IN THIS CHAPTER
•FINAL CHECKS
•CHOOSING YOUR MOMENT
•THE RIGHT TIME IS NOW
It’s time for some final checks before you make your leap to freedom.
Earlier I compared the feeling of freedom when you escape the alcohol trap to the exhilaration of a parachute jump. What you’re about to do will be one of the most exciting experiences of your life, so let’s make sure that everything goes to plan and run through a final checklist to make sure you’re properly prepared.
1. FEEL EAGER AND EXCITED
Your frame of mind should be, “Great! I don’t need to drink any more. I’m about to free myself from a prison of misery and degradation. I can’t wait!”
You have every reason to celebrate. You’re about to walk free from an evil trap, which has kept you imprisoned and severely disrupted your life, making you miserable, confused, frightened and angry. You’re about to regain control over your life and banish those feelings of slavery and powerlessness for good.
Very soon you will be a non-drinker. Take pride in your achievement; there are millions of drinkers in the world who wish they could be in your shoes. Soon you will rediscover the unbridled joy of feeling healthy, having nothing to hide, having time for the people you love and the things you love to do. While you were in the alcohol trap you forgot how to enjoy the genuine pleasures in life. You’re about to get that huge part of your life back.
2. DISPEL THE ILLUSIONS
We have unravelled the brainwashing and dispelled the illusions that made you believe that drinking gave you pleasure and support. You know and understand that alcohol is an addictive poison that will eventually destroy you, physically and mentally. You have seen through the myths that kept you in the drinking trap. You know that alcohol doesn’t relieve stress and anxiety, it causes them; it’s not a social lubricant, it’s a social saboteur; it doesn’t give you courage, it undermines it; and it doesn’t help you think, it impairs judgement.
3. SEE THE TRUE PICTURE
The reason you have not been able to stop drinking permanently before is not because there is something marvellous about alcohol that you can’t live without, nor is it a flaw in your personality. It’s because you followed the wrong method.
Now you understand that alcohol gives you neither pleasure nor support, and the only reason you ever thought it did was because each drink brought a little bit of relief from the craving caused by the drink before. You have been addicted to a drug that takes control away from you but still tricks you into thinking you’re in control. You have accepted that alcohol made you a slave and the only way to escape that slavery is to stop.
4. REMOVE ALL DOUBT
If you can accept items 1, 2 and 3 above, you should also be able to accept item 4. As you prepare to take your final drink and quit drinking for good, you should be in no doubt that the decision you’re taking isn’t just the right one, it’s the only one if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life as a slave to alcohol.
You understand that any lingering pangs after you stop are just the cries of the Little Monster as it breathes its last. Enjoy the feeling – it’s the feeling of freedom. Nothing can distract you now.
If you don’t feel able to accept all four points, if you have doubts about what you’re about to do, it means that you haven’t understood something and you need to go back and re-read it until you do. Don’t be downhearted. A lot of people get to this stage and feel unsure about something. It nearly always turns out to be just a small detail that they haven’t quite grasped. All it takes is to go back and read it again, and the penny drops.
To help you identify any gaps you feel need filling, we’ve supplied a prompt at the end of this chapter. Take a look at the code word, RATIONALIZED, below. Go through each item and ask yourself:
•Do I understand it?
•Do I agree with it?
•Am I following it?
If you have any doubts, re-read the relevant chapters as listed.
Stopping with Easyway is not difficult. All you need to do is follow the instructions and you will succeed. If you’re finding that hard to accept, it could be because you still believe you have to go through some sort of ordeal. Relax. Open your mind. Let go of all the misconceptions that kept you in the trap and allow your mind to embrace the truth.
If you have achieved the right frame of mind and your checklist is complete, you’re fully equipped to succeed at something that most ex-drinkers regard as the most important and significant achievement of their life. If you feel like a dog straining at the leash, eager to get on with it, that’s great. All I ask is that you finish the book.
Very soon you will undertake the ritual of your final drink. You may be wondering when would be the ideal moment? Let’s look at your options.
There are two typical occasions that tend to trigger attempts to quit, whether it’s drinking, smoking, gambling or anything else that is disrupting your life. One is a traumatic event, such as a health scare or a financial blow, the other is a “special” day, such as a birthday or New Year’s Day. I call these “meaningless days” because they actually have no bearing whatsoever on your drinking, other than providing a target date for you to make your attempt to stop. That would be fine if it helped, but meaningless days actually cause more harm than good.
New Year’s Day is the most popular of all meaningless days, being a clear marker of the end of one period and the beginning of another. It also happens to have the lowest success rate. The Christmas holidays are a time when we drink more than usual and by New Year’s Eve we’re just about ready for a break.
So we have one last binge and then, as the clock strikes midnight, we vow that we’ll give the stuff a miss. We very quickly start to feel cleansed, but the Little Monster is demanding its fix. If we’re using the wrong method, we interpret these cries as “I want a drink”, and though we may hold out to begin with, eventually the Big Monster will have its way and we find ourselves back in the trap.
Meaningless days only encourage us to go through the damaging cycle of half-hearted attempts to quit, bringing on the feeling of deprivation, followed by the sense of failure that reinforces the illusion that stopping is difficult and may be impossible. Drinkers spend their lives looking for excuses to put off “the dreaded day”. Meaningless days provide the perfect excuse to say, “I will quit, just not today.”
Then there are the days when something shakes your world and you respond by saying it’s time to sort yourself out. But these stressful times are also when your desire to drink becomes strongest, because you regard alcohol as a form of support. This is another ingenuity of the trap:
Some drinkers choose their annual holiday, thinking that they’ll be able to cope better away from the everyday stresses of work and home life and the usual temptations to drink. Others pick a time when there are no social events coming up where they will find it difficult not to drink. These approaches might work for a while, but they leave a lingering doubt: “OK, I’ve coped so far, but what about when I go back to work or that big party comes round?”
When you quit with Easyway, we encourage you to go out and handle stress and throw yourself into social occasions straight away, so that you can prove to yourself from the start that, even at times when you feared you would find it hard to cope without drinking, you’re still happy to be free.
So what is the best time to quit?
If you saw someone you love hurting themselves repeatedly, what would you say? Would you ask them to stop the next time a convenient moment arises? Or would you ask them to stop at once?
That’s what the people who love you would say if they knew about your drinking problem. You have everything you need to quit. Like an athlete on the blocks at the start of the race, you’re in peak condition to ensure success.
Think of everything you have to gain: a life free from slavery, dishonesty, misery, anger, deceit, self-loathing, impotence. No more scratching around for money; no more lying to people about what you need it for; no more hiding yourself away or trying to cover your tracks; no more feeling disappointed, guilty and weak.
In place of all that misery you can look forward to living in the light, with your head held high, enjoying open, honest relationships with the people around you, feeling in control of how you spend your time and money, and finding joy in the genuine pleasures that you enjoyed before you walked into the alcohol trap.
With so much happiness to gain and so much misery to rid yourself of, what possible reason is there to wait? It’s time for my sixth instruction:
DON’T WAIT FOR THE RIGHT TIME TO QUIT
DO IT NOW!
RREJOICE! There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain. Chapters 3, 10, 13, 15
AADVICE Ignore it if it conflicts with Easyway. Chapters 9, 10
TTIMING Do it now! Chapters 8, 16
I ILLUSIONS Alcohol gives you neither pleasure nor support. Chapters 2, 4, 6, 17
OONE DRINK Is all it takes to hook you again. Chapters 1, 3, 5, 11, 15
NNEVER Drink or even crave a drink. Chapters 3, 11, 12
AADDICTIVE PERSONALITY There’s no such thing. Chapters 3, 4, 7, 9, 10, 17
L LIFESTYLE Rediscover genuine pleasures. Chapters 4, 18
I IMMEDIATE You’re free as soon as you finish your final drink. Chapters 9, 12, 17
Z ZERO SACRIFICE There’s nothing to give up. Chapters 2, 4, 8, 10, 13, 17
EELEPHANTS Don’t try not to think about drinking. Chapter 13
DDOUBT Never doubt your decision to quit. Chapters 8, 16, 18
If you understand the nature of the trap and you’re eager and have no doubts about walking free, there’s no reason to delay. If you’re hesitating, please go through the RATIONALIZED list again or contact your nearest Allen Carr’s Easyway To Stop Drinking Clinic if you have any questions.
SUMMARY
•The ideal time to stop is now. There is no reason to wait.
•Go through the checklist and if you’re missing anything, go back and re-read the relevant chapters.