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Index
Title Page Copyright Page So what's this all about? The other side of the pillow When cashiers open up new checkout lanes at the grocery store Wearing underwear just out of the dryer Old, dangerous playground equipment Intergenerational dancing Strategic trick-or-treating Seeing a cop on the side of the road and realizing you're going the speed limit anyway Illegal naps When you get the milk-to-cereal ratio just right High-fiving babies When you're awkwardly standing by yourself with a full cafeteria tray of food ... Having a whole row to yourself on the plane Popping Bubble Wrap Being the first table to get called up for the dinner buffet at a wedding When someone lands on the hotel you just built in Monopoly Finding a mix tape given to you by an old boyfriend or girlfriend Picking the perfect nacho off someone else's plate The moment at a concert after the lights go out and before the band comes onstage Finding out your birthday is on a Friday or Saturday next year Fixing electronics by smacking them Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row When you push the button for the elevator and it's already there Bakery air Tripping and realizing no one saw you The Universal Fry-Sharing Policy Sleeping in new bedsheets Using hotel lobby bathrooms when you're out walking around Taking your bra off after wearing it for hours The sound of scissors cutting construction paper Waking up before your alarm clock and realizing you've got lots of sleep time left When the socks from the dryer all match up perfectly When there's still time left in the parking meter when you pull up The smell of crayons Peeling an orange in one shot Using all the different shampoos and soaps in someone else's shower When the vending machine gives you two things instead of one Licking the batter off the beaters of a cake mixer Being the first person into a really crowded movie theater and getting the ... Waiters and waitresses who bring free refills without asking The final seconds of untangling a really big knot The Five Second Rule When the thing you were going to buy is already on sale Peeling that thin plastic film off new electronics Finding your keys after looking forever Eating the extra fries at the bottom of the bag The feeling of scrunching sand in your feet Scraping all the lint off an overflowing lint trap The thank-you wave when you let somebody merge in front of you When you're really tired and about to fall asleep and someone throws a blanket ... Getting your ID checked when you're way over the legal age The smell of rain on a hot sidewalk That friendly nod between strangers out doing the same thing Really, really old Tupperware Getting gas just before the price goes up The pushoff Wearing sandals when you shouldn't be wearing sandals Getting off an airplane after a long flight Picking up a q and u at the same time in Scrabble Old folks who sit on their porch and wave at you when you walk by The first scoop out of a jar of peanut butter Hearing a stranger fart in public Perfectly toasted toast When someone unjams the photocopier for you Reading the nutritional label and eating it anyway When you're watching one of your favorite movies and you realize you don't ... The smell of the coffee aisle in the grocery store That pile of assorted beers left in your fridge after a party Staring out at calm water Blowing out all the candles on your first try Sneaking McDonald's and hiding the evidence Your family car growing up Eating a free sample of something you have no intention of buying Sneaking under someone else's umbrella Finally remembering a word that's been on the tip of your tongue for so long When someone offers to toss your dirty clothes in with their load of laundry The moment at a restaurant after you see your food coming from the kitchen but ... Terrible businesses run by children Frozen walls of air conditioning hitting you on hot days Catching somebody singing in their car and sharing a laugh with them Snow stepping Taking off your shoes on a long car ride Getting the eyelash out of your eye Finally figuring out how your hotel shower faucet works Talking about how much the meal you're eating at home would cost in a restaurant When you arrive at your destination just as a great song ends on the radio Saying the same thing a sports commentator says just before they say it Orange slices at halftime Putting potato chips on a sandwich When you didn't play the lottery and your numbers didn't come up The smell of frying onions and garlic Nailing a parallel parking attempt on the first try The Perfect Chicken Wing Partner Discovering those little tabs on the side of the aluminum foil box Your favorite old, comfy T-shirt The smell of freshly cut grass A long hug when you really need it A good floss after a tough steak Dangling your feet in water Salt When you know all the buttons to speed through the automated telephone system Laughing so hard you make no sound at all When you nudge the person snoring next to you and it makes them stop The sound of ice cubes cracking in a drink Solving the Wheel of Fortune puzzle before the people on the show When the guy at the border doesn't ask any questions Really, really selling it while barbecuing Locking people out of the car and pretending to drive away The sound of rain from inside the tent When you arrive at the bus stop just as the bus is coming around the corner That last crumby triangle in a bag of potato chips Bowling celebrations Slicing open a taped-up box with a set of keys or a pen Sitting next to someone good-looking on a plane When you manage to squeeze out enough toothpaste for one last brush Using Q-tips the way you're not supposed to use them Watching The Price Is Right when you're at home sick That one square in the waffle that's the most loaded with butter and syrup Rain hair Neighbors with pools When you actually remember the name of someone you met earlier at the party Somebody flashing their high beams at you to warn you about the cops The Man Couch The shampoo head massage you sometimes get at the hairdresser Finding the TV remote after looking forever Adrenaline Getting a trucker to blow his horn When there's leftover cake in the office kitchen Hanging your hand out the car window Getting served breakfast in bed Finally clipping your fingernails after you've been meaning to do it all week Coming home after a long day to the smell of someone cooking dinner Big crowds enjoying big fireworks Sleeping with one leg under the covers and one leg out Building a stack of pancakes that looks just like the front of the box When your sneeze stalls for a second and then suddenly comes booming out Wordless apologies The smell and sound of a campfire When your suitcase tumbles down the luggage chute first after a long flight Peeling off your wet bathing suit and putting on warm clothes after swimming ... Bedhead all day long Successfully moving all your clothes from the washer to the dryer without ... Backseat car windows that go down all the way Getting grass stains When you know your TV remote so well you don't need to look at the buttons When you hear someone's smile over the phone Returning to your warm and comfy bed after getting up to pee in the middle of ... Moving up a shoe size when you're a kid Perfectly popped microwave popcorn That one really good pen that never gets lost When you're driving late at night on an empty gas tank and a gas station ... Remembering what movie that guy is from Using Rock-Paper-Scissors to settle anything Pushing those little buttons on the soft drink cup lid Your colon The day you first realize you can drive Crap job shoes Celebrating your pet's birthday even though they have no idea what's going on Waking up and realizing it's Saturday High tens Seeing somebody laugh in their sleep When there's ice cream left at the bottom of the cone Sweatpants Multitasking while brushing your teeth The Parking Lot Pull Through The three-paycheck month The smell of books Getting in a line before it gets really long Getting into a bed with clean sheets after shaving your legs The Gas Arrow Snow falling on Christmas Eve Playing with a baby and not having to change its diaper Squeezing a little more juice out of dying batteries Falling asleep in the backseat of a car late at night on the drive home Ordering off the menu a t fast food restaurants Paying for something with exact change The first shower you take after not showering for a really long time The smell of gasoline Your pillow Getting something with actual handwriting on it in the mail Building an amazing couch-cushion fort Gym pain Squeezing through a door as it' s shutting without touching it Snow days The first time you fly alone When you spill something on your shirt and it doesn' t leave a stain Finding the last item of your size at the store When the boss goes out of town Getting out of the car and stretching at the highway rest stop Planning for snoozes New Socks Day Watching your odometer click over a major milestone Mastering the art of the all-you-can-eat buffet Finding money in your old coat pocket The Laugh Echo Crying Driving through your old neighborhood and stopping to see the house you grew up in The last day of school When you're right near the end of the book Smiling and thinking of good friends who are gone Remembering how lucky we are to be here right now Acknowledgements ABOUT THE AUTHOR
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