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Index
COVER PAGE
TITLE PAGE
COPYRIGHT PAGE
STEP 1: SORT OF KILL YOUR BEST FRIEND'S GOLDFISH WHILE BELIEVING YOU'RE ON A REALITY TV SHOW
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
CHAPTER 5
STEP 2: FIND OUT YOU'RE FROM ANOTHER PLANET
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
STEP 3: LEARN THAT YOUR DOG CAN TALK
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
STEP 4: DEAL WITH YOUR WHOLE LIFE BEING A LIE
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
CHAPTER 15
STEP 5: GET INVADED BY BIG BLACK SLUGS
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
STEP 6: SAVE YOUR DOG FROM ALIENS
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
STEP 7: ADMIT YOUR SISTER MIGHT HAVE BEEN RIGHT ALL ALONG
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
STEP 8: EAT THE BEST (AND PROBABLY THE LAST) MEAL OF YOUR LIFE
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
STEP 9: TURN INTO A WALKING, TALKING, TICKING TIME BOMB
CHAPTER 26
STEP 10: PANIC!
CHAPTER 27
CHAPTER 28
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
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