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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Table of Contents
About the Book
Prologue
1. I’d Rather Stick My Hand in a Cow’s Ass
2. Shit Mouth
3. Fucking Karen
4. Snort My Way to Happiness
5. Goddamn Spray Tan
6. Great Ass
7. Shut Your Whore Mouth
8. Huh
9. Boner Killer
10. Science
11. I Don’t Think That Means What You Think it Does
12. I’m So Sure Whatever
13. Turtle Chinchilla
14. The Hatchet House
15. I. Am. Shook.
16. Fluffy-Wuffy
17. Pizza with a Porn Star
18. It’s Not Me; It’s You
19. That Motherfucker
20. Let Him Carry Your Fucking Baggage
21. For the Love of God, Touch Me Already!
22. Tiny Dick Nubbin
23. Can I Use a Spatula?
24. Assless Chaps and a Cattle Prod
25. Piss Boner
26. Chaos
27. That Motherfucker, Part 2
28. Skanky Giggler
29. Just My Type
Acknowledgements
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