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Index
Everything you know about English is wrong ENGLISH WRONG ENGLISH WRONG SKOSH, TEMPURA A.D./B.C. FEMALE OUTRAGE THREE SHEETS TO THE WIND RESOUND PEN, PENCIL, PENIS, PEST, PESTER (IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER) JOURNEYMAN GARDENIA MINUSCULE THROWS AND THROES CHILE/CHILI/CHILLY PEANUT CURMUDGEON TEETOTALER DIALOGUE TRIAGE Reredundancy Rerevisited HOI POLLOI SAHARA ISLAND-ISLAND LUKEWARM GOOD GOOD REDUNDANCY The Grammar Damner PLURAL’S RBI WE, MYSELF, AND I A OR AN CANNOT The Broken Are Made to Be Rules E.I. E.I., PART II (AND THEREFORE, I.E.) SUBJECT-VERB AGREEMENT VOWEL RULES WHO, WHOM, WHOOMER, WHOOMEST BETWEEN CONJUNCTIONS Acronymania: Specious Histories & Ignorant Twaddle _ SHIT (BLUSH BLUSH) POSH GOLF FUCK (BLUSH BLUSH) GORP NEWS TIPS SIC Notymology, and Other Tales from the Bullshitternet _ BULLSHITTERNETISMS JIFFY PUMPERNICKEL SOS SNOB SCAERMLBD WORDS EPONYMS BUG, COMPUTER BARBECUE KILL TESTIFY HONEYMOON SIRLOIN FIRED!, YOU’RE LIES IN THE 1500s DANCERS OF SPEAKING ENGLISH Can’t We Even Get Our Own Cliches Right? CONCISION GHOTI GREEK TO ME, IT’S ALL JESUS CHRIST, ENGLISH SPEAKER BURNS, ROBERT AND STEINBECK, JOHN THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING TWAIN, MARK TIME, AT THIS POINT IN DONNE, AND UN-DONNE CHURCHILL, WINSTON (PART I) CHURCHILL, WINSTON (PART II) BRITISH VS. AMERICAN ENGLISH I Am Aware of the Target I’m Placing on My Back IMPACT, AS VERB HOPEFULLY AIN’T ITS/IT’S OVEREXAGGERATION ANOTHER DOUBLE NEGATIVES EATS TEACH/LEARN UTILIZE Mistakes COULD THE BIG CHEESE HANGNAIL ISLE/ISLAND BLINDFOLD BUTTONHOLE MANO A MANO REPLENISH MISTLETOE CRAYFISH DORD You Don’t Speak Latin, and Not a Whole Lot of Greek, Either ENDING A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION SPLIT INFINITIVES SPLIT INFINITIVES, PART II 4 '... ER, PART 2 SPLIT INFINITIVES, PART 3 ET CETERA ET CETERA, ETC. KplTpiA— IS OR ARE? KUDOS DEBT Oh, Stop Being So Cranky, or I’ll Give You Something to Be Cranky About _ COHORT DECIMATE, PART I DECIMATE, PART II THE SAHARA DESERT, PART II LIGHT/LITE, NIGHT/NITE FIGURATIVE/LITERAL DATA Y’ALL English Is Not from England, and Other Little Surprises ENGLISH (THE LANGUAGE) ADJECTIVE NONCE-WORD CAN HYPHENS, AS OPPOSED TO DASHES OXYMORON PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICO- VOLCANOCONIOSIS ETYMOLOGY THESAURUS LINGUISTIC TERMINOLOGY COMMA FAULTS Animal Farm ASININE PUSSYFOOT HOGWASH OINKOINK SWINE COWARD GREYHOUND Abecedarianisms QOPH LETTERS GRAY/GREY ET CETERA, ETC., AND SO ON AND SO FORTH AND BLAH BLAH BLAH. VOWELS, PART I VOWELS, PART II VOWELS, PART III VOWELS, PART IV (AND I MEAN THE ALPHABET LETTERS, NOT THE ROMAN NUMERALS) ME, MYSELFS, AND I Making Fun, Having Fun KNIGHT CENTER/CENTRE, THEATER/THEATRE TEAM CELSIUS, COOL REGARD FOR SONG LYRICS VEGETARIAN SCRABBLE PIG-ASS GREASE STEINBECK, JOHN WORD (NEGATED) The Few-Chore! (which of course is how we’ll be spelling/uture in the future)_ CHILDREN HELL OH HELL EMOTICONS TEH Final Words THE SECTION ABOUT “FINAL WORDS,” NOT SO FINAL BECAUSE IT’S PART I THE SECTION ABOUT “FINAL WORDS,” WHICH (WE ALL HOPE) MIGHT TRULY BE FINAL BECAUSE IT’S PART II Afterword Selected Bibliography Index of Th ings You Don't Know Index of Things You Don’t Know ] 39 : 57 About the Author
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