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Index
Publisher's Note Dedication Acknowledgments In the Narrow Pewter Space Have Faith Case in Point Why, Then As I Wind Up A Tribute I’m Not Quite As Is Usual The Defiance Hi-Ho-the-Merry-O The Weight of His Sigh Which Would Be Fucking Great He Tries Another Tack For a Counselor It’s a Total Lie Doesn’t Matter First Things First Guess I’m Eating Solo Okay, I Know A Sudden Uncomfortable Tug Great The Tips of My Ears Toward the End And So Does Sheep I’d Try the Ol’ Maintain, Matt, Maintain Dismissed Didn’t Realize If I Wanted Now Come Catcalls Both Girls Sputter But My Lips Are Sealed Best of All Hasn’t Stopped Me Yet Where It Becomes Clear They’re at the Table Words Like My Eyes Stop There I Turn Away I Kick Off My Shoes Beyond the Door But Always That Day My First Reaction Aliens Mated with Monkeys? Luke Agreed Stench-Free She Takes a Deep Drag Those Six Words Eight Thousand Freak Lives In She Follows Me True Enough Well, Luke, Plus Speaking of Kicking Ass She Takes My Hand We Are Quiet Enough! There’s a Lot More I Want to Deny It If There’s Anything Worse Well, Not Quite Alone I Trudge to My Room It Would Be Nice That’s Assuming But What I Remember Most Once It Got Dark It Sure Freaked Us Out Then No One Laughed So Much No Such Luck I Almost Quit Reading There Two Cups They Say a Solid Offense We Settle on Both Except I Should Drop It We’ve Been Going Out I Half Expect a Tirade Loving This Girl In Addition From Satan to Christ Kind Of? No Escape Acting Like a Man Is Overrated She Walks Two Steps Infuriating! The Person I Give Hayden’s Temperature Buzzed but Anxious I Crash Late No! Please, No! She Leaves the Sentence Unfinished Clatter and Cursing Bam! His Last Sentiment His Grip Loosens I Have No Idea It’s Over So Much for Her Smile This Time Can’t Sit Around Here It Started Dad’s Motive Sunday on a Holiday Weekend I Use Two Four O’Clock She Crosses the Street We Are a Half Block Away If She Gushed Any More And, Worse Too Much Valid Question I Spend the Next Thirty-Six Hours Arm Still Firmly Wrapped Don’t Look at Her My Therapist’s Lair At 4:16 Martha Reminds Me Cathartic? See, This Is Why I Hate Therapy What List? Tongue Slips I’m Panting Anxiety The Soft Chime Beyond the Inner Sanctum Door Decent Session I Almost Call Martha Myself What Would Martha Say? Which, to a Point Sage Advice I Purposely Miss He Claimed Dad Refused I Get to the Game The Varsity Game For the Moment Booze The Slur Factor That Was His Fortress I Watch Him Now Apparently Not Outside Seriously Stung Want? Wait Oh Man I Drive Home I Walk Through the Door Marginally Satisfied Forgive By Friday Zero Communication Now, That Was Communication Skipping Tonight’s Game I Spend Most of the Afternoon The Guilt Too Late to Worry I Expect Her to Say And Just in Case Alexa and I Kiss Again I’ve Only Been With Heart Shattering Am I Confused? I Am Pulled from Sleep Uncharacteristically It’s the Best Shower Dad’s Still Asleep Dad and I Rarely Talk We Both Sip Our Coffee Makes Sense He Doesn’t Respond Immediately Blame One Last Thing Easier I Can’t Remember My Personal Corner of the World Hold On It’s Strange What Have I Got to Lose? As I See It The Door Slams But How Far Is Too Far? Fifty-Nine Minutes Later I Hope She Answers No Way Around I Don’t See Hayden’s Temper Often Hayden Sniffles She’s Trading Me In Insane Unconvinced Not Exactly a Lie This Kiss Sunday Morning Holy Hell I Retreat Only Fitting, Then Okay, What Now? No! No! No! Oh, Why Not? I Could Share Those Things Her Forthrightness She Sucks in a Serious Breath Killed? The Sun Showers A Sudden Outburst As If to Prove My Point He Slaps Away The Dogs Grin, Exposing Fangs Today, However The Invitation The Joke Falls a Little Flat His Answer On That Semi-Creepy Note Before We Hit the Road Alexa’s Stuff I Shower Off Nightmares Despite the Prozac He Made Me Promise School Was Almost Out I Shake Off Judah the Great and Powerful Arbitrarily The Female-to-Male Ratio I Sit Listening That Quiets Him There’s a Big Addendum The Bell Rings I Leave Her I Fake My Way Tonight, It’s My Own Bed The Harder I Reach I Turn on My Right Side As the Meds Kick In Plunging Toward Sleep Me, Dismissing I Ascend I Think It Over She Chooses the Latter The Trail Her Response Quick! Damage Control Hayden Melts I Step Away Nothing But the Truth Traitor We Hit Our Reservation I Might Back Off I Catch Her Whoa Our Hands Unlace And So Does She I Break Out Intentional Strikes Now She Is Sobbing I Disconnect Everyone Has a Breaking Point Dad Coaxes Me Sounds Like a Great Reason I Arrive Home First But What? One More Pill A Crash of Cymbals It’s Dark I Tell Him to Hang On Three Hours Till Dawn Somehow I Avoided The Sky Pales I Consider Where Even to Me My Omelette Arrives I Arrive at the Range The Two Go Off I Guess I’m All Right He’s So Rational The Glock I Trade Him At Least, Until Everyone Has Vacated In Simultaneous Measure I Decline No Groceries She Asks It’s a Bittersweet Ending It’s the Most We Say I Do Keep And So We Arrive So, Yeah Scary, and Anyway By Saturday Can’t Stay Here Turns Out File That Under It’s Been Almost a Week It’s Close to Six Adrenaline Apparently My Good Day She Opens Her Mouth About the Time Tension Bleeds Slipping into Sleep The Alarm On the Way Over It’s a Slow Afternoon Pop? When I Get Home Dad Tells Me to Stop Monday Morning I Know That DeLucca, Raging Jerk I Catch Her at Lunch Good Luck with That She Gets the Last Word He Says In American Culture Let the Discussion Begin After School That’s It? I Haven’t Managed It I Lock Myself In Finally, I Type When I Finish It’s a Two Pills to Sleep When I Turn In As She Reads Gasps and Whistles When Class Breaks Up The Dude Is Relentless Alexa Catches Up Something She Needs to Tell Me? She Tells Me I Reach Across We Spend the Next Week Alexa and I Do Try We Arrive at Eight Strange Holly Winds Up I Love You The Next Morning He Leaves Me The Parental Element Mom Has Come As I Help Load She Actually Winks I Promise Getting Ready for Bed By Thursday Somewhere in the House Someone Knocks Not Serious Lorelei Him She Chews on That The Buzz Intensifies Dislike Swells Dad Meets Us I Follow Them Waiting Sucks Three Hours In I Nudge Before I Go on Home Priorities I’m Almost Surprised When We Get to the House Adrift A Strange Slant of Light I Decline the Eggs As We Pass Too Bad It Takes In the Short Span of Time She Did When She’s Gone All That Talking The Whisper of a Skirt There’s Nobody Home We Talk In True OCD Fashion An Intelligent Person He’s Wearing a Vest Where Am I? At Least, I Don’t Think Time Has No Meaning And I Ascend Stunned After But Maybe Normal Is Overrated Best of All Near As I Can Tell I’ve Thought and Thought Author’s Note Copyright
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