Contents

Welcome

Dedication

Chapter 1: Rafe Is a Big, Fat Liar

Chapter 2: Don’t Mess with a Khatchadorian

Chapter 3: Horrors of an (In)Famous Brother

Chapter 4: Miller the (Mini) Killer

Chapter 5: Rhonda Helps Me, Helps, Helps Me, Rhonda

Chapter 6: The Princess Patrol!

Chapter 7: The Awesomes!

Chapter 8: We Stink!

Chapter 9: Home, Sweet Home

Chapter 10: Sweet Home Georgiabama

Chapter 11: My Mom Is My Best Friend

Chapter 12: The Princess Dress Code

Chapter 13: Not My Problem

Chapter 14: This Is Probably a Ginormous Mistake, But…

Chapter 15: I’m In!

Chapter 16: Mrs. Stricker Loves Me

Chapter 17: Mrs. Stricker Loves Me Not…

Chapter 18: “The First Detention Is Always the Hardest”—RAFE K.

Chapter 19: A Day at the School Factory

Chapter 20: Every Band Needs a Groupie

Chapter 21: Squealing on Rafe Is Fun

Chapter 22: My Mom Is My Worst Nightmare

Chapter 23: It Ain’t Easy Being Green

Chapter 24: The Princesses’ Hairstyle Rules

Chapter 25: I Wasn’t Crying About My Hair

Chapter 26: I’m Being Followed

Chapter 27: Stop, Book Thief!

Chapter 28: My Six Favorite Books This Year (So Far)

Chapter 29: The Truth About Jeanne Galletta

Chapter 30: General Rafe Torture

Chapter 31: Rafe’s Revenge

Chapter 32: Playing War

Chapter 33: Shoo Pie, Don’t Bother Me

Chapter 34: Completely Insane

Chapter 35: Grandma’s Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown

Chapter 36: “We Stink” Up the Garage Sale

Chapter 37: The Aftermath

Chapter 38: Going Bananas

Chapter 39: I Find You Offensive, Mini-Miller the Killer

Chapter 40: The Princesses

Chapter 41: Georgia’s Last Stand

Chapter 42: Rhonda Runs

Chapter 43: South Nowhere Street

Chapter 44: Smacked Down

Chapter 45: When You Seek Revenge, Dig Two Graves

Chapter 46: Revenge Served Lukewarm

Chapter 47: A Visit with the Lizard King

Chapter 48: This Deserves Two Chapters

Chapter 49: Crime and Punishment

Chapter 50: Shrinkology

Chapter 51: More Shrinkology

Chapter 52: Jeanne Galletta Is Actually a Princess

Chapter 53: Practice Doesn’t Always Make Perfect

Chapter 54: How I Became a Princess

Chapter 55: The Strange Truth

Chapter 56: Jules Explains It All

Chapter 57: I’m Not Going

Chapter 58: My First Middle-School Dance (Will I Ever Forget This Moment?) (I Have No Idea.) (Meh—I’ll Probably Forget It.)

Chapter 59: Band Gone Weird

Chapter 60: Princess Gone Wild

Chapter 61: My Mom Is… My Mom

Chapter 62: One Other Thing

Chapter 63: Cease-Fire Between Rafe and Me (This Is Real. Honest.)

Chapter 64: Cease-Fire Over, War Resumes

Chapter 65: And… I Lost the Bet

A Preview of Middle School: How I Survived Bullies, Broccoli and Snake Hill