Conclusion
LIVING IN RECOVERY
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
—Rheinhold Niebuhr (the Serenity Prayer)
Congratulations! You have just completed the first twelve weeks of the better mood recovery program. I hope that the program has lived up to its name and that you are closer to recovery than you were twelve weeks ago. In this week, you will have the chance to assess the progress you have made as well as define your new goals.
Assessing Your Progress
The first thing I would like you to do is to assess what progress you have made over the past twelve weeks.
1) Let's start by looking over the goals for the better mood program which you wrote on page 155 during the first week. Have you met any of these goals? If so, which ones? If you have not yet achieved your goals, are you aware of any progress you have made toward them?
2) Now look over the vision statement you wrote during week one. Have any of the goals or desires contained in vision statement come to pass? Do you feel that your vision of wellness is any more real now than it was when you first started? Do you want to revise your vision statement in light of what you have learned?
3) Look through the ratings from the past few weeks of your mood diary. How do the numbers of your general mood compare to where they were 12 weeks ago? Have you noticed any movement out of the negative numbers into the positive ones?
4) Take a moment and turn to Page 141 where you listed the self-care activities that you were practicing at the beginning of the program. Then, ask yourself, “Which self-care activities have I since added to my life?” Write down in pen all of the self-care activities that you are now practicing in your life on the blank template on the opposite page. You may wish to look at your “Healthy Lifestyle Schedule” on page 306 which lists these activities.
When you have completed this process, you will have a clear picture of your “Personalized Better Mood Program” as it exists right now. Has it changed from where you were at the beginning of the program?
I do hope that in answering the above questions that you have been able to see measurable progress in your situation. If you have not seen such progress (or perhaps feel worse), please consider answering the following questions:
- Have there been any major stressful events in your life over the past 12 weeks?
- Have you been faithfully applying the principles and tools of this program?
- Has your medication decreased in effectiveness? If so, you might want to pursue a medication change or adjustment?
- Have you been working with a counselor and/or a “buddy” over the past 12 weeks?
- Have you been receiving adequate social support?
If any of the above areas has been out of balance, making proper adjustments can get you back on track. Don't give up. Keep trying. Review the 12-week program and continue using its tools until something clicks.
Taking the Next Steps
Now that you have looked back and assessed the progress you have made, it is time to look ahead and see where you want to go. Some suggestions are listed on page 344.
Healing From Depression and Anxiety: My Personalized Better Mood Program
The Goal: To experience a better mood, free from depression and anxiety.
In the space below, write down in pen those self-care activities that are now a part of your daily life. Then, write in pencil those self-care activities that you would like to add to your daily life.
As you continue to work the better mood program, you will hopefully be adding these new activities to your wellness program.
1) Set the intention to heal. As always, your desire to be well and the clarity you have in creating a vision of healing are the driving forces behind your recovery. On a separate piece of paper, write your vision of wellness as it exists right now. Continue to read your vision statement on a daily basis, revising it as you feel called to do so.
2) Set new goals. I encourage you to create a new set of mental health goals for the next twelve weeks. On the opposite page I have reprinted the goal sheet that you used at the beginning of this program. Use your vision statement and your desire to reduce your current symptoms as a way of defining new goals.
Another way you can create more goals is to turn to the diagram of the “Personalized Better Mood Program” that you just created on page 343. Ask yourself, “Are there any new self-care activities would I like to add to my current program?” If the answer is “yes,” write these down in pencil below the current activities which you listed in ink. You may also transfer them to you new goals sheet.
3) Continue to use your weekly goal sheets to break your long term goals into manageable parts.
4) Starting with Lesson 3, Physical Self-Care, go back over the program. Or you may wish to review the chapters in an order that suits you. Whatever your strategy, continue to build upon the foundation of wellness that you have created. The more of these self-care strategies that you apply in your daily life, the better you will feel and the more likely it is that demons of depression and anxiety will be kept at bay.
As you may have surmised, there is nothing new or radical in what I have suggested. The better mood program is a simple integrated approach to living a healthy and balanced life. But simple does not mean easy. Developing and sticking to good habits requires persistence and discipline (ask anyone who has quit smoking). But the dedication is worth it. Having spent too many days in the darkness, I do not wish to return; and I am confident that neither do you.
My New Goals For The Better Mood Recovery Program:
In the space below, list at least three goals that reflect the changes that you would like to see over the next 12 weeks. These goals should reflect changes in the following areas of your life:
1) Your thinking
2) Your feelings
3) Your physical well being’
4) Your behaviors
One simple way to create a goal is to take a current symptom (e.g. poor sleep) and turn it into its opposite (sound and restful sleep). Thus, the problem of low self-esteem would become the goal of “healthy self-esteem;” the problem of difficulty making decisions would become the goal of “improvement in decision making,” etc.).
To locate symtoms you wish to heal, you can refer to the symptoms you listed on question 4 of the Depression Inventory, pg. 133. Now proceed to write your goals.
Goals
List any further goals below.
1)
2)
3)
Remember that for progress to occur, you will need the support of other people. Continue to meet with your buddy/coach as well as with your counselor/therapist. Stay involved with people, whether it is through your family, friends, church, work or a through a volunteer position. Set a goal to join a depression support group such as the one described in Appendix B. If you can't find one, 12-step groups or other support groups are also excellent.1
Also remember that progress toward health is not a straight line. Periods of forward movement are sometimes interrupted by unwanted setbacks. Take heart that progress will continue, as shown by Patricia's story on the facing page.
Above all, try to be at peace with your condition. Some people have diabetes, others heart disease; you get to deal with depression. By applying the strategies described in this program, and by drawing upon other resources in this book, you can take small steps to improve the quality of your life. Remember, life is not always about fairness, but about how gracefully we learn the teachings of our unique path. Best wishes on your transformational journey.
Patricia's Story: “I Am Grateful for the Little Things”
The following story was written by one of group members who describes the long and arduous period of rebuilding her life after a serious breakdown at the age of 26.
Twelve years ago I had a job in the center of the New York art world. It was all the things I had ever dreamed it could be; high-powered, glamorous, exciting, financially remunerative. I could afford my own apartment in Manhattan, occasional trips to Europe, good books, wonderful food. I spent the summers working in the Hamptons, was strong and fit and loving New York. Then, due to some badly administered prescription drugs, I had a horrible nervous breakdown. The drug reaction created a combination of high anxiety, severe depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder that had me washing my hands hundreds of times a day. I left New York for Ohio, for what I thought would be a few months, to try to put myself back together again. I never lived in New York again.
It was my psychiatrist in Ohio who gave me the first ray of hope that I could get better. “Your house (psyche) has been razed to the ground,” Dr. Swanson said. “We will rebuild it, with a foundation so strong it will never fall down again.” It took me 10 years for the rebuilding to occur, for me to come all the way back, mentally and emotionally. For the first two years, I couldn't even work. Simple chores like mopping the floor, grocery shopping, or doing laundry that I once would have done without a second thought took hours and left me exhausted. I often fell asleep after finishing one of them, although I slept 11 hours every night.
My first job, after two years of gradual healing, was as a bus girl. Whereas once I made many thousands of dollars a year, now I worked for a meal and a few dollars an hour. But that job gave me enough confidence to apply for my next job, as a bookstore clerk. After three more years, I was about 70% back. I fell in love, married a wonderful man and moved to the Pacific Northwest, still working for a bookstore. Then I took a stint in an art supply store for two years. Finally, I was able to reenter the art world on a very small scale. Now I work at the library, paint, show and teach. My marriage is solid. I'm back to 100% of where I was before, emotionally, mentally and artistically and beginning to push beyond that to deeper levels of healing.
I am so very grateful to have my life back again. When I remember what it was like to be sick, I almost cry with relief and gratitude that I once again have a mind that works and a spirit that can feel joy as well as sadness. I am most grateful for the little things, the simple things—waking up slowly over a cup of coffee; basking in the warmth of the returning sun; lying on the couch and reading the Sunday paper; losing myself in a good book; trading stories and jokes over dinner with good friend; watching the light glisten on the leaves; listening to bird song, the wind in the trees, or the sound of a slow soaking; feeling at peace; going for a quiet walk in the park; taking a road trip alone to the mountains, absorbing the landscape along the way; feeling both loving and lovable; and most of all, being able to paint again.
I have rebuilt my life, in many ways better than before. I doubt I shall ever again have the material abundance that I once had. But I have learned that material things can vanish in an instant. I put more value on relationships, spiritual and artistic growth building community, healing self and others than on reacquiring the things I once owned. I am hopeful that I have reached the goal that my psychiatrist set for me when we first met in the hospital—to rebuild my house on foundations so strong it will never fall down again. I feel like Estelle peixa, Portuguese for starfish, an idiom meaning “the creature which regenerates from deep wounds and creates joy.”