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Index
TITLE PAGE GODDAMNED FREAKY MONSTERS Me, Myself, and I Conversation With A Madman A Shock To The System The Devil You Know Blood Bath The Accidental Tourist The Eyes Have It While You Were Sleeping... Escape From Alcatraz Head Cheese Sightseeing A Problem With Customs Upgraded Seating Pit Stop A Hell Of A Souvenir Homecoming No Rest For The Wicked A Good DM Is A Terrible Thing To Waste Showdown In Newark Early Morning Commute Back In The Saddle Again Chick Fight I’m Walking On Sunshine Hail To The King, Baby Elevator Music Tactical Retreat Calling In The Calvary Class Reunion Top Headlines For The Day Stake Out White Lies The Cult Of Ib Sunset Is Never Far Away A Bird In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Ambush Headquarters Is Where The Heart Is It Sure Beats Driving A Slight Detour Forewarned Is Four Armed Giant Furry People Eaters The Long Walk Home The Office Park Of Ultimate Doom The Gauntlet Meet The New Boss Title Fight Dead Office Drones Walking Applying For Dismembership The Aftermath Of An Ass-Kicking The Earth-Shattering Epilogue HALF A PRAYER Part 1 When A Stranger Comes Knocking Send Me An Angel Housewarming Gift Shot Down Again Beam Me Up, Scotty The New Digs All Settled In The Newest Member Of The Team Training Day A Rock Monster And A Hard Place What Mother Wants, Mother Gets Panic At The Strip Club Damage Control Bloody Good Smoothies Going Down Journey Into Darkness The Fellowship Of The Muck The Well Of Assholes Tale Of The Terrors X Marks The Spot A Trip To The Zoo Small World, Isn’t It? Hairy Bedfellows Break Out The Boom Boom Room When The Walls Fell Onward And Upward The Enemy Of My Enemy Is Still A Dickhead Part 2 The Long Drive The Men Under The Mountain The Gathering Bring Out Your Dead Wizard Duel Unholy Rollers The Defense Rests Dropping A Monologue Two Ships Passing In The Night Ravenous The Trial Of The Century The Peanut Gallery The Chinese Connection Demilitarized Zone The War Of The Three Factions General Tso Tastes Like Chicken Five Against The World That Which Is Dead Can Indeed Die Deck The Halls Old Boyfriends Die Hard Quit Yer Bitchin And Get In The Kitchen The Cleanup Crew The Magically Mystifying Epilogue THE WICKED DEAD Prologue Part 1 Bartender In Training Welcome To Crazy Town Busy Little Bees Buzzing Around The Mean Streets Twenty Sides Of Terror The Douchetastic Four Hunkering Down Wrath Of The Defilers Meet And Greet Should I Stay Or Should I Go? The Bitching Hour The Telephone Game Vamanos, Muchachos A Rare Blood Type Indeed Dreamscape The Call Of The Wild Deal With The Devil Fire And Brimstone Like Oil In Holy Water Uneasy Alliances The First Step Of Many The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Skull Head Games War Party Catching Up Down On The Farm The Long Kiss Goodbye Part 2 Raising The Stakes Score Of A Lifetime Shit Storm A Turd In The Hand... Prisoners Of War The Last To Be First The Rebel Alliance First To Escape Not You Again! Pound Puppies The Monster Squad War Of The Gargantuas Midnight Tryst Pillow Walk Gee, Didn’t See That Coming Sight Seeing Doctor’s Note Pandemonium Out Of The Frying Pan The Big Bad One Shall Fall Greasy Kid Stuff A Small Problem Infiltration Undead Alive Class Reunion That Sinking Feeling The Choice The Sacrifices We Make All Hell Breaks Loose To Destroy The Destroyer Freewill Versus Freewill Face Off Sting Like A Bee The Cleanup Crew Unexpected Company First Base The End Days The Spine Crushing Epilogue THE LAST COVEN Part 1 Giving To Those In Need Dickheads Anonymous Back To The Big Apple Home Again, Home Again Did Someone Leave The Oven On? Down Time In The Dumps A Sunny Disposition Impish Interrogation Rise Of The Day Spawn Pint-Sized Problems You Only Hurt The Ones... Twat Waffles Two Mules For Sister Sheila Of Fists And Feet War And Piece Don’t Use All The Hot Water Maximum Adventure The Nose Knows Who Watches The Watchers? Northern Exposure Geneva Convention 2.0 C Is For Cookie The Negotiating Table A Piece Of Peace Take Two The Brown Wedding Shotgun Honeymoon Hitchhiker’s Guide To Canada Blade Of Chaos A Walk In The Woods Part 2 Ejecting The Warp Core Take Your Medicine The Hidden Menace Shifting Out Of Neutral Meet The New Cult, Same As The Old Cult Wizard Sorting Baked Beans And Brownstones Paranoia Will Destroy Ya Thinning The Herd Assassins In Armani Dwarf Tossing A Compelling Argument Political Asylum Hairy Palm And His Five Sisters Defective Defection Wood Versus Wood Drachawk Down Eyeballing The Competition Stomping On The Feet Open Mouth Insert Foot The Gathering Storm Watching The World Burn Counterintuitive Attack Part 3 Altared State Holy Molars Busting Those Bunkers Rabbit Up My Sleeve Give Me Liberty... Shut Your Hole Below Meeting Up With Old Friends In Through The Backdoor The Belly Of The Beast Well, That Was Easy The New Breed Seeing The Sights First In Line Decker The Halls Origin Of A Species Monologuing For Fun And Profit The House Of Pain Magic Circle Of Life Crotch Fruit The Vip Room The More The Merrier Scary Monster All-Out Attack Bringing A Wand To A Fistfight Iconic Defeat The Big Boys With The Big Toys Playing To A Packed House Pit Stop Total Fucking Chaos First To Die Head Games Showdown At The Earth’s Core Dueling Beat Downs Props To The Prophecy The Main Event This Is How The World Ends Dust In The Wind The Hate Mail Inducing Epilogue AUTHOR’S NOTE ABOUT THE AUTHOR THE TROUBLE WITH TOM THE ROAD TO ARMAGEDDON Christy Gan Ed James (The Wanderer) Colin Alexander
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