Before having children, I had no idea how big kids’ parties would be. I remember my birthday parties as a kid, always at home with games and my mother serving sandwiches, cookies, and cake. Kids’ parties are very different now, beginning at about age three, where they are thrown with at-home entertainment or hosted at a recreational venue. If you are navigating these festivities for the first time, it can feel stressful. Many insecurities and doubts arise, like:
What do I tell the host?
Maybe it’s easier to just decline . . .
What if my child eats cheese at the party?
Do I tell the other parents our party food is vegan?
Will the other kids eat our food?
I can’t do this!!!
Yes you can! I am going to address all of these concerns and more. It will be easier than you imagine. Remember what I mentioned in the introduction: It’s not the vegan part of parenting that’s difficult, it’s the parenting part—period! Let’s get this plant-powered party started!
You’re not throwing a vegan party for your child; you are throwing a birthday party. There’s no need to label the party as vegan if it may unnecessarily overwhelm parents. Birthday parties typically have character or activity themes (ex: fairies, dinosaurs, swimming, skating), rather than food themes. You don’t even need to inform the guests that the food is plant-based (unless someone inquires for dietary reasons). We all eat some plant foods; our kids simply exclusively plant foods! Send out the invites and bypass unnecessary food perceptions. Serve the food, and they will love it!
We are parenting the food allergy generation. When I was a girl, I had never heard of nut, egg, or dairy allergies. In fact, PB&J sandwiches were a mainstay at parties (and in school lunches). Now, we are hyper-alert, and as parents hosting birthday parties, we need to be allergy-aware. If a child has a serious allergy, rest assured, that parent will tell you. But it’s always a good idea to check with parents about any allergies, especially to nuts. Here are some meal and snack ideas sure to be a hit at your weegan’s party.
After hosting and attending dozens of parties with our girls, I’ve learned there are two food groups for parties: pizza and hot dogs. If you want to play it safe, choose one of those options and make it vegan! Yes, there are a few other foods that kids enjoy at parties, like veggie sushi and . . . wait, I can’t think of the second. That’s because it’s always pizza and hot dogs! I have tried serving other foods. And I have also watched kids cry at parties because they aren’t having pizza or hot dogs!
Hot dogs are easiest because veggie dogs are so similar to meat-based hot dogs. Pick up some whole-grain hot dog buns and ketchup, and you’re set. Or, if you can order vegan pizzas, do so. Otherwise, pick up some pizza shells, tomato sauce, and vegan cheese and make a few cheese pizzas. You can play around with other toppings if you want to do a more customized “pizza party,” but most kids just want cheese pizza.
Whole foods mama note: “Wait!” you might be saying. “Dreena, these aren’t the healthiest plant-based foods—they are very processed!” Indeed, they are more processed. But they are still healthier than their meat and dairy counterparts. Remember that kids attending your birthday parties likely do not eat a plant-powered diet. My four-year-old is asking for quinoa for her birthday this year. Will I give it to her? Yes—when we celebrate as a family! At her birthday party with friends? No. It’s one day of the year, and you want your child to have fun at her party! It’s not fun watching other kids cry about being served hummus at a party—for you or your kiddo. (I cry when I don’t have hummus, but that’s another story.) Serve food that is familiar, just made plant-based. When it comes to birthday parties, I check my whole-foods hat at the party door. You might be able to slip in some whole wheat hot dog buns (I always do, and the kids are fine with them). And, you might even get spelt flour in that birthday cake (I do that, too). If not, it’s okay. It’s a party. It’s not every day. They will eat chips and cookies and lick the frosting off cupcakes. Enjoy the day, and have a cookie or two yourself!
Desserts are also pretty standard for birthday parties. There is usually a cake or cupcakes, and sometimes cookies (or ice cream treats).
Here are some dessert recipes perfect for birthday parties:
•Cakes: Chocolate Sweet Potato Cake (page 207), Sugar ’n Spice Cake (page 204)
•Frostings: Chocolate Sweets Frosting (page 209), Lemon Cream Cheese Frosting (page 208), Chocolate Ganache (page 211)
•Cookies: Vanilla Bean Chocolate Chip Cookies (page 185), “Nicer” Krispie Squares (page 186), Crazy Brownies (page 182), Nut-Free “Frosted Brawnies” (page 193)
•Apple Nachos Supreme! (page 218)
•A+ Caramel Apples (page 216)
•Fudgesicles (page 202), Fruitsicles! (page 198)
Depending on the age of the kids, length of the party, time of year, and number of kiddos attending, you might want to include extra snacks. I think fruit and veggies are essential at parties, as they are very hydrating. Here are some snack ideas:
•Fruit trays: Load with berries, orange wedges, sliced watermelon (always welcome at parties!), sliced honeydew or cantaloupe, and/or grapes. Also try “Shake and Take” Apples (see sidebar on page 247).
•Veggie trays: Load with sliced cucumbers, mini carrots or carrot sticks, sliced red bell pepper, grape tomatoes, etc. Serve with a sauce or dip, like Cheesy Caesar Dressing (page 106) or Hummus 101 (page 84).
•Chickpea Nibbles (page 77)
•Nachos with Mild Cheesy Dip (page 83) or Motsa’ Dip (page 94)
•Popcorn (pop at home or store-bought)
•Baked chips and tortilla chips
•Popcorn or rice cakes
•Seaweed snacks (most kids love them)
If hosting a sleepover or smaller party, especially for older children, a few different food options may be enjoyed. Ask your children what their friend likes to eat—have them ask their friend(s)! They may love foods like sushi, beans, sweet potatoes, and tofu. Our girls love Chickpea Nibbles (page 77) and they always tell me their friends ask for them at school! Try serving with Home Fries (page 152) or alongside pizza. For a recent sleepover, we picked up some veggie sushi and I paired it with Simplest Marinated Baked Tofu (page 78). Breakfasts for sleepovers can be fun because you can whip up pancakes (page 32) or Cinnamon French Toast (page 36)! For a shortcut, pick up some vegan waffles, slather with a little almond butter, top with fruit, and drizzle on pure maple syrup—you’ll be a star with the kids!
Many of the same food tips apply with sending your kiddo out to a non-vegan party.
But because you don’t have control of the food being served, some advance planning is needed to ensure your little one has food to eat.
Most invites don’t include party food details. So when you call or email to RSVP, politely inquire about the food. I always try to make it easy for the host, so that they do not feel pressured to figure out what to serve. So, I might say something like . . .
Once you’ve decided what food you are serving at the party, can you zip me a quick email to let me know? We don’t eat milk/meat/eggs, so we will send along the equivalent for _ to eat at the party. If you’re having pizza, I’ll bring a couple of slices of pizza, or if hot dogs, our daughter will bring her veggie dog. We’ll also bring a cupcake or frozen ice cream treat. It’s not a problem at all. We do it all the time!
This takes the pressure off of the host. You do need to be a little more prepared than others for parties, prepping a hot dog or pizza, but it’s worth it. If you can coordinate using leftovers from your own pizza or hot dog night, all the better! If you don’t have time to make cupcakes, pick up some vegan cake/cupcakes. Or bring a couple of cookies. If there will be an ice cream cake at the party, send along a vegan frozen treat (we are fortunate to have many choices now). Pack it in a lunch bag with an ice pack and ask the host to pop it in the freezer when you arrive. Parents are usually very understanding, and often curious! As with hosting a party, just be mindful not to include any nut products in any cakes or cookies you send along.
What if your child eats something at the party that you don’t want him to eat? What if he munches on a Rice Krispie treat, some Goldfish crackers, or a slice of cheese?
It’s probably going to happen. Unless you are hanging out at the party (when kids are young), it is really easy for kiddos to mistakenly eat something with animal products. You can talk to the host, but truly it’s not their job to monitor your child’s food consumption at the party. Plus, many plant-based foods resemble their dairy/meat counterparts now. Our children can be easily confused, at least when they are young.
Once, after a preschool party, our youngest girl told me she ate a piece of cheese. Her teacher stepped in and told her it would make her tummy sore. Thank goodness for caring teachers! At four years old, that difference is hard to understand. She could have eaten quite a few pieces and indeed it would have made her feel sick because she is not used to digesting dairy. I always prepare treats for parties, but this was a “potluck” party, and slips sometimes happen. While I was pretty repulsed that she ate the cheese, that one slip didn’t hurt her, and it opened up more age-appropriate discussion. Similar slips have happened with our other girls too, mostly with party chips (many have milk ingredients) and some breads. Learn from the experience, rather than fret about it.
Your child will almost certainly return with a loot bag of little toys and junk food. Be prepared with food swap-outs in your house. If your child pulls a mini milk chocolate bar out of the loot bag, you can swap it with a small vegan chocolate treat. I haven’t had much objection to these swaps, and sometimes they aren’t even necessary. Children are often so full and tired after a party that they aren’t immediately interested in loot bag food. Once you get them settled at home you can have a chat about the food if needed.
It’s easier than ever to eat a plant-powered diet. There are more food options and broader awareness. Most people have some general ideas about what a “plant-based” or “vegan” diet is. With this awareness comes more understanding. Nevertheless, the plant-powered diet is not understood fully by the majority, and not always accepted by medical professionals. Your children will likely encounter some negative reactions from peers. You can help them understand these reactions and mitigate any discomfort they may have.
I have talked to our girls from an early age about our food in ways they could understand at their respective ages. Recently, while we were waiting outside our four-year-old’s preschool before class began, one of the other children greeted our daughter, exclaiming, “Why don’t you eat animals?!”
I could have answered the question for our daughter, but this little girl was talking to my daughter, not to me. It was an innocent question and didn’t need my adult response. So, I waited to see what our daughter would say. She replied with enthusiasm, “Because we are vegan!” Simple enough. That was the end of that conversation!
Children work through many of these interactions very seamlessly and don’t need our intervention. Sometimes as parents, because we do know all the complexities of the diet, we want to jump in and answer. But we don’t always need to do so. Our children may discuss it with their peers in ways that work for their age. If, however, peer pressure becomes challenging or uncomfortable, or if a parent is questioning our child about her diet, this is when we can step in to assist. Help your children understand that negative or hurtful remarks about their diet are unacceptable, even from friends. Help them respond in age-appropriate ways that do not engage more negativity or confrontation. For instance, one of our daughters had a third-grade classmate say, “Eww, your food is vegan.” My daughter told me and we agreed that if it happened again she could simply say, “Yes, my food is vegan and I love it.” Those are facts. If the boy continued to engage her, we agreed she could simply ignore him. In this case, nothing else happened (most issues resolve easily). More often than not, other children will be curious about your child’s interesting foods! But it’s important to prepare our kids for insensitive reactions.
As children mature, we can discuss more details, explaining how and why a plant-powered diet is compassionate, healthy, and environmentally conscious. At age four, our daughter understood: We don’t eat animals, drink cow’s milk, or eat eggs because we are vegan; our diet is good for our bodies and kind to animals. That’s pretty much all she needed at age four. Build on the knowledge as they grow, so your children can relate and respond to peer curiosity calmly and with confidence.
