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Index
Cover
Title Page
About the Author
Introduction
Aga Saga
War on Slugs
The Slob's Holiday
My Vivienne Westwood is Gone
Avoidance Activity
Control Freak? Moi?
The Hilton Apron Mystery
Don't Become a Writer
Christmas Presents Problems
Janet and John
Backbone
The Craft Fayre
Missing Husband
Mary the Doll
Book Early to Avoid Disappointment
Gimme Food and Newspapers
Mugging
Prince Charles for King?
The Coat
Burglaries
Beige in Cromer
Pulp Fiction
I Have to Have Liver
Nudity
Heatwave
Hosepipe Ban
Travelling Through the Snow
Expelled from the Writers' Club
To Do List
Abusive Letters
Out on the Razz
Dream House
Max the Fat Cat
Mr and Mrs Blue Hair
Lovely Roundabout
In Melbourne
Plane Trauma
Grandma at Large
The Tourist
No Ideas
Lost Bag
Christmas in Tobago
The Kitchen with the Mobiles
Idling
Display Models
Giving Advice
William Brown
Stonehenge
Horrible Supermarket
Stupid Susan/Sensible Susan
The Discs Cry ‘Out!’
Daytime TV
Carpenters on the Run
Cable TV
The Silver Boob Tube
Information Overload
Full-nest Syndrome
Gipton Estate
Conservatories
Scientific Studies Are Silly
Christmas Insurance
Strangers on a Train
Dr Strudel Questions Mrs Townsend
Dogs
Madame Vodka
Spanish Restaurant
Deadlines
Winnie-the-Pooh
My Place is Three Stars
The List
Mrs Magoo
Millennium
Pink Elephant Car Park
Solitary Behaviour
Fed up
Our Hospitals
Giving up
Size and Exercise
Water Features
Boot Sale
Burial
Talking Books
November is a Cruel Month
Dennis's Presents
Vodka
Winkle-pickers
Third Draft
Wayne Webb
Train Journeys
Read More
Follow Penguin
Copyright Page
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