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Index
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
Preface: One Should Never Read a Book on the Toilet
Beginnings, or, a Beginning, or, How This Book Begins
A Portrait of the Artist
“Didn’t Work for Me”
Her Laughter
An Angel of the Lord
My Education, or, the Education of a Me, or, I Not Dumb
Louvre Audio Tour for Homeowners
Putting It Out There
My Manifesto
I Think I Just Met God
Politician’s Promise
Hitler Dinner Party: A Play
My Speech to the Graduates of This Fine Institution
What I’m Looking for in Another Man
The Phil Spector I Knew
Meaningful Poem
Martin Luther King Jr.’s Worst Speech Ever
Free Speech for All!
A Hazy Christmas Memory
Baseball Players’ Poems about Sportswriters and Sportswriting
The Origin of “Blackbird”
I Misspoke
I Found a Jackson Pollock!
Abs
Shakespeare in the Park
What to Do in Case of Fire
The Second Meeting of Jesus and Lazarus
Actual-Factual New Jesus Facts
So You Want to Get a Tattoo!
A Vision of the Future
Obit for the Creator of Mad Libs
That’s Quite Enough of You, Odenkirk
Other Books by This Author
About the Author
Acknowledgments
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