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Index
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A MESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR
INTRODUCTION
PART I * Advice on Life, Death, and Everything in Between
UNFAIR GAME
ARRIVEDERCI MELANOMA
A POCKET GUIDE TO MULLETS
THE FIVE MEXICAN GENERALS PLAN
BRING HIM ON
EPILOGUE
STRANGE BEDFELLOWS
I DON'T
ZERO TO SIXTY
TENNIS ANYONE?
SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES
PART II * My Personal Heroes
THE NAVIGATOR
DON IMUS DIED FOR OUR SINS
ANIMAL HEROES
TANGLED UP IN BOB
POLY-TICKS
TWO JACKS
HERO ANAGRAMS
ODE TO BILLY JOE
THE BACK OF THE BUS
LOTTIE'S LOVE
PART III * Advice on Writing
KILLING ME SOFTLY
FICTIONAL CHARACTERS KILLED OFF BY THEIR CREATORS
TALENT
STRANGE TIMES TO BE A JEW: NOTES ON MICHAEL CHABON'S LATEST NOVEL
DON'T FORGET
A TRIBUTE TO ME
WHAT WOULD KINKY READ?
QUESTIONS FROM A BRITISH JOURNALIST-1999
DOES NOT COMPUTE
PART IV * Advice on Going on a Journey
TEXAS FOR DUMMIES
NEVER TRAVEL WITH AN ADULT CHILD
HOW TO DELIVER THE PERFECT AIR KISS
LET SAIGONS BE BYGONES
WILD MAN FROM BORNEO
MAD COWBOY DISEASE
CLIFF HANGER
ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON IN SAMOA
WATCH WHAT YOU SING
PART V * Advice on Coming Home
A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC
GOD'S OWN COWBOYS
SHOSHONE THE MAGIC PONY
THE HUMMINGBIRD MAN
HOW TO HANDLE A NONSTOP TALKER IN A POST-9/11 WORLD
SOCIAL STUDIES
GETTIN' MY GOAT
CHANGE, PARDNERS
COMING OF AGE IN TEXAS
ROMEO AND JULIET OF MEDINA
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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