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Index
Cover Title Dedication About the Author I’m Just a Man Like You Contents Cheers Clarky Fatal Road Accident Polis Ansaphone The Tasmanian Devil Don’t Panic Missus Mannering! Kids, You’ve Got to Love Them Fooled You Unisex Toilets Cathy’s Meals Tell it Like it is! David Hay Said He Will Pay! Howard’s Big Regret On the Bus Trampoline Morris’s Safety Motto The Sixth Sense Now That’s Magic! Wee Jock My Deaf Wife … It’s in the Stars Guess My Age! What’s He Like? Little Arrows It’s in the Bag Mini’s a Bargain! Name that Tune Will Power! Donald & Johnny Ramensky All Bets are Off Who was that? The Heilan’ Coo! Timex Watch Talking too Much! The Polis Interpreter Got a Light Mate! Window Cleaners Guns in the Family Surprise! Surprise! Lucky Tatties A Clash of Personalities That’s My Dad! The Job’s Fucked! The Wembley Weekend Lucky Me! He’ll Go Nuts! Hearing Things The Truth, the Whole Truth I’ll Tell Him Tomorrow, Maybe! No Armchair Stampede Elvis Lives Ladies and Gentlemen – Ben Doon The Spark-le is Still There Relief, for My Relief! Blowing Your own Trumpet A Midge’s Dick! What a Plonker! We Live in a Concrete Jungle Cobblers Roast Chicken and Chips J.F.K. Dr White at Your Disposal Prison Riot Solution Open the Door Soft Hands that do Dishes It’s Good too Talk The Taxi What do you Mean? Nurses can’t be Trusted! Watch Yer Car Mister? Who are You – Pinnochio? The Pink Slip Who Let Them Go? Sumjerk Ramdmakhar The Mushroom Joke A Tight Situation You’re Nicked! Answer the Phone! That’s what She Said! CSI not Required Dusty Bin Playing it Cool High Court Trial Television Psychic Recognition at Last Alfie and the Star Wars Game Frankie, the Make up Artist Passive Smokers Answers from Police Scotland Exams Show Me Yer Jean Brody! No Age Limits The Patient’s Armless! My Uncle Tommy Profumo Affair The Traffic Camera Bethnall Green Escort Duty Bloody Witch Doctor! Jackie Barnes The Wedding Party Gentlemen Joggers The Mimic Fighting Fire with Fire You’re Not Dead! Friends Re-united Hughie’s Tortoise Room Chap at the Door Superglue the Locks No Smoking Happy Clappy with a Whisky Chaser The Medical The Special Olympics Someone to Talk to He Fancies You A Word in Your Ear The Birthday Cake The Cigar Man Something’s Missing! It’s a Knockout! Fishing for Jaws Night Out, Now and Again All for a Packet of Crisps Fun with the Buses And Finally Harry’s Whisky Mince Pie Recipe! Copyright
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