CONTENTS

On Miscellaneity; Juice-Swapping

ISSUES AND ANSWERS

The Singing-Impaired

Loss: A Guide to Economics

Reagan, Begin, and God

99 Percent Foundation

Eat That Wig, Wear That Sandwich

I Think It Was Little Richard

The Socks Problem

ANIMAL AND VEGETABLE SPIRITS

Hide the Razor on April Fools’

A Near-Score of Food Songs

Is the Pope Capitalized?

Gryll’s State

How Miss Wren Stood in de Do’

On Hearing It Averred …

More Like a Buffalo, Please

Syntax’s Tack

The New Writing Aids

Total Nudes and Bubbling Babies

LOVE AND OTHER INDELICACIES

You Make Me Feel Like …

So This Is Male Sexuality

I’d Rather Have You

Don’t Be Rambunctious around Your Grandma …

The Times: No Sh*t

To Live Is to Change

The Orgasm: A Reappraisal

The Family Jewels

Thought She Was Eve

After Pink, What?

Between Meals Song

The Wages of Fun

No Bigger than a Minute

Five Ives Gets Named

Why There Will Never Be a Great Bowling Novel

Ballooning with Slick

Merely Shot in the Head

A Bait Box of Green Jade?

Get Out There and Make Statements!

The Presidential Sports Profile

M.D. to The Greatest

Dedicated to Fair Hooker

The In-House Effect

The Teeth Festival

Thinking Black Holes Through

Weekly News Quiz

That Dog Isn’t Fifteen

Notes from the Edge Conference

Acknowledgments

About the Author