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Index
Cover Dedication Epigraph Tyger Tyger, Burning Bright Cheese Ball! I Am the Worm Cager Messer’s List of Things He’s Never Done Hocus Pocus, and Kansas Is Full of Shit A Visit to the Hotel Kenmore Getting On Board Mojave Field Rabbit & Robot In with the Cogs Are We There Yet? Printer Ketchup Like Nothing Else in Tennessee Parker, My Valet The Longest Elevator Ride of My Life Dr. Geneva, and What Space Does to Teenage Boys Of Clocks, Cogs, and the Sense of Smell Captains Outrageous Canard à l’Orange Good King Wenceslas, and a Serious Obelisk of Friendship Deck 21 I Am the Worm Never Send a Human to Do a Cog’s Job It Really Is Christmas The Proper Way to Prepare a Curry I’m Pretty Sure We’re Upside Down Now It Happens Here, I Guess A Pedestrian Assessment of Alsatian History A Cruise-Directing Phoenix from the Ashes Stopped at the Wicket The Boy from First Class, and a Fire in the Bank An Infinity of Nevers, and a Mission to Find a Can Opener Captains Get to Do Whatever They Want to Do Right Side Up, Upside Down There’s a Bright Side to Just About Everything Unless You Happen to Be Dying to Die We Raise Our Hands A Most Unfortunate Dane Billy Hinman Goes to Church Getting Out of the Memphis Hotel Thanks for Not Killing Me Out of Bed and Into the Tennessee The Lost Girls, and the Boy in the Bucket Duncan’s Horses Put Your Welcome Faces On! The Giant Blue Fetus in Space He Makes a Great Gasket Tricky Words The Things We’d Never Seen Before Happy New Year, Happy No Year Freedom, and an Unemployed Cog in the Hallway Billy Hinman, Billy Hinman This Was the Tennessee We Dance, and Queen Dot Accounts for Mexican Cuisine and Human Evolution In Which We Find Out Where King Carlos Is and Suffer a Blow to Our Self-Esteem Herman Melville Would Be Pleased Eaters and Feeders First Night of the Neveryear It’s Time to Eat Now, and I Become Aware of My Balls The Cruise Ship to End All Cruise Ships The Nicest Giraffe I Ever Met A Sleep Sandwich Dumb Pointless Optimism You Better Watch Out for the Monkeys Cager Messer’s Can Opener and Push-Ups List Times That Aren’t Now A Normal California Boy Getting the Wrong Idea Shakespeare’s Crowbar The Porridge of Officer Dennis If Thy Right Eye Offend Thee What Kind of World Mooney, Mooney! This Is What We Saw Are You One of Us? Moon to Moon Just Like Home Helpless, Helpless, Helpless v.1 Human Beings Caveman & Spaceman The Unlock Code Righting the Ship The Doctor and the Reverend Epilogue: It Took Dominion Everywhere Acknowledgments About the Author Copyright
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