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Index
Cover
Also by the Author
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
The Mandate of the Awakened Family
Part One: A New Awakening
CHAPTER ONE: Learning a New Way
The Roar of the Ego
How Fear Drives Our Anxiety, Anger, and Other Reactions to Our Children
The Part Played by Your Past
Is It Your Child, or Is It You?
How Our Children Are Our Awakeners
A Shift of Focus
CHAPTER TWO: How the Culture Sets Up Parents to Fail
When Caring Feels Like Control
The Clash of Time Zones
What Children Really Need
CHAPTER THREE: The Invisible Triggers of Our Reactivity
The Roots of Our Triggers
The Parental Kool-Aid
Part Two: Our Parenting Myths
CHAPTER FOUR
The Problem with Child-Centric Parenting
The Tyranny of “Too”
Is Parenting Really an Unselfish Act?
Dare to Raise Yourself First
CHAPTER FIVE
Agenda-Driven Fun
The Curve Shows Up Everywhere
The Double-Edged Sword of “Reaching for One’s Potential”
The “Unpotentialized” Child
Putting Things in Perspective
CHAPTER SIX
Is It Defiance or Defensiveness?
Double Standards
CHAPTER SEVEN
Moving from the Fantasy of Parenting to Reality
CHAPTER EIGHT
Love Is Only a Beginning
When Love Doesn’t Feel Like Love to a Child
Rethinking Our Ideas About Love
CHAPTER NINE
Engaging Life “As Is”—Being Versus Doing
Learning About Happiness from Children
CHAPTER TEN
Understanding the Limits of Our Control
Reframing the Concept of Control in Order to Raise Real Humans
Part Three: Understanding Our Reactivity
CHAPTER ELEVEN: Raising the Real Child
How I Began to Awaken
Recognizing the Call of the Lost Self
Befriending Our Lost Self
Discovering Your Family’s Emotional Blueprint
CHAPTER TWELVE: What’s Really Behind Our Reactions
Typical Pathways for the Expression of Fear
The Core of Our Fear
Entering Trust, Abundance, and Empowerment
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Transforming Fear into Consciousness
Emerging from the Shadows of the Past
Letting Go of Fantasy Parents
Separating Love from Fear
A New Path Lights Up Ahead of Us
Part Four: Transformative Parenting Skills
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: From Expectations to Engagement
The Problem with Well-Intentioned Expectations
What’s the Unmet Expectation?
Out of the Head and into the Heart
The Dance of Nonduality
The Freedom of Engaging
Transforming Expectation into Engaging
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: From Mindless Reaction to Mindful Presence
Entering the Present Moment
The Power of Impermanence
The Abundance of the “As Is”
Your Reaction Is Your Child’s Trigger
Transforming Reaction to Authentic Expression
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: From Chaos to Stillness
The Power of Silence
When Talking Creates Trouble—and the Value of Deep Listening
Discovering the Power of Your Presence
Making Time for Time
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: From Role to No-Role
Tapping Into the Guidance of the Universe
Entering the No-Role Zone: Insights from Nature
The Power of the Antidote
The Power of the Container
Creating Rooms of Light
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: From Emotions to Feelings
Creating a Direct Path to Feeling
CHAPTER NINETEEN: From Enmeshment to Autonomy
The Pitfall of Emotional Fusion
Developing Emotional Autonomy
Don’t Fear Dissent
Embracing Pain
CHAPTER TWENTY: From Judgment to Empathy
What Empathy Really Means
How to Empathically Address the Realities of Life
Empathy Does Not Mean Collusion
Decluttering Your Inner Landscape
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: From Discipline to Enlightened Boundaries
You Cannot Set a Boundary You Don’t Have
What’s the Higher Purpose of Your Boundary?
Where Do Consequences and Punishment Fit In?
The Power of Clear Limits and Boundaries
The Mechanics of Holding a Limit
How Do Natural and Logical Consequences Really Work?
What’s Your Embodiment Quotient?
Entering the Zone of Zero Hypocrisy
Redefining Discipline
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO: From the Battlefield to the Negotiation Table
Listening for the Untold Desire
Moving Away from Blind Indulgence
From Winning to Win-Win
Ending Sibling Wars
Subduing Divorce Drama
Red Flag Alert: Getting on a New Highway
The Courage to Be a Warrior of Peace
EPILOGUE: Shedding Skin, Shedding Light
APPENDIX: Thirty Daily Reminders to Build Consciousness
Acknowledgments
About the Author
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