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Index
Cover Title Page Copyright Notice Contents Dedication Author’s Note Pronoun The Name Is Brendan Wrestling Didn’t Always Suck I Know What He’s Saying My Brain Takes Me Freaky Places The Night I Was a Girl Opportunity Knocks Three Years Ago In Ceramics Centering the Clay At Home with Trick-or-Treaters at the Door The Santa Ana Wind A Year Later How Do You Know When the Time Is Right? Gloom Seeps Over Different Expectations Some Truths Don’t Go Over So Well Last Night’s Mistake After Vanessa Dropped Me Off Nightmare Thank God for Dry Toast Off the Bus When I’m Not at School The Bus Roars Away Confused? Hardly. I Like a Challenge A Change of Weather So What if Last Night Didn’t Go as Planned? Lucky In the Gym Vanessa Snags My Water Bottle At Home After Dinner When I Was a Little Kid When That Word Bursts Glass Shatters Sometimes the Real World Hurts I Pray to God All the Next Day A Couple Days Later College Applications, Round One Wednesday After Conditioning Mama’s Sweet Corn Stuffing It’s the American Way You Know It’s True At the Smiths’ No Guidebook Sex Maniac The Next Morning Things Look Different I’m Bothering Julie 10 Hours Later Busy Schedules Saturday’s Tournament Because Going Home Is Such a Ride Sunday Night at Andy’s House Online Before Bed The Second-to-Last Present I Got I Showed Up at Tía Rosa’s Gonna Ignore Those Bad Manners Back at the Center Because Honestly O Christmas Tree. Home from the Ordeal Early Christmas Present And Speaking of Perfection “Phewie, That Stinks!” Hormones Roger Was Man of the House Sunday Afternoon Crisis Averted. Bowling Next Day, Shopping with Andy Sucks My Problem Satin and Silk and Lace and Perfume Christmas Day Holiday-Schedule Bus Could He Be Less Romantic? Back at My House Crying into My Pillow At Bedtime The Next Day New Year’s Frankie’s Back from Cancún Screw the Rest of the World Brendan’s Sick on New Year’s Eve I Pretend A Forbidden Jewel But Cinderella Perfection Can’t Last Because of Frankie Only Friend I Still Have Tonight the House Is Quiet. No Hope in Hell of Normal A Simple Solution Final Day of Winter Recess Gorgeous Sunday Three Years Ago Sundays Like Today Today Was Just Another Crappy Day In the Parking Lot On the Wall The Big Question I Can Tell Driving to Brendan’s On the Way Home Dr. Do-Little’s Office I’m Lonely Without Brendan We’re Practicing Takedowns When I Have Time When (or if) to Disclose Birth Gender I Pass Really Well Nothin’ to Be Ashamed Of It Turns Out Dateless, Friendless on a Friday Night “People, People, Settle Down” “Quiet, People!” In the Bleachers Thank God The Closer Finals Get My Insides Are Roiling Mom and Claude the Interloper I’m Finishing Homework I Think of THAT Night Next Day’s a Minimum Day I Get Off a Stop Early It’s the Shy Kid from the Bus Q Is for Question Funny Timing That Boys’ Night Out Before Bed Tuesday After Practice Heeding the Call Living That Part in Secret Thank You, God, for Everything Five O’clock, the Most Beautiful Hour How a Girl Gets a Reputation Brendan’s Mom and Stepdad Leave Brendan Opens the Door Brendan Pulls Me Inside My Heart Guilt Is Beach Sand 1 a.m.: The Phone Rings “No Idea What to Do,” Angel Was So Pissed Last Night Hazardous “What the Fu—” Will He Tell? Awake All Night Brendan Chase Is a Fag No Idea What I’m Going to Say Even Predictable Explosions Are Scary Before Econ the Next Day Flannigan Stops Me Vanessa’s Car Idles Near the Bus Stop You Know That Feeling of Falling There’s Always a Choice? I Drive Home Numb All Vanessa Said Not Me Surprise! Happy Birthday!!!! Three Years Ago Today Veronica Says In the Morning At Breakfast Brendan and I I Have a Question The Night Before Wrestling Finals There Are Phases Nerves at the Sight of a Sweet Bungalow I Keep Messing Up Weigh-In for Wrestling Finals Forty-Five Minutes Later What Really Has Changed? Monday Morning Announcements I Leave School Without a Pass No One at Home Don’t Do Sadness From Sucky to Worse I’m Tired I Have My First Fight My Boyfriend Won Angel’s Message Asking Myself the Biggest Question Lillian Bruner’s Having a Party It Sucks Even More Sunday Night Dinner After Dinner Tiny White Torpedoes No Note Midnight I’m Leading Her Not Dying Instead We Meet Down at Mono Cove “Gender Fluid” Teacher In-Service Day Waiting Around We Go Back to Brendan’s I Take the Bus to Willows “The Truth Will Set You Free” Angel Takes Off There Is No Tidy Ending for Someone Like Me Acknowledgments Resources Further Reading Copyright
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