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Index
Chapter One: Wherein I do not steal a pie, but pay a price none-the-less.
Chapter Two: Wherein I become the sole guardian and protector of an orphan.
Chapter Three: Wherein I escape and lay my retribution upon my captors.
Chapter Four: Wherein we make decisions about our supper.
Chapter Five: Wherein I reveal the mystery of my family.
Chapter Six: Wherein I begin to tell the story of the Queen of Aerithraine.
Chapter Seven: Wherein my story is interrupted by goblins, thereby explaining why it might not seem
Chapter Eight: Wherein I return to my story of the Queen of Aerithraine.
Chapter Nine: Wherein I demonstrate the value of a classical education.
Chapter Ten: Wherein I discover the true nature of my companion.
Chapter Eleven: Wherein we start to get down to the truth of things.
Chapter Twelve: Wherein I hear the story of a Princess of the Elves.
Chapter Thirteen: Wherein I run into an old friend unexpectedly.
Chapter Fourteen: Wherein we spend the evening and night in the inn.
Chapter Fifteen: Wherein we take the road less traveled.
Chapter Sixteen: Wherein we travel for two days without my companion uttering a single word.
Chapter Seventeen: Wherein I become prisoner of the elves.
Chapter Eighteen: Wherein I find out what fate the elves intend for me.
Chapter Nineteen: Wherein I make an escape, a plot element that I normally wouldn’t reveal, but you
Chapter Twenty: Epilog.
Chapter One: Wherein I encounter the sorceress for the first time.
Chapter Two: Wherein I follow through with my deception, saving my life and causing quite a bit of a
Chapter Three: Wherein I hear from my harshest critic.
Chapter Four: Wherein we find another, more interesting tavern to visit.
Chapter Five: Wherein an old friend causes me some momentary discomfort and a most remarkable transf
Chapter Six: Wherein I am returned to my human self, an event you probably expected as toads seldom
Chapter Seven: Wherein Ellwood Cyrene returns as though nothing strange had happened between us.
Chapter Eight: Wherein I am reminded of one of the more obvious problems of a friendship with Ellwoo
Chapter Nine: Wherein we stop at the well at Potter Town.
Chapter Ten: Wherein I taste a disconsolateberry pie and other things happen too, but the pie is the
Chapter Eleven: Wherein we discuss evil, the secret to good pie crust, and a writer of little import
Chapter Twelve: Wherein, as you probably guessed, I don’t die of poison.
Chapter Thirteen: Wherein I hear the story of two star-crossed lovers.
Chapter Fourteen: Wherein I divulge my plan to reunite the lovers.
Chapter Fifteen: Wherein we are accosted on the road to Oordport.
Chapter Sixteen: Wherein hot blood is spilled.
Chapter Seventeen: Wherein I deliver the young woman to her intended and hurry back to Antriador.
Chapter Eighteen: Wherein I have my final confrontation with sorceress Myolaena Maetar.
Chapter Nineteen: Epilog
Chapter Twenty: Second Epilog, or Post-Epilog, or maybe Epi-epilog.
Chapter One: Wherein I see the Queen of Aerithraine and she fails to notice a very important person
Chapter Two: Wherein I uncover the mystery of my missing family, an element that the reader should p
Chapter Three: Wherein I remind the reader of the secret of Ellwood Cyrene and the very manly way in
Chapter Four: Wherein I attempt to bring Ellwood Cyrene’s secret out into the open.
Chapter Five: Wherein I uncover a plot most foul.
Chapter Six: Wherein Ellwood Cyrene ruins a perfectly good chapter about chicken pie.
Chapter Seven: Wherein I am summoned by the Queen of Aerithraine, with whom I once had the pleasure
Chapter Eight: Wherein I have a secret meeting.
Chapter Nine: Wherein I have a not so secret meeting.
Chapter Ten: Wherein I contemplate killing.
Chapter Eleven: Wherein I eat two slices of pie.
Chapter Twelve: In which I discover strange doings behind The Tumbling Stone.
Chapter Thirteen: Wherein I save Ellwood Cyrene from a death by poison.
Chapter Fourteen: In which we chase after kidnappers.
Chapter Fifteen: Wherein we discover the kidnappers’ lair and there might be zombies.
Chapter Sixteen: Wherein I see the Queen’s bedchamber.
Chapter Seventeen: Wherein I remind the reader of the story of The Queen of Aerithraine, with whom I
Chapter Eighteen: In which I finally learn the truth of what a fool I’ve been.
Chapter Nineteen: In which I have a very bad night and there really are zombies.
Chapter Twenty: In which I save the world from zombies and some other minor things happen to tie up
Chapter One: Wherein there is a pie where there ought not to be a pie.
Chapter Two: Wherein I astound the reader with my skill by putting the beginning of the story in cha
Chapter Three: Wherein I learn of the true horribleness of Ennedi.
Chapter Four: Wherein I change clothes and eat eggs and other things happen but not to me.
Chapter Five: Wherein I hear the story of Percival Thorndyke.
Chapter Six: Wherein I buy supplies.
Chapter Seven: Wherein I begin the story of The Mercenary Warrior Who Ought Not to be a Woman but Se
Chapter Eight: Wherein I lose, but regain an ear.
Chapter Nine: Wherein I finish the story of The Mercenary Warrior Who Ought Not to be a Woman but Se
Chapter Ten: Wherein I astound the reader by telling a story from an entirely different point of vie
Chapter Eleven: Wherein I very skillfully and circuitously bring back the story to where it first be
Chapter Twelve: Wherein I enjoy the hospitality of the Amazons.
Chapter Thirteen: Wherein I play witness to the horrible mating rituals of the Amazons and see more
Chapter Fourteen: Wherein I meet the Queen of the Amazons.
Chapter Fifteen: Wherein I experience the highest and lowest points of my life and then another high
Chapter Sixteen: Wherein I once again cross paths with the warrior women and their city.
Chapter Seventeen: Wherein we rush to rescue Bella, the female centaur, from a horrible monster.
Chapter Eighteen: Wherein I heroically avenge Percival Thorndyke and single-handedly rescue his girl
Chapter Nineteen: Wherein I make my return to Something.
Chapter Twenty: Wherein I explain what I did with all those riches and note the other details which
Chapter One: Wherein I travel the roads of Brest.
Chapter Two: Wherein I meet a girl named Aubrey.
Chapter Three: Wherein I reveal my mission.
Chapter Four: In which I learn what is going on.
Chapter Five: Wherein we make the journey to East Knucklewick.
Chapter Six: Wherein we hunt a werewolf and order breakfast.
Chapter Seven: Wherein I investigate and I eat a nostalgic meat pie.
Chapter Eight: Wherein we hunt a werewolf again and order a far less fattening breakfast.
Chapter Nine: Wherein I reacquaint myself with a Princess of the Elves.
Chapter Ten: In which far too much violence occurs in my own bed.
Chapter Eleven: Wherein I find myself again the object of feminine desire.
Chapter Twelve: Wherein we hope to find Eventually, but eventually discover the werewolf instead.
Chapter Thirteen: Wherein we discuss the finer points of lycanthropy and track the werewolf.
Chapter Fourteen: Wherein we discover the secret of the cave.
Chapter Fifteen: Wherein I discuss the motivations of a sorceress.
Chapter Sixteen: Wherein I play a game of five questions.
Chapter Seventeen: Wherein we eventually return to town and Eventually returns with us.
Chapter Eighteen: Wherein we return to Shoopshire to find, what for Elleena, is an unpleasant surpri
Chapter Nineteen: Wherein I receive a proposal from the Queen of Aerithraine, with whom… well, you k
Chapter Twenty: Wherein I recount the last details of my story.
Appendix I: Wherein I present the complete play The Ideal Magic for your appreciation and enjoyment.
Appendix II: Wherein I present my reviews.
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