Forever, Erma by Bombeck, Erma -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Title Page Contents Foreword Hello, Young Mothers

Paint Tint Caper--September 4, 1965 Birds, Bees and Guppies--January 6, 1966 Good Neighbor Policy--May 16, 1966 Waking Up Momma--July 4, 1966 When Last Child Goes to School--September 5, 1966 Surviving Motherhood--September 1966 Costume for the School Play--May 29, 1968 Outgrowing Naps--August 14, 1968 A Mother's Eye--August 18, 1968 No More Oatmeal Kisses--January 29, 1969 Confirmed Shouter--March 5, 1969 Youngest Child Tries to Tell a Joke--May 23, 1969 "Are We Rich?"--June 3, 1971 When God Created Mothers--May 12, 1974 Motherhood--Love and Laughter--September 1974 How to Communicate with Toddlers--December 1974 The Twelve Days of School--September 1975 "Things My Mother Taught Me" Assignment--September 28, 1975 A Baby's Bill of Rights--November 13, 1975 Happiness and Motherhood--April 24, 1980 Disposable Diapers--February 8, 1990 Spit--March 18, 1990

All My Children

Children Cornering the Coin Market--January 5, 1965 My Son, the President--October 30, 1965 "I Don't Want to Go to Grandma's"--May 1966 Going Deaf from Rock 'n' Roll--January 23, 1967 Daughter Learning to Drive--July 18, 1969 Phone Messages--October 22, 1969 Working Mom's Telephone Crisis--May 28, 1971 I've Always Loved You Best--July 20, 1971 Mike and the Grass--May 1973 Live-in Neighbor Child--September 30, 1973 Kids: Life's Greatest Mysteries--July 29, 1975 I Loved You Enough to...--January 6, 1976 Parents Get Apartment--June 6, 1976 Children Are Like Kites--May 15, 1977 Summertime Blues--August 3, 1978 Local or Toll Call Girlfriend?--February 1, 1979 Marching to a Different Drummer--November 3, 1979 Parenthood Is Worth the Risks--September 2, 1980 Favorite Child--May 10, 1981 The First Day of School--September 3, 1981 Third Child--November 5, 1981 Mother-Son Dialogue--January 13, 1987 Different Mother for Each Child--June 26, 1990

Housewife's Lament

Soap Operas--June 1, 1965 Lost Identity--September 18, 1965 When the Memory Starts to Go--June 9, 1967 Subversive Window Washer--September 29, 1967 Sewing-Basket Blues--November 21, 1969 Ironing--June 10, 1971 The Mother Who Drives--June 11, 1972 Making Paycheck Stretch--October 1972 A Housewife's Prayer--October 1974 Mom Last to Get Cold--October 16, 1975 "I Was 37 Years Old at the Time"--August 7, 1976 Dumpy Paper Dress--March 31, 1977 Handbags--October 25, 1977 Bizarre Accidents--November 29, 1981 Turning into Mother--June 1, 1989

Love and Marriage

Get Well for Mom--April 3, 1966 Cleaning Out the Attic--December 28, 1966 Interpreting the Checkbook--April 24, 1967 Men Have a Six-Word Limit--July 23, 1969 Car Hits a Tree--January 24, 1971 Daytime Husband, Nocturnal Wife--March 22, 1971 Keeping Track of Valuable Papers--June 1972 Husband Born Late--October 8, 1972 Husband Dreads Hammering Nails in the Wall--November 23, 1972 My Husband the Prince of Darkness--February 20, 1973 Husband Has Clothes for All Occasions--May 8, 1979 Jim Is Retired--May 19, 1985 My Social Life--November 3, 1985 Clippers--April 26, 1987 Car Heater--December 11, 1988 Husband Reads at Night--March 14, 1989 Husband Preempts His Christmas Gifts--December 10, 1992

Home Sweet Home

Household Hints--September 11, 1965 The Home Handyman--January 18, 1966 The American Clothesline--April 20, 1967 Getting Locked Out--July 8, 1968 No Pencil in the House--February 17, 1969 The Husband Who Prunes--September 15, 1969 Garage Sales--June 6, 1971 Relaxing with "Country Gardens"--October 26, 1975 Working Wife/Maid Communication--September 28, 1982 VCR--January 24, 1985 "What Time Is It?"--November 2, 1986 Boston Fern--November 13, 1986 Repairmanese--March 3, 1988 Eyeglasses in Every Room--June 27, 1989 Weekends--March 15, 1990 Changing of the Closets--May 1, 1990 Swinging Was Respectable on Front Porch--September 22, 1994 Martha Stewart--September 27, 1995

Dear Old Dad

When God Created Fathers--June 17, 1973 Consolidating Cereal, Ice Cream, Cookies, etc.--December 8, 1974 Stepfather--January 6, 1980 Daddy Doll Under the Bed--June 21, 1981 Speak "Thermostat"--December 19, 1982 New Generation of Fathers--June 21, 1987

Food for Thought

The Instead-of Cookbook--November 4, 1965 Weight Watchers Dilemma--April 27, 1972 Burning Calories--August 18, 1974 Dinner Is Ready--May 24, 1977 Dieting Is a Losing Battle--March 21, 1978 Seven Days to Make Garbage--May 3, 1981 Thawing Hamburger--March 9, 1982 Fruitcake--December 11, 1986 Doggie Bags--August 25, 1987 Spices--July 26, 1988 Older People Only Talk about Food--May 24, 1990 Leftovers That Refuse to Die--December 17, 1991 Leftover Halloween Candy--December 1, 1994 Tooth Traps--June 4, 1995

The Empty Nest

Daughter Returns to College--January 28, 1972 Picking Up the Tennis Ball--July 24, 1975 Empty Nest Overrated--October 1, 1978 Parents Covet Kids' Closets--August 9, 1979 "Not to Worry"--July 15, 1984 My Son's Answering Machine--June 22, 1986 Remembering Children's Names and Ages--June 14, 1987 Kids Show Up for Dinner--July 19, 1990 Parent-Child Bonding--January 13, 1991 When Grown Kids Come to Visit--December 20, 1995

Special People

Grandma and Funerals--November 20, 1968 Love Is a Grandparent--November 3, 1974 The Volunteer--June 24, 1975 Mother Earned Her Wrinkles--February 8, 1976 The Listener--February 26, 1977 Mothers of Disabled Children--May 11, 1980 Heroes--August 2, 1981 Caregivers--November 26, 1991 Mothers Who Have Lost a Child--May 14, 1995

Wish You Were Here (Instead of Me)

Help Thy Neighbor--August 25, 1968 Men Never Ask Directions--August 24, 1969 The Last Family Vacation--June 1972 Parking the Family Trailer--June 1972 Showing Slides of Vacation--February 26, 1974 Continental Breakfast--August 17, 1975 Elusive Rest Area--July 11, 1976 Seeing America by Headlights--September 16, 1980 Eleven-Piece Vacation Wardrobe--July 21, 1981 Traveling with Tripod--July 27, 1982 Alaska Cruise and Smoked Salmon--April 21, 1987

The Holidays

Children of Christmas--December 25, 1969 Kids Are Sick...It Must Be Christmas--December 18, 1970 Family Christmas Newsletter--December 9, 1971 Christmas Chimes--December 23, 1976 Son Home for the Holidays?--January 2, 1977 Halloween Challenges "No Talent" Mother--October 30, 1979 Grandfather's Solitude--December 25, 1979 No One Diets on Thanksgiving--November 26, 1981 "Love Is" List for a Gusto Husband--February 14, 1982 Thanksgiving and Families--November 25, 1982 Memory Tree--December 22, 1983 Christmas Newsletter Winner--December 12, 1985 Undecorating the Christmas Tree--January 1, 1987 "Equal" Christmas Gifts--December 22, 1994

The Gang's All Here

Entertaining--November 18, 1965 Mouse in the Pump Organ--January 13, 1971 My Husband Builds a Fire--December 1971 "Come Casual"--April 1975 Party Hostess Loneliest Person in the World--September 1975 College Reunion--November 3, 1977 Trip to the Rest Room--October 25, 1979 Pepper Mill Experience--December 18, 1983 Grandma's Grudges--May 1, 1984 Houseguests--August 6, 1985 Restaurant Conversation--October 20, 1985 Hors d'Oeuvres--December 5, 1985 Family Goodbyes--July 28, 1994 Planning Birthday Celebrations--November 8, 1994

Of Missing Socks, Promiscuous Hangers and Other Unexplained Phenomena

Socks Lost in Washer--May 28, 1969 Girdles--May 18, 1970 Creeping Underwear--December 1972 Socks Still Lost in Washer--April 1, 1973 Pantskirt in the Rest Room--September 1973 Coat Hangers--September 18, 1984 No Luck with Pantyhose--November 10, 1985 Crockpot Sock--March 20, 1990 The Restless Car--October 1, 1995

The Catchall Drawer

Talent--June 6, 1966 Even Charity Has Its Bounds--January 2, 1967 Time--November 17, 1971 Women Are Financial Giants--February 19, 1980 Junk Drawers--January 17, 1984 Box Savers--December 20, 1984 I'm-Not-Going Syndrome--October 28, 1986 Fashion Trends Pioneer--October 11, 1987 Shoulder Pads--December 1, 1988 Comfortable Shoes--September 14, 1989 Seize the Moment--June 25, 1991 Brain Capacity Is Limited--July 4, 1993 Let's Face It, Not All Ruts Need Repair--April 17, 1996

Tributes A Biography of Erma Bombeck Copyright

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