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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops BOB: Yes. VOICE: This is Steve. BOB: Oh, hi, Steve. How are you? STEVE: Well, that’s the reason I’m ca... BOB: Oh? EUPHEMISMS: Political-Interest Groups EUPHEMISMS: POLITICAL-INTEREST GROUPS... TERRORISM MISNOMERS: DOMESTIC TERRORISM DOCTOR: Not bad, Pedro, considering a... PEDRO: Well, I have a malignant tumor... DOCTOR: Don’t ignore that. Take some ... PEDRO: Sure, lots of different kinds. DOCTOR: Good, take some of them. That... DOCTOR: Don’t ask me. DOCTOR: Righty-ho! DAD: How was Debbie’s checkup? MOM: The dentist was very pleased. On... DAD: Great. MOM: Yes! Patented new Choppersheen! ... DAD: Choppersheen. Now in refreshing ... FARK: I pretty much just sit around, ... BOFF: Swell. What about you, Dolly? DOLLY: No sitting around for me, Mr. ... BOFF: All day? DOLLY: Except for meal... FARK: Ready as a bastard, Mr. Boff. FARK: Jason Warburton and Mrs. Amelia... PRIEST: I’m not really a priest, son.... MARIAN: I feel the same way about you... JOEY: I heard Phil Hanley died. What ... JOEY: Jesus! What a way to go! NEWS REPORT: THE DEATH OF HUMPTY DUMPTY ANCHORMAN: Joanie, what’s the scene l... KING’S MAN: Dooley. Kevin Dooley. WON... KING’S MAN: That’s right. I’ve been o... WONG: And were you the first on the s... WONG: Egg on a wall? WONG: And what was different this time? KING’S MAN: Well, this time we’ve got... WONG: Is that why you’re treating it ... WONG: So they weren’t able to put him... WONG: Do the police have any theories? WONG: Can the public help? LOPEZ: What do you think happened? LOPEZ: What are your plans for servic... LOPEZ: What is that? LOPEZ: Will you have an open casket? LOPEZ: How can people express their c... LOPEZ: Thank you so much, Mrs. Dumpty. EUPHEMISMS: It’s Gettin’ Old BODY OF WORK: PART 1 BODY OF WORK: PART 2 TOENAIL CLIPPINGS LESTER: You’re buyin’ your own birthd... LESTER: It’s a surprise party, and yo... LESTER: Save ‘em? LESTER: Why not? LESTER: Right. LESTER: I’m takin’ your word for it. LESTER: Keep going’. CHESTER: Anyway, like I say, it’s my ... LESTER: You got an interesting family. LESTER: You believe in wishes? I mean... CHESTER: Well, it couldn’t happen. Un... LESTER: In your family it might work ... CHESTER: I know. That’s why I ain’t g... LESTER: Okay, so long. Have a happy b... CHESTER: I’ll do my best. BODY OF WORK: Part 3 SCAB LABOR EUPHEMISMS: Broke, Nuts and On the St... STAN: Why do you always . . . DAN: . ... STAN: And this habit has stayed with ... STAN: But there must be something you... DAN: Yes, if I could just find someon... STAN: … it would put a little balance... DAN: Right. STAN: But why does it have to be some... STAN: … be the same person who finish... DAN: I don’t know. Let’s ask this . .. TRUE FACT: There is actually an eroti... FRANK: Oh. Well, tell him I’m sorry t... FRANK: Tell him Ginny is dead. BASIL: How about it, folks? Are you t... TILLIE: Yes sir. ZIPPY: You bet your ass! EUPHEMISMS: Death and Dying INSTRUCTIONS: FOLLOW CAREFULLY TUMOR HUMOR: GUYS, GALS & CANCER WOMEN: THE PRODUCE DEPARTMENT PAULA: Me either. KATE: Beach ball. MAE: Kate, a beach ball’s not a food! MEN: THE SPORTS SECTION ED: No kiddin? That one under his arm... ED: I remember that. For about an hou... ED: The soccer-ball stage. ED: Appropriate. How did he die, anyway?
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