linehan (Eds.), Mindfulness and acceptance: Expanding the cognitive-behavioral tradition (p. 18). New York: Guilford Press.
enjoyable activities can help: For a list of adult pleasant events, see pages 157–159 of: Linehan, M. (1993). Skills training manual for treating borderline personality disorder. New York: Guilford Press.
“wisely selfish”: Dalai Lama & Hopkins, J. (2002). How to practice: The way to a meaningful life (pp. 80–81). New York: Atria Books.
Spending Money on Others: Dunn, E., Aknin, L., & Norton, M. (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319(5870), 1687–1688.
The merciful man does himself good: New American Standard Bible. (1997). Proverbs 11:17. La Habra, CA: Foundation Publications.
On traversing all directions with the mind: Ireland, J. (1997). “Udana” and the “Itivattaka”: Two classics from the Pali Canon (p. 62). Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society.
as they love their own bodies: International Standard Version, New Testament. (1998). Ephesians 5:28. Fullerton, CA: Davidson Press.
Savoring refers to: Bryant, R., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savoring: A new model of positive experience (p. xi). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
I can wade Grief—: Dickinson, E. (1995). I can wade grief. In J. Parini (Ed.), The Columbia University anthology of American poetry (p. 250). New York: Columbia University Press.
Research has shown that the savoring of pleasant experiences: Bryant, R., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savoring: A new model of positive experience (pp. 198–215). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
Interventions for Happiness: Seligman, M., Rashid, T., & Parks, A. (2006). Positive psychotherapy. American Psychologist, 61 (8), 774–788.
What Are Positive Emotions?: Lewis, M., Haviland-Jones, J., & Barrett, L. (2008). Handbook of emotions (3rd ed.). New York: Guilford Press.
A review of over 225 published papers: Lyubomirsky, S., King, L., & Diener, E. (2005). The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success? Psychological Bulletin, 131(6), 803–855. Mobini, S., & Grant, A. (2007). Clinical implications of attentional bias in anxiety disorders: An integrative literature review. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 44, 450–462.
The Emotional Brain: Miller, C. (2008, September 22). Sad brain, happy brain. Time, pp. 51, 52, 56. Harrison, N., & Critchley, H. (2007). Affective neuroscience and psychiatry. British Journal of Psychiatry, 191, 192–194. Davidson, R. (2003). Affective neuroscience and psychophysiology: Toward a synthesis. Psychophysiology, 40, 655–665. Phan, K., Wagner, T., Taylor, S., & Liberzon, I. (2002). Functional neuro-anatomy of emotion: A meta-analysis of emotion activation studies in PET and fMRI. Neuroimage, 16 (2), 331–348.
Reptiles have rudimentary elements of the limbic system: Konner, M. (2003). The tangled wing: Biological constraints on the human spirit. New York: Macmillan.
college yearbook photographs: Harker, L., & Keltner, D. (2001). Expression of positive emotion in women’s college yearbook pictures and their relationship to personality and life outcomes across adulthood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80(1), 112–124.
Catholic nuns: Danner, D., Snowdon, D., & Friesen, W. (2001). Positive emotions in early life and longevity: Findings from the Nun Study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80(5), 804–813.
positive emotions allow us to see the big picture: Fredrickson, B. (2004). The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society, 359, 1367–1377. Wadlinger, H., & Isaacowitz, D. (2006). Positive mood broadens visual attention to positive stimuli. Motivation and Emotion, 30 (1), 87–99.
“The one you feed”: This parable has over 200 online entries and it’s origin is unclear. Retrieved September 25, 2008, from blog.beliefnet.com/jwalking/2 0 07/03/ cherokee-wisdom.html.
Research shows that expressing anger: Bushman, B. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame?: Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724–731. Lewis, W., & Bucher, A. (1992). Anger, catharsis, the reformulated frustration—aggression hypothesis, and health consequences. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 29(3), 385–392.
Between these two my life flows: Nisargadatta Maharaj, Dikshit, S., & Frydman, M. (2000). I am that: Talks with Sri Nisargadatta (p. 269). Durham, NC: Acorn Press.
Selfing and the Brain: Farb, N., Segal, Z., Mayberg, H., Beau, J., McKeon, D., Fatima, Z., & Anderson, A. (2007). Attending to the present: Mindfulness meditation reveals distinct neural modes of self-reference. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 2(4), 313–322.
overall happiness level: Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111–131.
“attachment theory”: Wallin, D. (2007). Attachment in psychotherapy. New York: Guilford Press.
We also internalize images of caregivers: Summers, F. (1994). Object relations theories and psychopathology: A comprehensive text. New York: Analytic Press/Taylor & Francis Group.
I have great faith in a seed: Thoreau, H. (1993). Faith in a seed (quote in front matter). Washington, DC: Island Press.
translation of the Pali word metta: Buddharakkhita, A. (1989/1995). Metta: The philosophy and practice of universal love. Buddhist Publication Society/Access to Insight edition. Accessed September 27, 2008, from www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/bud-dharakkhita/wheel365.html. Rhys Davids, T., & Stede, W. (1921/2001). Pali-English Dictionary (p. 540). New Delhi: Munishiram Manoharlal.
instructions for cultivating loving-kindness: Buddhaghosa, B., & Nanamoli, B. (1975). The divine abidings. In The path of purification: Visuddhimagga (pp. 321–353). Kandy, Sri Lanka: Buddhist Publication Society.
May all beings be happy and secure: From the Metta Sutta, Sutta Nipata 145–151, translated October 2, 2008, by Andrew Olendzki, Executive Director of the Barre Center for Buddhist Studies, Barre, MA.
the first person to introduce metta meditation: Salzberg, S. (1995). Lovingkind-ness: The revolutionary art of happiness. Boston: Shambhala.
against the repressive government of Myanmar: Senauke, H. (2008, Summer). Grace under pressure. Buddhadharma: The Practitioner’s Quarterly, pp. 56–63.
Compassion Meditation and the Brain: Lutz, A., Greischar, L., Rawlings, N., Richard, M., & Davidson, R. (2004). Long-term meditators self-induce highamplitude gamma synchrony during mental practice. Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, 101 (46), 16369–16373. Lutz, A., Brefczynski-Lewis, J., Johnstone, T., & Davidson, R. (2008). Regulation of the neural circuitry of emotion by compassion meditation: Effects ofmeditative expertise. PLoS ONE, 3(3): e1897. Accessed December 18, 2008, from www.plosone.org/article/info:doi/10.1371/journal.pone.0001897.
lack of self-compassion is not a unique quality of Western life: Neff, K., Pisitsungkagarn, K., & Hseih, Y. (2008). Self-compassion and self-construal in the United States, Thailand, and Taiwan. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 39, 267–285.
disciple asks the rebbe: Moyers, W., & Ketcham, K. (2006). In Broken: My story of addiction and redemption (front matter, from The politics of the brokenhearted by Parker J. Palmer). New York: Viking Press.
Loving-Kindness Builds Positive Resources: Fredrickson, B., Cohn, M., Coffey, K., Pek, J., & Finkel, S. (2008). Open hearts build lives: Positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(5), 1045–1062. McCorkle, B. (2008, August). The relationship between compassion and wisdom: Experimental observations and reflections. Paper presented at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association, Boston, MA. A pilot study of loving-kindness meditation (15 min. 4×/week for 5 weeks) shifted views of oneself and “difficult persons” from fault-finding to broader understanding of the complexities of behavior.
stay close to the wishing side: Retrieved December 17, 2007, from groups.yahoo. com/group/giftoflovingkindness.
Attend to your sensitivity: Mead, D. (2008). If you would grow to your best self. Poem retrieved September 20, 2008, from www.balancedweightmanagement.com/IfYou-WouldGrow.htm.
When Prayer Is Avoidance: Zettle, R., Hocker, T., Mick, K., Scofield, B., Petersen, C., Song, H., et al. (2005). Differential strategies in coping with pain as a function of the level of experiential avoidance. Psychological Record, 55(4), 511–524.
The bud stands for all things: Kinnell, G. (1980). Saint Francis and the sow. In W. H. Roetzheim (Ed.). (2006). The giant book of poetry (p. 484). Jamul, CA: Level4-Press.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside: Nye, N. (1995). Kindness. In Words under the words (pp. 42–43). Portland, OR: Eighth Mountain Press.
Loving-Kindness Meditation Reduces Back Pain: Carson, J., Keefe, F., Lynch, T., Carson, K., Goli, V., Fras, A., & Thorp, S. (2005). Loving-kindness meditation for chronic low back pain. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 23(3), 287–304.
So, when the shoe fits: Merton, T. (1965). The way of Chuang Tzu (p. 112). New York: New Directions.
High levels of compassion: Davidson, R., & Harrington, A. (2002). Visions of compassion: Western scientists and Tibetan Buddhists examine human nature. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press, p. 98.
“People are a problem”: Adams, D. (2002). In The ultimate hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy (p. 278). New York: Del Rey.
“Hatred corrodes the vessel in which it’s stored”: Chinese proverb. Retrieved October 1, 2008, from www.worldofquotes.com/author/Proverb/94/index.html.
Looking after oneself, one looks after others: Olendzki, A. (2005). Sedaka sutta: The bamboo acrobat. Translated from the Pali by A. Olendzki, Access to Insight. Retrieved December 14, 2008, from www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn47/sn47.019. olen.html.
connection has an ebb and a flow: Surrey, J. (2005). Relational psychotherapy, relational mindfulness. In C. Germer, R. Siegel, & P. Fulton (Eds.), Mindfulness and psychotherapy (pp. 91–112). New York: Guilford Press.
“the things you cannot see”: Carter, J. (1998). The things you cannot see. Commencement address at the University of Pennsylvania. Retrieved October 1, 2008, from www.upenn.edu/almanac/v44/n34/98gradspeeches.html. The entire quote is: “Two thousand years ago, the people of Corinth asked St. Paul this question: ‘What is the most important thing of all?’ The way they expressed it was, ‘What are the things in human life that never change?’ And Paul gave a strange answer. He said, ‘They’re the things you cannot see.’ You can see money, you can see a house, you can see your name in the paper. What are the things you cannot see that should be paramount in our lives? You can’t see justice, peace, service, humility. You can’t see forgiveness, compassion and, if you will excuse the expression, love.”
there is a cloud floating in this sheet of paper: Nhat Hanh, T. (1991). In Peace is every step (p. 95). New York: Bantam Books.
60 million Americans suffer from loneliness: Cacioppo, J., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human nature and the need for social connection. New York: Norton.
lonelier than their counterparts in Spain: Rokach, A., Moya, M., Orzeck, T., & Exposito, F. (2001). Loneliness in North America and Spain. Social Behavior and Personality, 29(5), 477–489.
the trustworthiness of others: Rahm, W., & Transue, J. (1998). Social trust and value change: The decline of social capital in American youth, 1976–1995. Political Psychology, 19 (3), 545–565.
“nomadic society on this treadmill”: DeAngelis, T. (2007, April). America: Toxic lifestyle? Monitor on Psychology, pp. 50–52.
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch: Sagan, C. (2002). In New ideas about new ideas: Insights on creativity from the world’s leading innovators (p. 268), by S. White & G. Wright. Cambridge, MA: DaCapo Press.
The building blocks for empathizing with other people: Rizzolatti, G., Sinigaglia, C., & Anderson, F. (2008). Mirrors in the brain: How our minds share actions, emotions, and experience. London: Oxford University Press. Goleman, D. (2006). Social intelligence: The new science of human relationships. New York: Bantam Books. Siegel, D. (2007). The mindful brain: Reflections and attunement in the cultivation of well-being. New York: Norton. Dobbs, D. (2006, April–May). A revealing connection. Scientific American Mind, pp. 22–27.
A human being is part of the whole called by us “universe”: Einstein, A. (1972, March 29). New York Times. In J. Austin (1999), Zen and the brain (p. 652). Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
“He’s just not that into you!”: Behrendt, G., Tuccillo, L., & Monchik, L. (2006). He’s just not that into you: The no-excuses truth to understanding guys. New York: Simon Spotlight Entertainment.
Metta Changes the Brain, Making Us More Compassionate: Davidson, R. (2007, October 20). Changing the brain by transforming the mind: The impact of compassion training on the neural systems of emotion. Paper presented at the Mind and Life Institute Conference, Investigating the Mind: Mindfulness, Compassion, and the Treatment of Depression, with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Emory University, Atlanta, GA.
Loving-Kindness toward Strangers: Hutcherson, C., Seppala, E., & Gross, J. (2008). Loving-kindness meditation increases social connectedness. Emotion, 8(5), 720–724.
Compassion Fatigue: Rothschild, B., & Rand, M. (2006). Help for the helper: The psychophysiology of compassion fatigue and vicarious trauma. New York: Norton.
People seek happiness in three different ways: Seligman, M. (2002). Authentic happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. New York: Free Press. Sirgy, M., & Wu, J. (2007, September). The pleasant life, the engaged life, and the meaningful life: What about the balanced life? Journal of Happiness Studies, DOI 10.1007/s10902–9074–1. Retrieved October 1, 2008, from www.springerlink.com/content/j0572642qk1260l4/.
acute lymphoblastic leukemia: Henderson, J. (2008, March/April). Blindsided. Psychotherapy Networker, 32 (2), 50–56.
Man always travels along precipices: Gonzales, P. (2007). In Ortega’s “The revolt of the masses” and the triumph of the new man (p. 67). New York: Algora. From Ortega, J. (1956). In The dehumanization of art and other writings on art and culture (p. 189). New York: Doubleday.
a method of overcoming suffering: Ribush, N. (Ed.). (2005). In Teachings from Tibet: Guidance from great lamas (pp. 173–174). Weston, MA: Lama Yeshe Wisdom Archive. This quote is the Dalai Lama’s paraphrase of a verse of the 8th-century sage, Shantideva:
If something can be remedied
Why be unhappy about it?
And if there is not remedy for it,
There is still no point in being unhappy.
Kelsang Gyatso, G., & Elliott, N. (2002). In Guide to the bodhisattva’s way of life: A Buddhist poem for today (p. 70, Chapter 6, verse 10). Glen Spey, NY: Tharpa.
“The intellect is a good servant but a poor master”: Surya Das, L. (2008). In Words of wisdom (p. 133). Kihei, HI: Koa Books.
Perfectionism begins in childhood: Flett, G., & Hewett, P. (2002). Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. Blatt, S. (1995). The destructiveness of perfectionism: Implications for the treatment of depression. American Psychologist, 50(12), 1003–1020. Pacht, A. (1984). Reflections on perfection. American Psychologist, 39(4), 386–390.
“trance of unworthiness”: Brach, T. (2003). Radical acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of a Buddha. New York: Bantam Dell.
work more than 50 hours a week: International Labor Organization statistics, reported by Alan Hedge, professor of design and environmental analysis at Cornell University, in DeAngelis, T. (2007, April). America: Toxic lifestyle? In Monitor on Psychology. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
the self-improvement industry is worth over $9.6 billion annually: Market-data Enterprises, Inc. (2006, September 1). The US market for self-improvement products and services. Retrieved September 20, 2008, from www.marketresearch.com/product/display. asp ?productid = 133 8280&g = 1.
cost to their health and relationships: Banks, J., Marmot, M., Oldfield, Z., & Smith, J. (2006). Disease and disadvantage in the United States and in England. Journal of the American Medical Association, 295(17), 2037–2045.
the creative dedicated minority has made the world better: King, M. (1981). In Strength to love (p. 61). Minneapolis, MN: Fortress Press.
nothing harder than the softness of indifference: Robertson, C. (Ed.). (1998). In Dictionary of quotations (p. 293). Hertfordshire, UK: Wordsworth Editions.
“Half the world knows not how the other half lives”: Smith, W., & Heseltine, J. (Eds.). (1936). In The Oxford dictionary of English proverbs (p. 128). Oxford, UK: Clarendon Press.
“Extraverts” are gregarious, generally happy people/”introverts” enjoy the inner life: Laney, M. (2002). The introvert advantage: How to thrive in an extrovert world. New York: Workman. Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. (2008, September 22). Extraversion and introversion. Retrieved September 22, 2008, from en.wikipedia. org/wiki/Extroversion.
genetic and brain differences may partially account for the differences: Tellegen, A., Lykken, D., Bouchard, T., Wilcox, K., Segal, N., & Rich, S. (1988). Personality similarity in twins reared apart and together. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 54(6), 1031–1039. Depue, R., & Collins, P. (1999). Neurobiology of the structure of personality: Dopamine, facilitation of incentive motivation, and extraversion. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 22, 491–517. Johnson, D., Wiebe, J., Gold, S., & Andreasen, N. (1999). Cerebral blood flow and personality: A positron emission tomography study. American Journal of Psychiatry, 156, 252–257.
the five mental “hindrances”: Brahmavamso, A. (1999, April). The five hindrances (Nivarana). Buddhist Society of Western Australia Newsletter. Retrieved October 1, 2008, from mail.saigon.com/~anson/ebud/ebmed051.htm.
The fastest progress … is achieved by those who are content: Brahmavamso, A. (1999, April). The five hindrances (Nivarana)/Restlessness. Buddhist Society of Western Australia Newsletter. Retrieved October 1, 2008, from mail.saigon.com/~anson/ebud/ ebmed051.htm.
mindfulness-based relapse prevention: Witkiewitz, K., Marlatt, G., & Walker, D. (2005). Mindfulness-based relapse prevention for alcohol and substance use disorders. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy: An International Quarterly, 19(3), 211–228.
spiritual self-schema therapy: Margolin, A., Schuman-Olivier, Z., Beitel, M., Arnold, R., Fulwiler, C., & Avants, S. (2007). A preliminary study of spiritual self-schema (3-S+) therapy for reducing impulsivity in HIV-positive drug users. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 63(10), 979–989. Beitel, M., Genove, M., Schuman-Olivier, Z., Arnold, R., Avants, S., & Margolin, A. (2007). Reflections by inner-city drug users on a Buddhist-based spirituality-focused therapy: A qualitative study. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 77(1), 1–9. Avants, S., & Margolin, A. (2004). Development of spiritual self-schema (3-S) therapy for the treatment of addictive and HIV risk behavior: A convergence of cognitive and Buddhist psychology. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 14 (3), 253–289. Margolin, A., Beitel, M., Schuman-Olivier, Z., & Avants, S. (2006). A controlled study of a spiritually-focused intervention for increasing motivation for HIV prevention among drug users. AIDS Education and Prevention, 18(4), 311–322.
Suffering doesn’t disappear from our life: Magid, B. (2008). In Ending the pursuit of happiness: A Zen guide (p. 70). Somerville, MA: Wisdom Publications.
leave the doctors and nurses to talk to the sickness: Brahm, A. (2005). In J. Bartok (Ed.), More daily wisdom (p. 139). Somerville, MA: Wisdom. Originally in Brahm, A. (2003). Who ordered this truckload of dung?: Inspiring stories for welcoming life’s difficulties. Somerville, MA: Wisdom.
Stages of Self-Compassion: Morgan, W. (1991). Change in meditation: A phenomenological study of Vipassana meditator’s views of progress. Dissertation Abstracts International, 51 (7-B), 3575–3576. This doctoral thesis identified four stages of meditation practice: striving, disappointment, reevaluation, and acceptance. For similar stages, see pp. 11–14 in Magid, B. (2008). Ending the pursuit of happiness: A Zen guide. Somerville, MA: Wisdom.
“All techniques are destined to fail!”: Smith, R. (2006, January 12). From a talk at the Mind and Life Institute Scientist’s Retreat at the Insight Meditation Society, Barre, MA.
a model of psychotherapy based on core values and commitments: Hayes, S., & Smith, S. (2005). Get out of your mind and into your life: The new acceptance and commitment therapy. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger. Hayes, S., Strosahl, K., & Wilson, K. (1999). Acceptance and commitment therapy: An experimental approach to behavior change. New York: Guilford Press.
“Neurons that fire together, wire together”: Hebb, D. (1949). The organization of behavior: A neuropsychological theory. New York: Bantam Books.
“What would your best friend say to you right now?”: Roth, B. (2008). Family dharma: Befriending yourself. Tricycle: The Buddhist Review. Retrieved October 1, 2008, from www.tricycle.com/web_exclusive/3698-1.html.
engage your children: Goodman, T., & Greenland, S. (2008). Mindfulness with children: Working with difficult emotions (pp. 415–429). In F. Didonna (Ed.), Clinical handbook of mindfulness. New York: Springer. The authors suggest an acronym for children, S-C-R-A-M, as an antidote to running away from difficult emotions: Stop or slow down, Calm your body, Remember to look at what’s happening, take Action with Metta (act with kindness).
“gleam of the particulars”: Nye, N. (1995). Words under the words: Selected poems (back cover). Portland, OR: Eighth Mountain Press.
tough attitude toward our emotions: A study of experienced paramedics in Austria found that well-being was correlated with having “contempt” and “tough control” over one’s feelings (“ignoring one’s own emotions to serve others … as long as helping doesn’t overly tax the helper”). Future research will probably explore the conditions (social norms, survival, need for control) and long-term outcomes of “successful nonacceptance” of emotion. Mitmansgruber, H., Beck, T., & Schussler, G. (2008). “Mindful helpers”: Experiential avoidance, meta-emotions, and emotion regulation in paramedics. Journal of Research in Personality, 42, 1358–1363.
“We can still be crazy after all these years”: Chödrön, P. (1991/2001): The wisdom of no escape and the path of loving-kindness (p. 4). Boston: Shambhala.
Emotion Words: DeRose, S. (2005, July 6). The compass DeRose guide to emotion words. Retrieved October 6, 2008, from www.derose.net/steve/resources/emotionwords/ewords.html. Reprinted by permission of Steven J. DeRose.
Giving and taking meditation is attributed to: Tharchin, S. (1999). Achieving bodhichitta: Instructions of two great lineages combined into a unique system of eleven categories (pp. 63–98). Howell, NJ: Mahayana Sutra and Tantra Press.
When the Dalai Lama was asked how he meditates: Dalai Lama & Chan, V. (2004). The wisdom of forgiveness: Intimate conversations and journeys (pp. 73–74). New York: Riverhead Books.
Centering became popular: Pennington, B. (1982). Centering Prayer: Renewing an ancient Christian prayer form. Garden City, NY: Image Books.
Light a candle and place it before you: This meditation is adapted from the light (jyoti) meditation taught by Satya Sai Baba of Puttaparthi, India. Retrieved September 15, 2008, from www.saibaba.ws/teachings/jyotimeditation.htm.
“A flower touches everyone’s heart”: Drohojowska-Philp, H. (2004). In Full bloom: The art and life of Georgia O’Keefe (p. 380). New York: Norton.
“my senses put in tune once more”: In R. Finch & J. Elder (Eds.). (1990). The Norton book of nature writing (p. 274). New York: Norton. The entire quote is: “When I go to town, my ear suffers as well as my nose: the impact of the city upon my senses is hard and dissonant; the ear is stunned, the nose is outraged, and the eye is confused. When I come back, I go to Nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in tune once more.”
compassionate guide to nature meditation: Coleman, M. (2006). Awake in the wild: Mindfulness in nature as a path of self-discovery. Novato, CA: New World Library.
one of the Dalai Lama’s favorite vows: Dalai Lama, with Piburn, S. (Ed.). (1990). The Nobel Peace Prize Lecture. In The Dalai Lama: A Policy of Kindness (p. 27). Ithaca, NY: Snow Lion.