What's Stopping You · Why Smart People Don't Always Reach Their Potential and How You Can by Kelsey, Robert -- Read -- Imperial Library of Trantor

Index

ENDORSEMENTS Title page Copyright page DEDICATION PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION FOREWORD BY LUKE JOHNSON INTRODUCTION

Fear of failure The monkey on my back A practitioner in failure An addiction to self-help

PART ONE: What is Stopping You?

1 FEAR

Blind to office politics Emotions and their role in survival Impaired mental capacity Experiments in emotional manipulation Task perseverance, task avoidance Mastery or ego orientation Self-help books aimed at High-FFs Dream fulfilment is a false promise Avoidance behaviours “Attribution theory” and the “locus of control”

2 EXTERNAL RESPONSES

Post-traumatic stress disorder Daniel Goleman and high EQ High-FFs are capable of emotional intelligence Getting on top of our external responses Anger as concealment and control Frustration and anxiety Depression is a thief Taking responsibility Focus on the present and future

3 FAILURE AS A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE

Failure is a question of interpretation The link with low self-esteem Reframing failure Depersonalizing failure Company failure is a transformed concept “Fail better”

4 PRODUCING BETTER RESPONSES

Cognitive behavioural therapy Start a diary

PART TWO: Goals

5 ACT

Circle of influence Goals are a major differentiator The grey zone Avoiding avoidance goals Setting the right goals

6 VISUALIZATION

NLP needs tempering Visualization of goals Parcelling up the 10-year goals Lurid fantasies Picking the right jungle The Character Ethic The principles come first Our own constitution A dynamic towards appropriate goal setting Goal-setting may take several goes

7 LANGUAGE AND BEHAVIOUR

Write down your goals Behave as if we are already there Positive self-talk Pre- and post-visualization exercises The Reticular Activating System – our “antennae” Luck and the winner’s curse

8 APPROPRIATE GOAL SETTING FOR RECOVERING HIGH-FFS

Setting the wrong goals can be fatal Money’s diminishing returns Setting goals beyond our goals If we could have our goals now – would we? Recognize the milestones

PART THREE: Execution

9 STRATEGY AND TACTICS

The strategic bridge Advantages of a strategy The strength of adopting “objectives, strategy, tactics” The SWOT A strategy based on strengths and opportunities Be different The “jumping out of the aeroplane” moment The required fight Rules for tactical execution

10 JUDGEMENT AND IDEAS

Judgement calls in three stages The joy of crises 50:50s The false hope of ideas A technique for producing ideas

11 MANAGING THE PROCESS

Anyone can adopt efficient practices Covey’s four activity boxes Rethinking the notion of time Create a timetable Proactively managing interruptions Clearing roadblocks “Sharpening the saw” “To do” lists and “checklists” Deal with the worst thing first Prioritization and efficiency Endeavour is the key

PART FOUR: People

12 SELF-ESTEEM

People skills are vital Low self-esteem – the distorting mirror Deconstructing low self-esteem The fight back Judged by intentions, not actions See the best in others Spreading positivity

13 DEALING WITH THE BOSS

Three types of bad boss The Pisstaker’s Charter Developing better responses Understand their weaknesses Developing win–win situations

14 PROGRESS AS AN EMPLOYEE

Understand the organization When opportunity knocks, open the door Become the boss’s adviser High-FFs and delegation Commit to the organization “Thank God it’s today”

15 NETWORKING AND INTERVIEWS

Forget playground experiences Generating rapport Networking potential Networking don’ts Should any openings come up . . . Dealing with interviews Avoiding self-sabotage

16 LEADERSHIP

Leadership suits the High-FF A new approach to leadership The crucial ability: empathy The paradox of success One minute management Make others feel important Maslow’s hierarchy of needs The hiring gambit Spotting curious people It won’t always work Inspiring leadership Motivating a team Loyalty runs down the hierarchy, not up Using High-FF traits to our advantage

PART FIVE: Me Inc.

17 THE HIGH-FF ENTREPRENEUR

The entrepreneurial myth Traits for sustainability Terror is unavoidable

18 ALTERNATIVE PATHS FOR THE HIGH-FF

“Partnerships don’t work” Typical High-FF partnership failings Towards strong partnering When partnerships go wrong The positive side of partnerships Freelancing and consultancy work The franchising alternative Developing a mental autonomy

CONCLUSION – THE POINT OF RECOVERY

Quit obsessing Be self-critical In defence of melancholy Choosing to serve Empower others

SEVEN STEPS TO NAVIGATING FEAR OF FAILURE

Step One: Discover your true values Step Two: Visualize your goals Step Three: Develop the milestones Step Four: Establish a strategy and some tactics Step Five: Execute efficiently Step Six: Deal with people Step Seven: Find your unique gift

BIBLIOGRAPHY ABOUT ROBERT KELSEY Index

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