Your Dad Stole My Rake by Papa, Tom -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

Cover Title Page Copyright Notice Dedication Introduction Moms & Dads

No Presents for Dad Call Your Mother Before She’s Dead Tiger Mom vs. Ice-Cream Mom Things You Find on Mom Don’t Ask Your Father Your Children Should at Least Think You Might Spank Them Things You Find on Dad Stop Trying to Be Cool

Children

Welcome to Plain Pasta, Can I Take Your Order? The Kid with the Googly Eye Your Baby Doesn’t Want to Go Anywhere with You Boys Stink How to Yell at Your Children Morning People In Defense of Family Vacations The Happiest Place on Earth? No Fighting Before Coffee Least Popular Baby Names School Sucks!

Family Life

Someone Threw Up There Worst Family Vacation Spots Nuttier Than a Fruitcake No Phones at the Tablay Stay Out of the Emergency Room Tell Me that Story Again Bad Family Games Birthday Parties Belong at Home Fun Family Traditions

Husbands

There Are No Great Guys Don’t Drag Him to an Art Gallery While on Vacation Things Husbands Lie About You Aren’t Marrying Who You Think You Are John Is Dead

Wives

The Wife Lie Detector The Importance of the Forced Romantic Getaway We’ll Sleep When We’re Dead That Cute Thing She Does What Men Think Their Wives Do in the Bathroom Leave the Past Alone There’s No Such Thing as a Soul Mate

Pets

Your Cat Thinks You’re Too Needy Your Dog Doesn’t Want to Go to a Restaurant with You Get a Fish Good Family Pets Requiem for Smokey Bad Family Pets

Grandparents

Fishing for Sky Old People Shouldn’t Twerk Perfect Gift Ideas for Grandma Who’s Watching Who? Bad Gift Ideas for Grandma

The Outlaws

Your Father-in-Law Doesn’t Like You Either Best Places to Bring Your Daughter’s Boyfriend Your Mom’s Not the Boss of Me

Brothers & Sisters

Mistake in the Woods The Brother I Never Had

Aunts, Uncles & Cousins too

Cool Aunt vs. Creepy Aunt Uncle Al, All the Kids’ Pal Cool Things to Do with Your Uncle When You’re Young Your Cousins Will Ruin Your Life

Strangers

Rocky Road New Americans

Trolls Techno-Idiots The Super Sports Fan The Angry, Middle-Aged White Guy Hot Moms Know-Nothing Life Masters

People to Avoid on a Plane

And, Finally … Just Eat the Bread Acknowledgments Coupons About the Author Newsletter Sign-up Contents Copyright