[King Dork 02] • King Dork Approximately by Portman, Frank -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Other Books by This Author Title Page Copyright Contents Acknowledgments Dedication Epigraph Introductory Remarks Part One: Christmas Vacation

Live Wire For It Was He The Iron Fist of the Santa Carla County School District It’s Not Easy Being a Twelve-Year-Old Girl It Never All Falls Away Completely A General Theory of the Universe Remaining Aloof Sam Hellerman’s Assets Fieldwork All Aboard the Obsession Train APLPA-016

Part Two: Y2K

The Brutal Conditions of the North American Kibble Mines You Might Want to Skip This Part Never Mind The Curse of the Easygoing Guy Book Roulette Doing It for Humanity The Thing Of Pizza and Metal A Manacled Place What’s It All About, Hellerman? The Secrets of Women Revealed “Finals” No Ass-Grabbio The Sweet Fruit of True Rock and Roll And They Shall Know Us by Our Monikers Hellerman and Hellerman, Attorneys at Law

Part Three: Queerview

Saint Ass One-Third of a Lifetime Supply Sam Hellerman’s Camelot Doin’ the Hillmont Rag Pat O’Brien and His Honolulu Lou Going Steady for Good Tom, Get Your Horn Up My Chariot Godzilla vs. Deodorant Book Reader Science Be Damned Down With the Universe Space: The Final Frontier

Part Four: Naomi

Questions A Pretty Good Bone Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me Hot Underwear Naomi Lulguayvian Events at the Aladdin Arcade The Hots Meanwhile, I was Still Thinking.… Hey, I’ll Take it

Part Five: Prom

Fonzie Ramoning Makes the World Go Round Shirley Temple, the Youngest, Most Sacred Monster of the Cinema in Her Time New Band Name Women! The Reptilians On Being a Boyfriend A Well-Rounded Nut Carrie

Part Six: Halls of Innocence

Zero Tolerance Stupid Eyeball King Dork Strikes Again Elmyr de Hellerman They Call It That Old Mountain Dew Carnage Aftermath King Dork Approximately

Epilogue Glossary Discography: (December–June) About the Author Excerpt from King Dork