Fighting for Your Marriage by Markman, Howard J. -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Title page Copyright page Dedication Acknowledgments Introduction

WHY A NEW EDITION HOW PREP WORKS GETTING THE MOST FROM THIS BOOK MOVING AHEAD WITH CONFIDENCE

PART 1: Understanding the Risks on the Road to Lasting Love

1 Five Keys for a Great Relationship: PREP in a Nutshell

THE PREP JOURNEY KEY RISKS TO A LASTING LOVE MOVING AHEAD ON YOUR JOURNEY

2 Destructive Patterns: Signs of Danger Ahead

WHAT THE FOLKS IN WHITE LAB COATS SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN CONFLICTS ARISE BETWEEN YOU? ESCALATION: WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND INVALIDATION: PAINFUL PUT-DOWNS NEGATIVE INTERPRETATIONS: WHEN PERCEPTION IS WORSE THAN REALITY WITHDRAWAL AND AVOIDANCE: HIDE AND SEEK HOW YOU START TALKING MAY DETERMINE HOW YOUR TALKING WILL GO

3 Changing Roles, Changing Rules: Men and Women in Conflict

WHAT’S TRUE AND WHAT’S FALSE? WHEN ONE WANTS TO TALK AND THE OTHER DOESN’T CONFLICT, THE BIG DIFFERENCE NEGATIVE INTERPRETATIONS, ROUND TWO

PART 2: Teaming Up to Handle Conflict

FIVE KEY FILTERS MEMORY MATCHING FILTER AWARENESS: YOU HAVE THE POWER

5 Talking Safely Without Fighting: The Speaker Listener Technique

EMOTIONAL SAFETY COUNTS MOST STRUCTURE CAN BRING EMOTIONAL SAFETY THE SPEAKER LISTENER TECHNIQUE

6 Controlling the Home Fires: Handling Issues and Events Well

ISSUES AND EVENTS HIDDEN ISSUES: THE DEEPER THEMES

7 New Perspectives on Problems and Problem Solving

THREE KEY ASSUMPTIONS HANDLING PROBLEMS WELL A DETAILED EXAMPLE: BJORN AND FRANCES WHEN IT’S NOT THAT EASY

8 Keeping Conflict Under Control: Ground Rules for a Great Relationship

PART 3: Enjoying Each Other

9 Safe Harbor: Preserving and Protecting Friendship

WHAT IS A FRIEND? BARRIERS TO FRIENDSHIP PROTECTING FRIENDSHIP IN YOUR MARRIAGE

10 Being There: Supporting One Another in Life

ADVANCES IN THE FIELD WHAT IS SUPPORT? WHAT UPSETS OR WORRIES YOU? TYPES OF SUPPORT ENHANCING SUPPORT

11 Playing Together: How to Succeed in Fun Without Really Trying

BARRIERS TO FUN WORKING AT PLAY

12 Sense and Sensuality: Enhancing and Protecting Your Sex Life

SENSUALITY VERSUS SEXUALITY THE ART OF ROMANCE WHAT DO LOVE AND PASSION HAVE TO DO WITH IT? PROTECTING PHYSICAL INTIMACY FROM ANXIETY WHEN YOU’RE JUST NOT INTERESTED (IN SEX) COMMUNICATING DESIRES PRIMARY PLEASURES: MAKING YOUR SENSUAL RELATIONSHIP A PRIORITY

13 Sacred Places: Core Beliefs and Spiritual Intimacy

RELIGIOUS VERSUS SPIRITUAL RESEARCH ON RELIGIOUS INVOLVEMENT WHAT DO SUCH FINDINGS MEAN FOR ALL COUPLES? WHEN YOUR VIEWS ARE NOT YOUR PARTNER’S VIEWS

PART 4: Staying the Course

HOW EXPECTATIONS AFFECT RELATIONSHIPS WHERE EXPECTATIONS COME FROM WHAT TO DO ABOUT EXPECTATIONS HEALTHY GRIEVING: THE DEEPEST ACCEPTANCE

15 Forgiveness: Restoring Hope

TWO PERSPECTIVES ON FORGIVENESS WHAT IS FORGIVENESS? RESPONSIBILITY AND TRUST THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS IN THE FLOW OF LIFE STEPS TO FORGIVENESS AND RESTORATION

16 Sticking, Stuck, or Stopped: On the Path to Commitment

THE COMPLEXITY OF COMMITMENT WHAT IS COMMITMENT? HOW DOES COMMITMENT DEVELOP? THE POWER OF DEDICATION: CHOICES, COUPLE IDENTITY, SACRIFICE, AND THE LONG-TERM VIEW IF YOU ARE FEELING STUCK AND WANT TO STICK AGAIN

17 Moving Forward

MAKING FIGHTING FOR YOUR MARRIAGE A REALITY CONFIDENCE FOR THE FUTURE

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