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BOOK ONE : Summer of My Discontent
Yearbooks Should Be Buried in a Deep , Deep Hole
Don’t Call Me Ma’am
Teaching My Daughter to Swear
The Oregon Caves : Two Hours of Terror , A Lifetime of Pain
I Chat , You Chat
Buddy , You Complete Me
The Heightist Amongst Us
Too Saggy For the SAG Awards
You Will Buy My Cookies
Sample Day in a Mom’s Summer “ Vacation ”
My Dreamy Boyfriend
The Bad , Awful , Horrible News
My Madonna Story
My Husband Had Prostate Cancer and All I Got Was This Stupid T - Shirt
Mother Versus Nature
Sharp Like Knives
Is That The Shirt You’re Wearing ?
Grandpa
Your Vitamin Water Angers Me
Lake Inferior
Take Me Out of This Wretched Softball Game
Lunch With Two Joans
I Wish I Knew You , Dead Person My mom loves reading the obituary section
Don’t Dye Alone
Hollister Hell
BOOK TWO : Summer of Please Don’t End
Babies . . . Eeh
Gluten - Free Drop Out
10 Ways To Annoy Your Kids
Things Left Behind
How MUMPS Like Me Ruined Facebook
Don’t Hate Me Because I Can’t Hear You
We Can’t Let the Duck - Faced Women Win I lived my life thinking that my thin lips were completely
Jury of My Peers
Not Another Slumber Party
Chopper Lives . . . And lives . . And lives
Parenting Tips The Experts Won’t Tell You
It’s Just A Damn Chair ( A Damn Comfy Chair )
Health Hazards You Can’t Ignore
The Healing Power of the Gay Softball Moms
The New Bizarre Online Security Questions
It Was Only Five Dollars
Sorry I’m Thin and Irksome
Laundry and College in 7 Easy
Chopper , Part Three :
You Toy With Me
Facebook Parent Group Gone Wrong Sheila Haynes Rasmusen : Hi CCHS Parents ! It’s Sheila
You Will Meet A Handsome Stranger
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