Notes

1.

 At one point his mother and brothers: see Mark 3:21.

2.

Turn the hearts of parents to: Malachi 4:6.

3.

Are you tired? Worn out?: Matthew 11:28-30, The Message.

4.

Take [their children] by the hand: Ephesians 6:4, The Message.

5.

Jesus knew this and often pushed: “For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matthew 12:50).

CHAPTER 2: A THRIVING FAMILY CARRIES OUT ITS PURPOSE
1.

Individuals who grew up in families that were less functional: Ronald M. Sabatelli and Suzanne Bartle-Haring, “Family-of-Origin Experiences and Adjustment in Married Couples,” Journal of Marriage and Family 65:1 (February 2003), 159-169, http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00159.x/abstract;jsessionid=421211F14584A764B72ED0FC205A6457.f01t01.

2.

Honor your father and mother: Exodus 20:12.

3.

Learning to tell a cohesive story about your life: Daniel L. Siegal and Mary Hartzell, Parenting from the Inside Out (New York: Tarcher, 2004), 31–52.

4.

Why have you forgotten me?: Psalm 42:9-11.

5.

God sets the lonely in families: Psalm 68:6.

6.

All things God works for the good: Romans 8:28.

7.

Live in me. Make your home in me: John 15:4, The Message.

8.

Lord, you have been our dwelling: Psalm 90:1.

9.

Loving God and neighbor: see Luke 10:27.

11.

Doing justice, loving mercy: Micah 6:8.

12.

Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God: Deuteronomy 6:4-5.

CHAPTER 3: A THRIVING FAMILY FINDS ITS RHYTHM
1.

When we repeat behaviors, neural pathways are strengthened: Cathryn M. Delude, “Brain researchers explain why old habits die hard,” MIT News, October 19, 2005, http://newsoffice.mit.edu/2005/habit.

2.

Not as unwise, but as wise: Ephesians 5:15-16.

3.

Do not merely look out for [our]: Philippians 2:4 NASB.

4.

In 1928, economist John Maynard Keynes predicted: Elizabeth Kolbert, “No Time: How Did We Get So Busy?” The New Yorker, May 26, 2014, www.newyorker.com/magazine/2014/05/26/no-time.

5.

There is a time for everything: Ecclesiastes 3:1.

6.

Count the cost: Luke 14:28.

CHAPTER 4: A THRIVING FAMILY DISCOVERS A COMMON STORY
1.

Storytelling plays a vital role in shaping moral imagination: Paul C. Vitz, “The use of stories in moral development. New psychological reasons for an old education method,” American Psychologist 45:6 (June 1990), 709–720, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2195928.

2.

Researchers often identify a shared religious core: Leo Sandy, “Healthy/Productive/Effective/Optimal Families,” http://jupiter.plymouth.edu/~lsandy/healthy_family.html.

3.

Are we human beings that have spiritual experiences: Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, The Phenomenon of Man (New York: Harper Perennial, 1955).

4.

We live in a God-bathed world: Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1998), 61.

5.

We see through a glass, darkly: 1 Corinthians 13:12 KJV.

6.

We need to “create a proper container” of concrete beliefs: Richard Rohr, Falling Upward: Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2011), 1.

7.

Jesus once described the mystery of life: see Matthew 13:44.

8.

If you call out for insight: Proverbs 2:3-5.

9.

It’s a world that reveals God’s invisible: see Romans 1:20.

10.

It’s a world where a loving, powerful: see Psalm 145:13; Romans 8:28.

12.

Fearfully and wonderfully made: Psalm 139:14.

13.

We live and move and have our being: Acts 17:28.

14.

We know and love God by learning: see John 15:9-11.

15.

We rule, for better or worse: see Genesis 1:28.

16.

We’re on a quest to learn how: see Matthew 6:10, 33.

17.

The choices we make lead us: see Deuteronomy 30:15-16.

18.

Which Scripture calls sin: see Romans 3:23.

19.

We’ve become alienated from God: see Colossians 1:21.

20.

Anger, jealousy, fear: see Colossians 1:13.

21.

God is continually inviting us: see Romans 2:4.

22.

Jesus Christ is the clearest revelation: see Hebrews 1:3.

23.

As a gift to us, God makes the way: see Ephesians 2:8-9.

24.

We learn to become all that we: see Luke 14:27.

25.

God doesn’t live in buildings: see Acts 17:24.

26.

These commandments I give you: Deuteronomy 6:6-7.

27.

Jesus once said, “Everyone who hears”: Matthew 7:24.

28.

Jesus told a story about a feast: see Luke 14:12-14.

29.

We take steps to live out the teachings of Jesus and the Scriptures together: For more about this approach to learning and spiritual formation, see Mark’s book, Practicing the Way of Jesus: Life Together in the Kingdom of Love (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2011).

CHAPTER 5: A THRIVING FAMILY FOSTERS CONNECTION
1.

How very good and pleasant: Psalm 133:1-2 NRSV.

2.

Do to others as you would: Luke 6:31.

3.

Love the Lord God with all: Luke 10:27.

4.

You shall not commit adultery: Exodus 20:14.

5.

You shall not covet became: Exodus 20:17.

6.

Rejoice with those who rejoice: Romans 12:15.

7.

Live in harmony with one another: Romans 12:16.

8.

Seek reconciliation with those: see Matthew 5:23-24.

9.

When someone wrongs you: see Matthew 18:15.

10.

Relentlessly forgive one another: see Matthew 18:21-22.

11.

Making repairs in relationships actually strengthens the bonds of intimacy between two people: Curt Thompson, MD, Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections Between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships (Carrollton, TX: Tyndale, 2010), 199.

12.

Research suggests that we remember negative comments and events far more clearly: Alina Tugend, “Praise Is Fleeting, but Brickbats We Recall,” The New York Times, March 23, 2012, www.nytimes.com/2012/03/24/your-money/why-people-remember-negative-events-more-than-positive-ones.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0.

13.

We need a source of love: see John 15:1-17.

14.

Blessed are the peacemakers: Matthew 5:9.

CHAPTER 6: A THRIVING FAMILY NURTURES GROWTH
1.

Continue to work out your salvation: Philippians 2:12-13.

2.

I urge you . . . in view of God’s: Romans 12:1-2.

3.

Train yourself to be godly: 1 Timothy 4:7.

4.

Do not let sin reign in your mortal: Romans 6:12-13.

5.

Like plants in a garden, we are made: see Luke 8:4-15.

6.

What’s important is: see Colossians 3:15.

7.

It’s estimated that one in three girls: The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, “Child Sexual Abuse Fact Sheet,” April 2009, http://nctsn.org/nctsn_assets/pdfs/caring/ChildSexualAbuseFactSheet.pdf.

CHAPTER 7: A THRIVING FAMILY CELEBRATES ABUNDANCE
1.

The average size of a breakfast bagel: US Department of Health and Human Services, We Can!: Ways to Enhance Children’s Activity & Nutrition, “Parent Tips: Portion Size Matters,” 2013, www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/educational/wecan/downloads/tip-portion-size.pdf; and Margot Adler, “Behind the Ever-Expanding American Dream House,” All Things Considered, July 4, 2006, www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5525283.

2.

The seed that fell among thorns: Luke 8:14.

3.

A person’s “life does not consist”: Luke 12:15.

4.

“Do not worry, saying”: Matthew 6:31, 33 NKJV.

5.

Jesus invited his followers to sell: Luke 12:33.

6.

If we have food and clothing: 1 Timothy 6:8.

7.

Whether well fed or hungry: Philippians 4:12.

8.

Most essential to life is our connection: see Romans 8:39.

10.

Learning to be conscious and intentional: see Matthew 6:10-11.

11.

If you currently don’t have a spending plan: For more help with finances and budgeting, see chap. 5 of our book Free: Spending Your Time and Money on What Matters Most (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2013).

12.

One billion of our brothers and sisters live on less than a dollar a day: United Nations, Resources for Speaker on Global Issues, “Hunger,” 2010, www.un.org/en/globalissues/briefingpapers/food/vitalstats.shtml.

13.

The top 20 percent of income earners: Anup Shah, “Consumption and Consumerism,” Global Issues, January 5, 2014, www.globalissues.org/issue/235/consumption-and-consumerism.

14.

If every person used resources like the average American: Global Footprint Network, “Footprint Basics,” February 27, 2015, www.footprintnetwork.org/en/index.php/GFN/page/footprint_basics_overview/.

15.

Average American consumes 195 pounds of meat each year: United States Department of Agriculture, Agriculture Fact Book, chap. 2, “Profiling Food Consumption in America,” 2000, 15, www.usda.gov/factbook/chapter2.pdf.

16.

Close to half the grain grown: “Food Choices and the Planet,” Earthsave, www.earthsave.org/environment.htm.

17.

18 percent of human-generated greenhouse gases: Bryan Walsh, “The Triple Whopper Environmental Impact of Global Meat Production,” Time, Dec. 16, 2103, http://science.time.com/2013/12/16/the-triple-whopper-environmental-impact-of-global-meat-production/.

CHAPTER 8: A THRIVING FAMILY SUPPORTS PRODUCTIVITY
1.

God created human beings: Genesis 1:27-28, The Message.

2.

 We’re learning to be good stewards: see Ephesians 2:10.

3.

To be of use in the world: For more about this approach to learning and spiritual formation, see Mark’s book, Practicing the Way of Jesus: Life Together in the Kingdom of Love (Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2011).

4.

Only 50 percent of college students: Susan Adams, “Half of College Grads Are Working Jobs That Don’t Require a Degree,” Forbes, May 28, 2013, www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/05/28/half-of-college-grads-are-working-jobs-that-dont-require-a-degree.

6.

Yes, Papa, but aren’t we called: see Jeremiah 22:16.

GROUP LEARNING GUIDE
1.

Come to me, all you who are weary: Matthew 11:28-30.

2.

Lord, you have been our dwelling place: Psalm 90: 1-6; 12-17.

3.

My heart is not proud: Psalm 131:1-2.

4.

The story of the prodigal son: see Luke 15:11-32.

5.

Jesus calms the storm: see Mark 4:35-41.

6.

The feeding of the five thousand: see Matthew 14:13-21.

7.

Love must be sincere: Romans 12:9-21.

8.

You have searched me, LORD: Psalm 139:1-18, 23-24.

9.

Now to [God] who is able: Ephesians 3:20-21.

10.

Then Jesus said to his disciples: Luke 12:22-34.

11.

When the Son of Man comes: Matthew 25:31-40.