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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Also by Chris Rylander
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Chapter 1: Captain Smeltfeet’s Left Hand Squawks Like a Parrot
Chapter 2: I Somehow Catch Three Fish at the Same Time (Without Using My Fist!)
Chapter 3: Here Sinks Greggdroule Stormbelly: A Pretty Lousy Fisherman, but a Pretty Epic Failure
Chapter 4: The Thanksgiving Day Parade Kraken
Chapter 5: I Turn Uda Bay into the World’s Largest Jacuzzi
Chapter 6: Грэг Воняет Как Конский Зад
Chapter 7: Two Deaths Cannot Happen, but One Is Inevitable
Chapter 8: My Stomach Helps My Small Intestine Move Some Boxes
Chapter 9: The Way Sunlight Filters Through a Thin and Feathery Mustache Can Be So Beautiful
Chapter 10: Giant Talking Spiders, Trolls in Loincloths, and Sarcastic Centaurs Are Every Bit as Scary as They Sound, Even as a Joke
Chapter 11: The Sentry Throw Their Weapons into a Lake
Chapter 12: The Shadowy Forest of Endless Death and Destruction
Chapter 13: A Pack of Squirrels Eat a Reindeer
Chapter 14: Glam-Smash Boulders Undergo Some Modifications
Chapter 15: My First Hole in One
Chapter 16: Rock Troll Jokes Are About as Unfunny as a Punch to the Eye
Chapter 17: The Long-Lost Estoc of Galdadroona from the Legend of Sir Darormir Beardsbane
Chapter 18: Blob Blog Globbenblog
Chapter 19: The Time Sir Wylymot the Agile Got Flattened Like a Bug
Chapter 20: Never Wake a Sleeping Troll
Chapter 21: Grangahn Og Chongo Glurponderin Ih Ah Ggg Grongob!
Chapter 22: Blob: The Steak Sauce
Chapter 23: A Tasty Sack of Dwarf Brand Pretzels™
Chapter 24: A Couple of Well-Done, Rare Steak Puns Spoken at Medium Volume
Chapter 25: Bigfoot Is Not Only Real but a Total Kleptomaniac
Chapter 26: John the Riddler with Tiny Feet
Chapter 27: A Sublime Cup of Tea Threatens the Entire Mission
Chapter 28: The Rain and Blob Show
Chapter 29: Glam, Ari, Tiki, and I Bury Ourselves in Sand
Chapter 30: Riddle Me This (For Real This Time)
Chapter 31: Is It the Red Sea or a Red Sea?
Chapter 32: The Moment You Find Out I Won’t Die, at Least Not Until the Very End (Though I Hope You Already Knew That)
Chapter 33: We Find Out Our Existence Is Insignificant and Meaningless and Nothing Really Matters Anyway
Chapter 34: What Do Sir Neel the Jackal, Nobleman Rainaldus the Honest, and Ranellewellenar Lightmaster Have in Common?
Chapter 35: The True Tale of Ranellewellenar Lightmaster: Guardian of the Faranlegt Amulet of Sahar
Chapter 36: I Find Out That Failing Brilliantly Is Not a Dwarven Thing at All, but Rather Something Purely Unique to Greggdroule Stormbelly
Chapter 37: One of the Real Heroes of This Story Does Yet Another Quietly Heroic Thing (And No, of Course It’s Not Me)
Chapter 38: I Make Edwin the Most Powerful Person on the Planet
Chapter 39: There Are No Free Movies When Traveling by Magic
Chapter 40: It All Checks Out: I’m About to Get Eaten Alive by Slimy Sea People
Chapter 41: A Massive Larenuf Is Held to Celebrate the Resurrection of the Bloodletter
Chapter 42: It’s That Time in the Story Where I Ask You to Play Some Music (Yes, Really)
Chapter 43: Never Tell Me the Odds
Chapter 44: Non-Goodbye Goodbyes
Chapter 45: A Final Moment with My Former Best Friend
Chapter 46: The Battle of Naperville
Chapter 47: The Second Battle of Naperville
Chapter 48: The End of the World? (Or at Least of This Story?)
Epilogue: Because Stories Like This Always Have an Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
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