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~When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty~
~Just when you think life’s a bitch, it has puppies~
~The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off~
~Life is short. Don’t be a dick~
~Don’t worry, ladies. There’s plenty to go around~
~Come to the dark side. We have cookies~
~Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off~
~There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot~
~I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet~
~Even if it kills me, I’m gonna smile~
~The first rule of holes: if you’re in one, stop digging~
~Behind every damsel in distress is a fire-breathing dragon~
~There Are Some Days Even My Lucky Underpants Can’t Help~
~Did I eat a bowl of smarts for lunch?~
~Well behaved girls rarely make history~
Acknowledgments
~Mean people suck~
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