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Index
Cover Title Page Dedication Introduction The Digit Disease At “Whatever” Cost 8-6-7-5-3-0-Mine Give Me Liberty or Give Me Chalupas The Greatest Soccer Player Who Never Was Bleeding Packer Green Soviets in Dairyland Peace and Love Win Out A New Meaning to Recycling A Spy’s Doody Sold Out by…Poop? The Replacements H&R Blocked Shots Franklin’s Interest No Copying the Queen The Yolk’s on You The Great Atlantic Egg Debate Love Means Nothing in Tennis A Little Color Goes a Long Way Color Your Feelings Son of a Brick! Take Two of These and Call the Snake Mortician in the Morning Behold the Paratrooping Rodent Dam If You Do, Dam If You Don’t The Secret Life of F.D.C. Willard When There Are Taxes to Pay, the Cats Won’t Play The Cruller Crusaders Calling In the B Team Manhattan’s Invisible Wall When the Law Steps in, Sometimes Maps Make Less Sense When Trash Goes Down the Tubes The President’s Secret Train Station Skirting the Rules To Boldly Go Where No Couple Has Gone Before The Negro Motorist Green Book We’re (Not) All Ears A Working Woman’s Day Off Maybe You Should Listen to Your Mother A Political Knockout When You Can’t Win the Vote, Win at the Bar Harry Potter 2.0? From a Cluck to a Click Modern-Day Canaries in the Coal Mines Chicken Nugget Fuel Blowing Broccoli-Flavored Bubbles Burger Math Feathers, Lead, and Gold Don’t Try This at Home…or Anywhere Else The Prize Is in the Details Do Not Skip This Under Penalty of Law Children of the Box Lifting the Old Ball and Chain The Siege of Weinsberg Unlikely Allies Spuds Away! The White Glove Treatment A Smoke Break for Nonsmokers At Least They’re High in K Urine Trouble You Don’t Know What You’re Swimming In Faster Than a Speeding Bullet Superman to the Rescue Kryptonite and the KKK A Reverse Aphrodisiac Operation Cornflakes Canada’s Fruit Machine The “Not My Fault” Button Who’s Sorry Now? Ham Takes to the Skies The Gimli Glider Pirating Measurements The Bills Go Marching, Two by Two Sprinting for Office The Senator Rests A Bestselling Ghost Writer A Ghastly Witness Judging a Judge by His Cover The Biggest Names in Showbiz A Warranted Mistake Broaster Prince versus Burger King There’s No Place Like McDonald’s Dear Leader, Thanks for the Fruit Wax In, Wax Out Blue Ear Air Plane Headless Potato Not the Toys You’re Looking For You Better Not Shout, I’m Telling You Why It Was a Wonderful Life…Eventually And the Oscar Doesn’t Go To… Oscar de la Rental A Kernel of History At Least the Popcorn Is Free Admit Four Catching Up on Your Zs A Declaration of Independenze Born in July…or August? February 30 The Metric System versus Time Time to Go to Jail About the Author Copyright
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