[Free 01] • Free-Range Chickens by Rich, Simon -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Page Title Page Contents Dedication Author’s note Part I

Terrifying childhood experiences When I lost my first tooth A conversation between the people who hid in my closet every night when I was seven If adults were subjected to the same indignities as children My top secret seventh-grade diary Frogs Middle-school telephone conversation Bar mitzvah Inside the cartridge: Duck Hunt Deal with God What I imagined the people around me were saying when I was… How my mother imagined the police Ninth-grade experiments

Part II

Choose your own adventure Actor’s nightmare Demands Gotham City Hall World’s oldest profession Worst nightmare The only e-mails I could receive that would justify the frequency with which I check my e-mail An interview with Stephen Hawking The final moments of the Titanic Acupuncture school

Part III

The official rules of boxing Secret Service Logic problems Time machine Amusement Opium wars Marathon All-you-can-eat buffet fantasy The eleventh hour Next move

Part IV

Match.com profile Donors needed Summers abroad Being of sound mind Moses I think my teenaged daughter knows I read her diary Last Supper What I want my tombstone to say when I die of encephalitis next week Thor’s Day

Part V

Free-range chickens Dalmatians Lab study Herbert Hoover Prehistoric life

Part VI

Everything happens for a reason Intelligent design Why do bad things happen to good people? A miracle Saint Agnes the martyr God has a plan for all of us Made for each other

Acknowledgments About the Author Also by Simon Rich Copyright

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