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Index
Cover
Title
Contents
I. Let us Now Praise Famous Magical Negroes
I Feel Most Colored When I Am Thrown Against a Sharp White Background
Magical Negro #217: Diana Ross Finishing a Rib in Alabama, 1990s
Everything Will Be Taken Away
Magical Negro #3: The Strong Black Woman
The High Priestess of Soul’s Sunday Morning Visit to the Wall of Respect
And Cold Sunset
Nancy Meyers and My Dream of Whiteness
Whites Only
Magical Negro #607: Gladys Knight on the 200th Episode of The Jeffersons
Magical Negro #84: The Black Body
Sammy Davis Jr.
Let’s Get Some Better Angels at This Party
The History of Black People
II. Field Negro Field Notes
Two White Girls in the African Braid Shop on Marcy and Fulton
“Now More Than Ever”
Black Women for Beginners Pt. 1
When a Man I Love Jerks Off in My Bed next to Me and Falls Asleep
Who Were Frederick Douglass’s Cousins, and Other Quotidian Black History Facts That I Wish I Learned in School
A Brief History of the Present
Ode to Fried Chicken’s Guest Appearance on Scandal
Magical Negro #1: Jesus Christ
Matt
“Lilac Wine” by Eartha Kitt vs. “Lilac Wine” by Jeff Buckley
What I Am
If you are over staying woke
Who Speaks for the Earth?
Black Ego (Original Soundtrack)
I Told My Therapist i Tried to Meditate and She Laughed
“Parker’s Mood” by Charlie Parker
III. Popular Negro Punchlines
Great America
Magical Negro #89: Michael Jackson in Blackface on a Date with Tatum O’Neal, 1970s
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
My Sister Says White Supremacy Is Turning Her Crazy
We Are the House That Holds the Table at Which Yes We Will Happily Take a Goddamn Seat
Why the Jive Bird Sings
Magical Negro #80: Brooklyn
The Black Saint & the Sinner Lady & the Dead & the Truth
Preface to a Twenty Volume Joke Book
Toward a New Theory of Negro Propaganda
It was Summer now and the Colored People Came out into the Sunshine
Acknowledgements
Praise for Morgan Parker
About the Author
Copyright
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