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Imperial Library
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Index
Cover
Contents
Title
Copyright
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter 1: Trade Frequently
Chapter 2: Trade Foreign Exchange
Chapter 3: Believe in Your Heart That You Can Pick Stocks
Chapter 4: Assume That Recent Trends Will Continue Indefinitely
Chapter 5: Pour Continuer . . . Sell When Things Look Bleak . . . and Stay the Heck Out of the Market
Chapter 6: Know in Your Heart That This Time It’s Different . . . and Act on It
Chapter 7: Dividends Are for Spending—Not Investing—Just Ignore Them or Use Them to Buy Baubles
Chapter 8: Cash Is Garbage—Except When It’s Not
Chapter 9: Put Your Money into a Hedge Fund
Chapter 10: Try Strategies That No One Else Has Ever Thought of . . . You Can Out-Think the Market
Chapter 11: Use the Strategies That University Endowments and the Giant Players Use
Chapter 12: Commodities Are Calling . . . Will You Answer the Phone?: Everything That Happens in Your Life Involves Commodities
Chapter 13: Go on Margin for Everything
Chapter 14: Sell Short
Chapter 15: Do Not Have a Plan for Your Investing or for Your Financial Life Generally
Chapter 16: Do It All Yourself
Chapter 17: Pay No Attention at All to Taxes
Chapter 18: Believe That Those People You See on TV Can Actually Tell the Future
Chapter 19: Do Not Start Even Thinking about Any of This until the Absolutely Last Moment
Chapter 20: Don’t Believe That Any of This Matters Very Much, This Money Stuff
Chapters 21–49: How to Ruin Your Greatest Asset—You
Choose a Career with No Possibility of Advancement
Choose a Career with Little Chance for a Good Income
Choose Lots of Education over Lots of Pay
Show No Respect for Your Boss or Fellow Workers
Don’t Learn Much about Your Job, Industry, or Employers . . . Just Wing It
Do the Minimum Just to Get By
Show Up in Torn Jeans, Unshaven, Unwashed, Any Old Way You Feel Like Showing Up
Show No Regard for the Truth
Display Open Contempt for Your Job, Your Fellow Workers, Your Boss, and Your Clients/Customers
Act Like You Are Morally Superior to Your Job and Your Colleagues
Do Not Be Punctual
Don’t Hesitate to Have a Cocktail or Two at Lunch
Gossip and Sow Divisiveness at Work
Second-Guess Everyone around You at Work, Especially Your Boss
Threaten Your Boss and Employer with Litigation
Look for Grievances at Work
Make Sexual Advances to Anyone You Find Attractive
Make Excessive Phone Calls, Texts, and E-Mails on Company Time
Play Video Games at Work and Make Loud Noises as You Do
Make and Keep Lots of Personal Appointments on Company Time
Listen to Your Colleagues’ Conversations and Snoop on Their E-Mails
Talk about How Much Better Earlier Employers Were Than Your Current Employer
Brag about Your Great Family Connections
Pad Your Expense Account
Borrow Money from Your Fellow Employees and Don’t Pay It Back
Question, Mock, and Belittle Your Tasks
Flirt with Your Colleagues’ Significant Others
Proselytize at Work and Belittle Anyone Who Doesn’t Share Your Political or Religious Beliefs
Say Anything You Want That Comes into Your Head
About the Author
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