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Index
Cover
Half-title Page
Title Page
Contents
To the Readers of the English Edition
Prologue
1 Slightly Depressed
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
2 Am I a Pathological Liar?
Today, as Ever, I’m in the Process of Getting Better
3 I’m Under Constant Surveillance
Twenty-Year-Old Me to the Me of Now
4 My Desire to Become Special Isn’t Special at All
An Island
5 That Goddamn Self-Esteem
To Not Depend on Dependence
6 What Should I Do to Know Myself Better?
‘Me’, the Being
7 Regulating, Judging, Being Disappointed, Leaving
The Truth of That Day and the Truth of Life
8 Medication Side Effects
Meaningful Even in a Small Way
9 Obsession with Appearances and Histrionic Personality Disorder
Contradictory Me
10 Why Do You Like Me? Will You Still Like Me If I Do This? Or This?
Life
11 I Don’t Look Pretty
Free Death
12 Rock Bottom
13 Epilogue: It’s Okay, Those Who Don’t Face Darkness Can Never Appreciate the Light
14 Psychiatrist’s Note:
15 Postscript: Reflections on Life Following Therapy
The Poison of Cheer
Turning My Gaze
A Life’s Work
The Question of Love
Solitude Is a Very Special Place
Suffering and Consolation
A Life with No Modifiers
Dream
Grandmother
Clichéd and Stupid Lies
My Aunt
My Dogs, My All
Togetherness
A Very Dark Time
Fiction
Buried, and Kept Buried
Romanticism and Cynicism
A Note on the Author
A Note on the Translator
Copyright Page
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