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Index
Cover
Title Page
Dedication
SEPTEMBRE: Never the Deux Shall Meet Why the French distrust all English speakers and more particularly anyone who can’t speak French (for example, moi )
OCTOBRE: One Foot in the Merde I visit different parts of Paris, touristy and less so, treading in plenty of dog poop, literal and metaphorical
NOVEMBRE: Make Yourself Chez Moi Looking for an apartment. The garret myth—shared hole-in-the-floor toilets are “romantic”?
DÉCEMBRE: God Save the Cuisine With my palate attuned to French cuisine, I try my best to get nostalgic about British food
JANVIER: A Maison in the Country I discover the EU-subsidized quaintness of rural France and decide to buy a suspiciously cheap cottage
FÉVRIER: Make Amour, Not War Tensions as the Iraq war looms. Meanwhile, a girl tries her best to turn me into a Latin lover with an intensive course in French sexual traditions
MARS: The Joy of Suppositories I explore France’s wildly generous medical system and even try out typical French “treatment by the back door.”
AVRIL: Liberté, Égalité, Get Out of My Way I find that the French are secretly quite fond of English speakers after all. This is especially true of the exotic Florence
MAI: 1968 and All That With countless long weekends, holiday allowances to be used up, and the inevitable strikes, the French know that if you haven’t finished your year’s work by May 1, you’re in the merde
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A Note on the Author
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