If You Did What I Asked in the First Place by Duff, Lori B. -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Title Page Copyright Dedication If You Did What I Asked in the First Place

I Am Wonder Woman Tweenage Drama Island The Whine of the Motorcycle Rider A Mother’s Lament

Out Of My Element

Small Talk Erma-Induced Social Anxiety Home Sweet Hotel Room Afternoon Football Fan Hair Helmet Battle Scars Middle School Bathroom Ballet

This Is What I’m Asking For

My Funeral Bathroom Etiquette Introverts: Taking Over the World One Keystroke at a Time Ode to the Public Library The Queen’s English Drag Queens, Candy Crush, and Mental Sorbet The Ice Cream Man When Mommy Gets Sick White Hat Hacker Where are the Sponges?

First World Problems

Uphill in the Snow. Both Ways. Men, Women, and the Functionality of Pockets Dress Code Blues Been There, Done That, Got the T-Shirt No Fair! Or, More Whining about Inequality Between the Sexes The Joy of Accidental Discovery My Love Affair with Piles of Books Metatarsalgia and Me Hello, Alexa! Pollen Season Eyeball Surgery Redux Sleeping with a CPAP Most Likely To … Yesaholics Anonymous The Nine PTO Moms (and One Dad) You See at Every Event The Wednesday of My Life

Time For a Snack Break

I’m Having a Food Baby Grits and Vegemite Packing Healthy Lunches the Lazy Mom’s Way How a Cupcake Can Save the World Overcomplicated Coffee Jackfruit

Sometimes You Do What I Ask

Mascara Grilled Cheese and Snuggles My Baby Boy is Sick The Bat Mitzvah Girl, the Ogre, and the Onion High School Dance Baby’s First Drive-Through Get a Job, Kid Music Lessons Way Back in the Way Back

Acknowledgements