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Index
Contents
Foreword: Trial by Fire: My Personal Introduction to NLP
Authors’ Note and Appreciation
Introduction: What You’ll Get Out of This Book
What Is NLP?
Two Important NLP Principles of Human Nature
What Is an NLP “Power User”?
Section 1: It’s All About You
Chapter 1: Understanding How You Think What’s going on in there?
A Taste of NLP: A Firsthand Experience
Discovery Activity: Accessing Personal Resources
You First: Understanding How You Work
“Ouch” or “Yahoo”: How We Create Our Feelings
Autopilot: The Mind’s Three Favorite Options
A Well-Oiled Machine: Body, Brain, and Mind
Different Planets: The Worlds Inside Our Minds
Discovery Activity: Discovering Your Inner World
Not Just Basic Cable: “Representational Modalities”
Mental Sticky Notes: The Power of “Anchors”
Discovery Activity: Creating a Personal Anchor
Anchors at Work: Intentional and Unintentional Anchors
So What? How You Can Use This Information
An Easy Ride: How This Book Is Structured
Chapter 2: Managing Your Mind Who’s driving the bus?
Where Do You Want to Go? Outcome Frames
Discovery Activity: Creating a Well-Formed Outcome
Being of Two Minds: Congruence/Incongruence
Discovery Activity: Recognizing Incongruence
Are You In or Out? Being Associated or Disassociated
Subtle Distinctions That Matter: Sub-Modalities
Discovery Activity: Tinkering with Visual Distinctions
What’s Your Day Going to Be Like? Sub-Modalities and Your Emotional State
The Way You Do the Things You Do: Understanding Motivation
Discovery Activity: Exploring Roots of Procrastination
That Damn Report: An Example of Procrastination
Two for the Road: Tips for Uncovering the Roots of Procrastination
Discovery Activity: Reducing Internal Resistance
Been Down Too Long? The Power of Inner Voices and the “Auditory Swish”
Discovery Activity: Removing Negative Auditory Cues
Emotions as Passengers, Not Drivers: Choosing and Changing Your State
Depression: Auditory Cues That Hold the Story
Shaping Your Experience: The Habit of Fine-Tuning Sub-Modalities
Chapter 3: Living in “The Zone” Whoa, is my brake on?
High or Low? How Expectations Impact Performance
Discovery Activity: Exploring Your Expectations
In the Mind’s Eye: The Power of Mental Rehearsal
In Sync: The Link Between Physiology and Energy
Roadblock Removal: “Eye Movement Integration”
Discovery Activity: Decreasing Resistance or Trauma
Not Just Pollyanna: How Energy, Enthusiasm, and Optimism Act as Drivers
Discovery Activity: Understanding Your Motivation
Discovery Activity: Amping Up Your Confidence
Mission Critical: Motivation Tips from Navy SEALs Training
Messing with Hecklers: How to Silence Critical Inner Voices
More Than Maintenance: How to Increase Energy and Productivity
Discovery Activity: Strengthening Your Anchor
Chapter 4: Upgrading Your Self-Concept How’d things get this way?
Life Vest First: How to Prevent and Reduce Stress
A Look in the Mirror: Who You Are Today and How You Got to Be This Way
Clues to Beliefs: The Deep Structure of Language and the Meta Model
Like That: How Our Language and Behavior Reveal Individual Preferences (Meta-Programs and Predicates)
Today’s You and the Desired You: The Impact of Self-Concept
Discovery Activity: Identifying Something You Like About Yourself
Discovery Activity: Adding Elements to Your Self-Concept
The Archaeological Dig: An Example of Self-Concept Work
Ripple Effects: How One Change Often Creates More Change
Section 2: It’s All About Relationship
Chapter 5: Making Comfortable Connections How come we don’t connect?
Internal Systems: How You Work Is Similar to How Others Work
Inside Out: How to Adjust Your Inner World to Be Better Company
Discovery Activity: Identifying Ways That You’re Good Company
Friction on the Line? How the Three Parts of Your Brain Work Together
Instant Processing: What Your Filters Process First
Discovery Activity: Identifying Ways Other People Are Good Company
An Inside Job: How to Help Other People Feel Safe
Not Just Imitation: How Mirroring and Matching Help You Make Connections
A Focus on Them, Not You: How to Create a Sense of Being Felt
More Choice Is Better: How Being Versatile Helps You Connect
The Bird’s-Eye View: A High-Level Summary
Chapter 6: More Than “Mind Reading” Other People What’s going on inside them for that to be true?
A $500,000 Example: Communication in All Three Channels
Powerful Telegraphing: What Your Nonverbals Communicate
Traffic Signals: How Other People’s Nonverbals Provide Direction
Discovery Activity: Recalling Nonverbals of a Positive Experience
Discovery Activity: Identifying Nonverbals from an Uncomfortable Situation
Galaxies Away: Why It’s Important to Step into Another’s World
The Grand Canyon: How Missing Details Create Gaps in Understanding
Zooming In and Out: Tips to Understanding Someone Else’s World
Detective Mode: How Questions Fill in Gaps and Facilitate Understanding
Different Journeys: How Beliefs Distinguish Our Inner Worlds
Discovery Activity: Identifying Your Beliefs
Discovery Activity: Exploring a Personal Belief
Wants and Needs: How Exploring Beliefs Uncovers Motivations and Meta-Outcomes
Beyond Belief: How Language Reveals Other Personal Preferences
A New Approach: How to Apply Your Understanding of Nonverbal Behavior, Beliefs, and Personal Preferences to Interactions with Others
Discovery Activity: Exploring Someone’s Inner World
Chapter 7: Making Your Point Easily How can I help people understand what I mean?
Chronicle: High Points of the Journey So Far
Physical Connection: How Touch Enhances Connections and Impact
Oxygen Mask First: How Managing Your Inner State Keeps the Focus on Others
Rules of the Road: Quick Tips to Navigate Uncharted Territory
The Local Language: How to Communicate According to Someone Else’s Preferences
Discovery Activity: Using Predicates of Preferred Channels
A New View: How the Process of Reframing Expands Possibilities
Super-Glue Removal: How to Loosen and “Unstick” Beliefs
It’s Kind of Like That: How Metaphors and Stories Support Shifts
A Book and Its Cover: How Appearance and Environment Are Clues to Other Worlds
Toxic Relationships: How Difficult People Tax Your Personal Resources
Connecting the Dots: Linking Key Concepts and Skills to Opportunities
Discovery Activity: Applying Your Discoveries About Someone Else’s World
Chapter 8: Creatively Collaborating and Resolving Conflicts How do we get from here to there?
An Embarrassing Example
Moving in the Same Direction: Effective Collaboration Using the Well-Formed Outcome Model
Creativity: How Imagination Expands Possibilities
Expert Advice: The Disney Creativity Strategy
Innovation: How to Use the Disney Strategy with Groups
Discovery Activity: Applying the Disney Strategy to One of Your Opportunities
Up Against the Wall: How the “Conflict Integration Process” Supports Creative Problem Solving
Discovery Activity: Identifying One of Your Conflicts
Internal Battles: How to Apply the “Conflict Integration Process” to Inner Conflicts
Discovery Activity: Applying the “Conflict Integration Process” to One of Your Opportunities
Discovery Activity: Examining Ways You Get Stuck or Make Things Harder
Different Strategies? What “Conflict Integration” and Negotiation Have in Common
Powerful Emotions: How to Facilitate Discussions with People Who Are Upset
The Unexpected Strategy: An Approach to Consider When You’re Upset
Chapter 9: Maintaining Your Momentum with NLP What’s next?
Journey Highlights: What You Learned
Next Steps: Options for Additional Development
21-Day Guide: The Next Steps to Creating the Person You Want to Be
Afterword: A Lasting Legacy
Common NLP Terms
References
Acknowledgments
Index
About the Authors
Back Ad
Praise
Copyright
About the Publisher
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