Resistance & Clearing Ignorance
Who are you, really? If we wish to live a creative life, it is key to connect to the authentic Self. Our creative nature springs from an eternal truth within us: a center of hope, freedom, and unique expressivity. A parallel principle is at the heart of yoga: there is a true spiritual spark within each of us, whether we are aware of it or not. The ultimate role of a yoga therapist is to offer education and practices that promote self-realization and connect clients to that essential nature. The Yoga Sutras is one of the traditional texts of yoga. It is divided into four chapters, each containing numbered verses or “threads” (sutras). The Yoga Sutras teach that yoga is a process of uniting who we think we are with who we truly are. A simple way to think of it is this: when we align the “ego” (who we think we are) with the “true Self” (or soul, divine spark, inner creator—whatever makes sense to you) we are said to be in a state of yoga. Thus, harmonizing with our creative essence is a yogic path.
It’s easy to move out of harmony with the true Self. Like a trombonist who stops listening to the unified sound of the orchestra, we fall flat and off-tempo when we do not connect with the various emotional chords, rhythms, and counterpoints in our own lives. Often this is not a conscious “checking out”; rather, it is something that happens over time through a series of habitual choices. Sometimes we create dissonance on purpose by resisting action.
In this chapter, we talk about the five main obstacles or hindrances that stand between us and our creative Selves and explore the impact of the first obstacle, as well as how to remove it. We get to know “resistance” a little better and examine how it is at play, either willfully or passively, in our own lives. Finally, we look at a fundamental piece of yoga philosophy, karma, and its role in obscuring our creative essence.
We have all known what was best and not done it, even when it was something we genuinely wanted to do! Sometimes this happens because of laziness or because we are excited about doing something else instead. There are times when resistance stems from a valid concern about moving forward—be truthful about whether you are avoiding something important or reluctant for a good reason. We might also resist because action is scary or our old mental programming and habits deter us. The last example, where we are operating from an automatic place, is identified as one of the main obstacles to connecting with our creative soul.
The Obstacles or Hindrances to Creative Connection
The Yoga Sutras teach that there are five main obstacles (klesas) that stand between us and our creative soul: ignorance (avidya), egoism (asmita), attachment (raga), aversion (dvesha), and fear of death (abhinivesa). These obstacles, or hindrances to our enlightenment, occur predictably in all people and appear in myriad forms. This chapter focuses on the primary obstacle, ignorance; the next three chapters cover the other four. Consider that any barrier to creativity stems from one of these klesas.
The primary hindrance, ignorance, does not speak to one’s education. It is not a lack of information that stands between who we think we are and the true creative Self—it is the ignorance of the existence of the creative Self that hinders us. Although there is greater depth to the Vendanta philosophy than we shall cover here, you can think of it this way: if we are embodied souls and yoga is a path to identifying ourselves more with the soul and less with the body, then we must remember the existence of the soul itself. When the klesa of ignorance is at play, we have forgotten (or are ignorant of) the divine.
Exercise: Connecting with Your Spirit Self
Play this imagination game on days when, for whatever reason, you are feeling unwell. As you move through your day, completing boring, challenging, fun, or scary tasks, occasionally check in and ask yourself, “If I were a spirit, what would I do right now?”
Stepping outside of our usual frame of reference changes the entire picture. From the perspective of a spirit, you might perceive greater possibilities: “I would make up a song about listing this new inventory,” “I would connect with my loved ones,” “I would fly around the office dropping flower petals and honking like a goose … That would really make Janice laugh. Hahaha!”
From the perspective of a spirit, you may also notice things that human you doesn’t pay attention to, like the paintings in an office hallway, how “wrong” a certain situation feels, or the beauty of a small tree outside your window.
Although the answer to “If I were a spirit, what would I do right now?” might be “Exactly what I AM doing,” asking the question over time will alter the way you make big-picture decisions. All it takes to realize the creative soul is to remember to connect to the creative soul. Training ourselves to do that in everyday moments keeps us mindful, conscious, and creative the whole day through. Then, when it comes time, we shift our habits toward the creative being we truly are.
How can we connect with something we have forgotten even exists? If we get caught up in our stress, busyness, or day-to-day trials, our focus has shifted from the divine to the everyday. It does not take long before we are focusing more on bank accounts than sunsets, pop radio than composing. Finishing the grocery shopping becomes more important than cooking for an ailing neighbor. Our current society is set up to keep us focused on consumerism, which in turn distracts us from a quiet sense of true connection. Ergo, we grow ignorant of our own authentic, creative Self. Use the following exercise as one means of visioning a reconnection.
Exercise: Uniting with Your Creative Essence
Many sages who have described their enlightenment experiences speak of it happening instantaneously … after years of dedicated practice, mind you. But when it happened, it happened all at once. For the purpose of this book, we are defining this state of enlightenment as union with your creative essence.
Step 1: Imagine yourself in an enlightened state—a sense of being in exactly the right place, of abundant well-being, of all things clicking perfectly together. Perhaps you have already had an experience like this or maybe you are calling on your imagination.
Step 2: Once you have an embodied sense of union with your creative soul, express it somehow. You may decide to play its melody, dance its sense, or sculpt its representation in clay. Choosing your preferred method of expression, form something that sheds a layer of ignorance and puts you in touch with your creative soul. Hold on to this sense of your enlightened self and allow it to encourage and inspire you in everyday life. Remember, your creative Self is already enlightened—waiting to be discovered within you! This connection is all that is required to remove the obstacle of ignorance.
The loss of connection, when ignorance is at play, is often accompanied by restlessness. The unfortunate nature of this is that our tendency is to seek solace outside of ourselves. We entrench ourselves even more deeply in the habits that cut us off from freedom and joy in the first place. Even if we recall the possibility of a spiritual, creative life, we resist the steps required to reconnect us.
Let’s face it: we are excellent at self-sabotage. It might not always be intentional and it usually happens on a small scale; however, these little acts of interference, over a long period of time, lead to our despair. Imagine where you would be in life if you never procrastinated, indulged in substance use, or associated with people who bored you. It would be a different life. Don’t get me wrong; I believe that there is a place for resistance and it serves some kind of self-protective purpose. However, resistance without awareness is spiritual ignorance. We have forgotten the true Self. The following yoga pose practice gives you the chance to align your creative Self with an embodied sense.
Exercise: Yoga Posture Practice: Anti-”Ignorance”
You may follow the asana sequence laid out below or create your own movement pattern. The key point of this exercise is to use the postures to knit your body and creative Self more closely together via your chosen intention/image.
Step 1: Look at the previous exercise, Uniting with Your Creative Essence, and find a word or image that represents the experience of connecting to your creative soul. Any symbol is fine, as long as it brings you greater spiritual or self-awareness.
Step 2: From a standing position, breathe in and fill yourself with that inspiring, aligned sense of creative connection. Use the word or image as a mind-focusing tool. Imagine that you are coming into alignment with the strong, open you-that-you-are.
Step 3: Palm Tree Pose (Talasana)—On the next inhale, raise the arms overhead and lift on to the balls of your feet (tippy-toes), as if you are reaching for that symbolic word or image way up high, using your entire body to grow taller. If it is safe to do so, you may hold your breath in as you stay in the uplifted, reaching posture. On an exhale, slowly lower the arms to the sides of your torso and lower your heels as you imagine carrying all that you require down from the heavens. Repeat this intentional action of lifting the arms and heels three to ten times.
Step 4: Standing Forward Bend (Uttanasana)—After the final exhale of the previous posture, place your palms together in front of your heart, as if to seal the symbol into your soul. (Note: The heart is a suggestion. You may benefit more from sealing them into your sacrum, root, throat, head, etc. Do what seems best for you.) As you hold your hands over this sacred place, begin to bow the head in reverence. Bend the knees as necessary as you allow the rest of the spine to curl forward more and more, forward bending toward the ground. Although your abdominals may brace your spine for safety, feel surrendered in this standing forward fold. Allow your resistances and doubts to let go as the back of the neck, torso, and legs relax. You may hold the breath out or breathe a few breaths as you hold the pose before inhaling to roll upward and open your arms to the sky. Instead, you may keep the posture dynamic: rising to standing with each inhale and releasing to a forward bend with each exhale.
Step 5: Plank/Half-Plank—If it suits you, place your palms on the floor while you are performing the previous, forward-folding posture. Step your feet behind you to a plank pose, so you are on hands and toes. If someone set a plank on your calves, it would touch you all the way along your back to the back of your head—a nice, long line. Lower your knees and hips to form an inclined plane, hands beneath the shoulders. Experience the ability in your arms and through the abdominal corset. Sense softness in your heart and the place between your shoulder blades, even as the back and chest are strong; this interplay of strength and softness help you balance the word or image in your body-mind system. You may have fun with various kinds of elbow bends, neck positions, or straightening the knees to return to full plank, keeping the subtle heart area open all the while.
Step 6: Bow Pose (Dhanurasana)—From your plank or half-plank position, bend the elbows to lower yourself all the way on to your abdomen, keeping your spine engaged all the while. Now you are lying belly-down on the mat. Do not force this next posture; enjoy the opening sense in front of your body and the strength in your back.
Bend the knees to bring the heels behind you toward your seat. Reach your arms behind you, as if you were going to hold your ankles (which you may decide to do). As you inhale, lift your knees off the mat, keeping them about hip-width apart and the toes toward the sky. Roll your shoulders and chest up, too. Imagine yourself poised like an elegant archer’s bow: mobile in the open places and strong in structure. The muscles through the back of your body are engaged as your heart lifts forward and up and pelvis opens as the knees and feet rise. Take in an influx of energy from your word or image. Release by rolling the front of the spine back to the mat and setting the knees and feet down. You may flow in and out of this position on each breath cycle or hold for a few breaths before releasing, deepening your experience of a balanced, strong-and-soft connection to your creative Self.
Step 7: Seated Twist, legs extended—An optional transition from lying on your abdomen is to bend the knees and bring the hips back to the heels, keeping the chest and head on the mat as you rest in Child’s Pose (Balasana). Roll the spine, torso, and head up to a perpendicular position with your legs—now you are seated.
Extend both legs in front of you, hip distance apart. Raise your arms to shoulder height in front of you, palms cupped and facing each other as if you were holding a beach ball. Keep the back tall and the legs long and strong as you gaze into the empty space between your open palms. Imagine filling that space with the qualities your word or image represents. Plainly perceive a shift in the energy or visual sense of what is in your hands.
Flex your toes toward the sky and press through the heels and thighs to strengthen your base. Holding your vision on the space between your hands, revolve to the right. Do your best to remain square on your sit bones and across the shoulders, keeping hands at shoulder height. Breathe deeply and look into the creative space your hands hold. Stay tall through the torso.
When you are ready, return to center and twist the other way. Stay aware of your breath and continue to focus your mind, gaze, and creative sense on the space between the hands. You may notice its presence continue to amplify. You can hold the twist, allowing yourself to continually explore and adjust for comfort, conditioning, and safety, or stay dynamic as you twist from side-to-side for a couple of minutes.
When you are through with this pose, you might imagine one of your hindrances in front of you. Set what you were holding symbolically between your palms next to that hindrance. Play with how your hindrance and intention interact. You may write a scene, dance, or do a puppet show about it when you are done with this sequence—or now works, too. Trust your inspiration—it’s a beneficial habit in transforming resistance.
Step 8: Extended Side Bend—Stand up and bring your feet comfortably wide apart, arms to the sides at shoulder height. Engage the strength of your full body. As you hold power through the inside and outside of the arms and legs and the front and back of the torso, imagine imbuing that physical might with your image/intention. Body and intention are strong. Stay strong yet pliable as you side bend to the left. Arms may remain wide or you can bring the left hand down the side of your leg and the right arm alongside the ear. Open the right (top) side of your body and breathe even more of your intention into that space. Sense yourself becoming bigger and stronger, fully supported by the earth and enjoying the sense of reach. Repeat on the other side, bending right and lifting left, feeling at once open, mighty, and mobile. Remember to support the body with breath, perhaps breathing your intention as you open to it, reach for it, and hold it in your strength.
Step 9: Simply stand and feel how lovely it is to have a body, to move breath, to experience emotions, to create thoughts, and to be aware of a greater intentionality at play behind all those movements. Bask in this connection to your creative soul.
Staying Connected to the Creative Soul
Though the Yoga Sutras teach us that we are often ignorant to the existence of our true Selves, they do not tell us what to believe. Your direct experience of your creative soul, whatever it may be that enlightens you, is enough to plug you back into your true Self and wash away any resistance in the tide of inspiration.
From a yoga perspective, we are free from the klesa of ignorance when we remember that we are spiritual beings. Releasing ignorance about the existence of spiritual reality creates the possibility that there is a greater mystery at play than our puny five senses, selfish prejudices and desires, and fearful minds can fathom. Through the practice and guidance of yoga we shed our small personalities and unite with a larger, more truthful creative Self. It’s easy to succumb to resistance if we are ignorant of the great mystery, our creative essence, and the possibilities it implies. Sometimes we act as if we do not want to connect to our creative essence.
Resistance can happen because we are not ready to align with the creative soul or live with some of the implications. Relationships will change, the budget might shift, free time activities look a lot different—ultimately, these alterations are a form of trimming the waste so you are left with the truth of who you are. Even though it is normal to resist changing and living in joy and creativity, once you have a visceral sense of why and how to do it, and how amazing it feels when you do, the resistance dissolves into that goodness. For example, the creative soul remembers that most things aren’t worth stressing about; it can guide our choices and responses. In fact, creators consciously choose everything that’s happening to them—either through action, nonaction, or mistake. We are actually the creator of this whole thing called life, but most of us are not consciously creating.
It’s okay if you don’t believe that last bit. Just imagine if it were possible: if you were a creative being (yourself a creation and your soul wishing to create and express), you could potentially create every minute of every day through your life choices. Even when things happen outside of your control you choose your perspectives and responses. What if you really were the creator in your life? What if, just maybe, things could turn out the way you want them to? The following practice continues to support your mindfulness around aligning with your creative soul.
Exercise: Visualization, Music & Movement for Creative Possibilities
Just as we grow ignorant of our spiritual Self, so to do we forget the vast possibilities of our own lives. One of the many reasons it is frightening to change to a more creative life is that we have forgotten how much control we have over our decisions. It is normal for a sense of helplessness to overwhelm you as you begin to make creative changes and dream bigger dreams. You may wonder, If it were possible for me to express myself and be more creative, why wouldn’t I have done that already? The biggest two barriers would-be creatives name are the dearest of resources: time and money. Let’s play with what could happen if those material obstacles were removed. These steps help you dream a little bigger and a bit more surely.
Step 1: Answer the following question by listing as many things as you can in thirty seconds. You are welcome to repeat yourself; just keep writing as fast as you can for thirty seconds. Get set with pen and paper. Ready? If anything were possible and there was nothing to fear, starting right now, what would I do differently? [GO! Write down as much as you can without filtering yourself.]
Step 2: Put on one of your favorite, upbeat songs. From any standing position, read through the list, holding the corners of your mouth upward and showing your teeth. Let the feelings and images of these possibilities flow through you.
Step 3: Repeat your favorite song, or choose another, and perform an interpretive dance about the possibilities your mind has created. By processing your imaginings through body movement, you are helping to give them an active, joyful physical reality.
Continue to be curious about and believe in what is possible for you. I know it can be scary being responsible for our own lives. We will address personal responsibility in the next chapter. For now, let us continue to investigate why we resist our own sense of possibility and taking action on our dreams. What we believe about what is possible for us in life often stems from past programming. Each of us has our own ways of expressing or manifesting resistance. This often has to do with our predispositions, or karma.
The Role of Karma
Before getting into how your karma relates to resistance, let’s clarify some misconceptions: First off, even though karma operates on the idea that “What goes around comes around,” the wise do not seek “good karma.” Furthermore, we apply spiritual intention and pure action to avoid “bad karma.” Despite our best intentions, most karma is “mixed,” or a combination of pain and pleasure, both of which could be returned to us in kind. Because we may already have what amounts to lifetimes of karma barreling down upon us, we don’t need any more of it—not even the “good” kind.
Karma translates as “deed; action or former action that leads to results; or reaction, fruits,” from the word kri, “to do.” Karma is the act itself in addition to the outcome that arises from that act. Rather than seeking good, bad, or mixed karma, “karma neutral” is best, where we do not incur any more karma through our actions. (Some believe it is impossible for humans to be karma neutral, but we won’t get into that here.) Our resistance patterns, be they procrastination, self-doubt, or some other form of sabotage, are a repeating karma. Like all karmic imprints, we can diminish the effects by understanding and accepting the underlying pattern. The following exercise helps you identify a portion of your creative resistance and express it.
Exercise: Identify & Express Creative Resistance
Through this process, you may release some karma as you move more in alignment with the truth of your whole, creative Self. It can be fun to revisit this exercise over the years as resistance or dry spells recur. You will continue to burn through layers of karma. Even though the core issue may remain the same, you will deepen your understanding of it—and by extension your creative Self—each time.
Step 1: Draw a circle the size of a piece of paper. Inside the circle, write down a project that is important to you that you aren’t working on. This may be organizing the garage, learning how to grow rosemary, or touching up a watercolor painting—whatever you want to do but are not acting upon.
Step 2: Think of a time in your near or distant past when you did not complete a project that was important to you. This may have been something you were writing, sewing, painting … whatever. Write down that project. Repeat step 2 as many times as you can think of unfinished projects.
Step 3: As you read over those incomplete actions, notice what happens to your posture, breath, and thoughts. Exaggerate all three of these checkpoints, so that your thoughts become even more busy or self-deprecating. If your breath is quick, make it faster. If your posture is tense, tighten it even more. Exaggerate your reaction for as long as it takes to reach a peak (for example, your breath is as shallow as it can be, your body as small as you can wind it), between 20 and 120 seconds.
Step 4: Turn the paper where you recorded these unfinished tasks into a sculpture. Express via the paper what your mind, breath, and body were just expressing. Put all of that energy into the paper as you crumple, rip, fold, and play.
Step 5: Stand beside your sculpture. Imagine it is a representation of all the times you have looped around the same pattern. Allow the energy of those patterns to be sealed in that sculpture.
Step 6: On a fresh page, write down the very first time you remember resisting a task. This could be practicing how to tie your shoes, finding an item for show-and-tell, or writing a grade school report. Relax as you remember your young self knowing what needed to be done but not wanting to do it. Use your imagination to go deeply into that experience. It’s okay if you take liberties with filling in the details. Since this is exclusively your journey (you won’t accuse others of roles they may have played or need to prove what truly happened), you can use creative imagination to understand possibilities of what may have been happening within your young self. How did you feel? What did you believe, fear, or want?
Step 7: Use construction paper, tissue paper, or colored sheets in conjunction with the sheet where you wrote this memory to create another sculpture. Use your nondominant hand as much as possible to express what that child was going through.
Step 8: Return to your imagining of that first resistant experience, this time from a neutral point of view. Witness this child from the spiritual perspective of your creative Self, as we practiced earlier in the Connecting with Your Spirit Self exercise. See your child self in acceptance, compassion, and love as you watch the resistance play out. What about this situation or him/herself is this child ignorant of? What spiritual perspective soothes this situation? The answer may be a virtue, like courage or patience, or a spiritual need, like connection or support. Using the colored paper again, create a sculpture that represents the spiritual perspective soothing the resistance.
Step 9: Relate what you needed as a child to step 2, all those not-completed tasks, and what you need as an adult. Kinda similar, huh? That’s an example of karma. Now you know, every time you resist, it is like another trip around the loop. Remember your child self and reach out to that version of your being in those moments when you “don’t wanna.” Sometimes resistance is valid—we need something else in the moment.
When we resist what is truly best, we are repeating karma. For whatever reason, some emotion or belief programmed into the back of our minds interferes with our will or ability to take action. Resistant behavior, which usually looks like some form of procrastination or running away, expresses an untruth in the moment and is based on an ingrained emotional experience or limiting belief. Instead, consider using truthful expression when resistance arises. Creative action of any kind is a tool to work through and resolve past issues—burn karma—and neutralize the impacts your past is having on your present life. The following exercise gives you a way to play with that.
Exercise: Breaking the Cycle of Resistance
If you are “getting in your own way” somehow, avoiding or fearing a creative task, see how things change after you do the following:
Step 1: Situate yourself as if you were going to complete the task you are resisting. If it’s writing an essay, sit at your desk; if it’s cooking supper, place yourself in the kitchen; if it’s choosing on outfit for a big event, stand in front of your closet.
Step 2: Express your resistance however you want. Type out all of the reasons your essay is boring and doomed to fail. Sing a song to the veggies about preparing themselves. Dance and wave different outfits around the room or use them as puppets to explain why they may or may not be the best choice. Spend two to twenty minutes in any of these activities.
Step 3 (optional): Select a completely different modality and express how it felt to act out step 2. You may note what you learned or what made you curious. Acknowledge what did and did not ring true for you about the experience and what you heard yourself express. For example, “I have nothing to say for this essay” is more truthful than, “This is going to turn out terribly.” Our resistance often arises from negative core beliefs and fears. Once you put them into the open, they start to lose their power. When we are aware of the karma, or the fears and habits associated with our resistant patterns, we have the power to change our future. “Future pain can be avoided,” says the Yoga Sutras. This gives us hope that we can act to dissolve what karmas may be coming our way as a result of our past thoughts, actions, and reactions.
You may have noticed I recommended a great deal of playful expression in this chapter. One of the things that empowers resistance is a sense of seriousness, as if completing the project were the most important thing in the world. In truth, stakes are rarely that high. So you don’t get through editing your film—there will be others. If you don’t get your book to your publisher, the worst thing that happens is it doesn’t get published. You will survive these things, and so will the people counting on you.
Are those your desired outcomes? I doubt it. Is it how you want to behave in the world? Probably not. Ultimately, however, the pressure is just a story. The true opportunity, the yogis teach us, is to know ourselves better through the struggle. Thus, even if the task winds up a failure, the process of learning and growing can be a victory.
Hopefully this chapter gave you more freedom to explore the pressure you put on yourself and how your resistance to working on your projects stems from forgetting that you are a creator—you have great possibility! As you face the karma that underlies your resistance and remove the obstacles to your true Self, you live evermore in alignment with creativity. You may notice that a thread of ignorance runs through all the other hindrances, too. In the following chapter, we will explore another of the five hindrances: egoism.