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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover Page
Title Page
Table of Contents
Dedication
Prologue: The Story of My Death
A Very Active Inner Life
Wet Willy
Things I Love About Rachel Klein
The Swirling Vortex Inside My Head
Something to Think About
Exit Cue
Sniveling Coward
A Round of Waters for Everyone!
Opportunity
The Hands of a Burly Lumberjack
Hooked on the Drug of Flattery
That Dickhead, Billy Rifkin
Twenty Bucks
Glass-Half-Full Kind of Guy
Crimes Against Humanity
The Creeps
Lou and Frankie
My Wild Daydream Problem
The Most Billboards per Square Mile of Any Town in the World
Two out of Four Ain’t Bad
A Very Grim Confluence of Conversations
Epiphany
The Second Big Fight of the Last Day of My Life
Down to Business
Heroism, Nigeria, Bank Robbing, and Suicide
Call Me a Nut
The Land of Extraordinary Coincidence
My Obligation
Surprise Attack
The “Seal-a-Deal” Strategy
Sweet, Sweet, Sweet!
Not to Sound Like Jesus or Anything
Nutshell
The Meaning of Joy
Dr. Groove Meister, PhD
Trusting a Person Is All That Matters
Doughnut-Shaped Universe
Questions
A Brief History of Shakes the Clown
An Overwhelming Urge to Lean Over and Hug Nikki
Keep the Change
Freakin’ Bold, Dude
Things I Love About Rachel Klein, Redux
Well Done
Guilt by Self-Association
A Really Huge Favor
The Indescribable Feeling You Get When Your Real Life Exceeds Your Dreams
Okeydokey, Artichokey?
In Order of Importance
Myself, Ted Burger
Human Sacrifice
Contagious Electricity
The Magnificent Balloon Rhinoceros Analogy
Give This Man a Clown Nose!
The Answer to Wes’s Question
Failed with a Capital F
Now Get on Your Knees, Bend Over, and Thank Me
Belly Flop
Not a Jovial, Retirement-Age Italian or Israeli Guy
Appetizer
Another Big, Huge Favor
No Baggage
Fingers
Betrayal
Sleep on the Red-Eye
Change of Plan
No Credit
Black Hole of Nothingness
Preface to the Great Gig in the Sky
Death of a Clown: I
Death of a Clown: II
Death of a Clown: III
Doubt
Caveman Style
Pieces of the Puzzle
Venting
Fraud
Cartoon Characters
Walls and Barriers
Metaconclusion
Epilogue: A Month Later
Copyright Page
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