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Index
Cover Title Page Dedication Preface Introduction Difficult Parent Questionnaire So Your Parent Is Difficult How to Get out of a Paralyzing Rut with Your Parents How to Use the Book Chapter 1 A Dependent Mother A Professional Can Help Get You out of a Rut with Your Difficult Parent Changing the Way You React to Your Parent The Mother Who Gets Sick When Her Son Goes Away Did This Son Get Away? Are Rose’s Illnesses for Real? Lifelong Dependency Dependency Can Show up for the First Time in Later Years Grieving Later-Life Losses Dealing with Later-Life Dependency Chapter 2 A “Good” Son Becomes “Bad” A Grandmother Rejects Her Favorite Grandson Why Some People Turn Hot and Cold What to Do When Your Parent Turns Hot and Cold Turning Against a Perfect Helper Chapter 3 A Mother Insists on Staying Put Empathy Can Help Accentuate the Postive in Your Relationship with Your Parent
When to Step in over Your Parent’s Objection High-Risk Situations A Low-Risk Situation Moderate Risk…Getting a Foot in the Door When to Step In
Why Do Difficult Parents Resist So Much? The Critical Person The Suspicious Parent Discovering the Cause of Later-Life Turnoff Behaviors The Overwhelming Loneliness of People with Turnoff Behaviors Chapter 4 A Vain Mother Won’t Accept Help How Narcissistic People Typically Behave Getting Along with a Narcissistic Parent Without Wearing Out Telling A Parent She Can’t Live with You The Mother-in-law Who Came to “Help” Self-Centeredness and Old Age You Don’t Have to Run Away or Give In Chapter 5 A Controlling Mother Who Cut Off Her Daugher Now Needs Her Help Helping the Daughter Decide What to Do and How to Do It The Queen of the Nursing Home What to Do about the Nursing Home Queen Control over Everyday Behavior Responding to the Control Freak “My Mother Is the World’s Greatest Manipulator” The Martyr What a Grownchild Can Do When Faced with a Martyr Parent Stress Caused by Controlling Parents When Reasoning Works Chapter 6 A Mother Who Has to Eat, Smoke, Drink… Helping This Mother Break with the Past—The Use of Letter-writing A Professional Intervention—A Mother Who Is Drinking Herself to Death “Take My Husband Away or Take Me Away”—Passive Suicide The Depression Demons You Need Help, Too Chapter 7 A Fearful Mother Living at a Distance from Her Son Dealing with the Fearful Parent The Validation Approach to Hypochondriasis A Mother Relives an Early Trauma Early Trauma Takes its Toll—Post-Traumatic Stress Helping the Grownchild of a PTSD Sufferer Chapter 8 Facing up to Loss in a Healthy Way The Losses of Old Age A Woman Who Couldn’t Grieve What to Do When Your Parent Has Trouble Grieving What to Do When Your Parent Can’t Stop Grieving Some Parents Avoid Grief by Replacing Survivors of Trauma May Find It Hard to Grieve Helping People Mourn with Therapy and Related Programs The Summation Process of Later Life Chapter 9 A Daughter Recognizes That She Is Like Her Mother An Attitude Shift Mourning a Living Parent When Your Difficult Parent Dies A Final Word Appendix Personality Disorders Types of Personality Disorders The Separation Theory The Abuse Theory Bibliography About the Authors Copyright About the Publisher
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