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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Epigraph
Introduction
CHAPTER 1: RULE: Say “Yes”
CHAPTER 2: RULE: To Be Shatner, You Must Know Shatner
CHAPTER 3: RULE: Busy Is Measured in Units of Shatner
RULES FOR TURNING 80
CHAPTER 4: RULE: Go West, Young Man. And Leave the Map at Home.
CHAPTER 5: RULE: Stay Hydrated
CHAPTER 6: RULE: It’s Good to Bury the Hatchet—So Your Former Costars Won’t Find It and Use It on You
CHAPTER 7: RULE: Get the Damn Line Right!
CHAPTER 8: RULE: Always Have a Spare Set of Underwear on Hand
CHAPTER 9: RULE: Eat What You Kill! (Provided It Doesn’t Kill You First!)
CHAPTER 10: RULE: If Anyone Asks You to Star in a Movie Shot Entirely in Esperanto, Say “Kiam Kaj Kiel Multa?”
CHAPTER 11: RULE: Balls Are Important, but Stones Are Money
CHAPTER 12: RULE: You Can Always Find a Good Friend in a White Crowd
CHAPTER 13: RULE: Know When to Turn Shatner On, and When to Turn Shatner Off
CHAPTER 14: RULE: Grab Life by the (Golden) Throat!
CHAPTER 15: RULE: Respect the Artistic Process of Others, Even If Their Process Takes Forever
SECOND RULE FOR TURNING 80: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
CHAPTER 16: RULE: Don’t Trust the Facebook
CHAPTER 17: RULE: Remember Where You Came from . . . Eh?
CHAPTER 18: RULE: If You Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth, You Might Find More Gifts!
CHAPTER 19: RULE: Know Which Conversations Require a Bullet-Proof Vest
CHAPTER 20: RULE: Talk Is Cheap—Unless You Can Make Money with a Talk Show
CHAPTER 21: RULE: Birds of a Feather Flock Together. But They Make for Dull Football Parties.
THIRD RULE FOR TURNING 80: You’re 80. Say What’s on Your Mind.
CHAPTER 22: RULE: If You Go to the Land Down Under, Thumb It!
CHAPTER 23: RULE: Dying Is Easy. Dying on Stage While Doing Comedy Is Easy, Too.
CHAPTER 24: RULE: Settle for Second Billing Only If the Top-Billed Act Can Beat You Up
FOURTH RULE FOR TURNING 80: Get. Out. Of. Bed.
CHAPTER 25: RULE: Don’t Die. You’ll Miss Out on All the Lifetime Achievement Awards.
Acknowledgements
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