Step #1: Create a New Perspective on Health
We all have a story about our life and our health—where we’ve been, where we are, and where we think we’re going. We may have told this story to ourselves or others a thousand times. But what if where you are right now or what challenges you have faced in the past don’t matter? What if you knew the truth—that your body was designed to heal? What if your story was a love story?
You’ve probably been taught that you have to go outside yourself, to doctors and experts, to be “fixed.” What if instead you knew that while doctors and experts can provide insightful guidance, you have a great power inside of you? Well, it’s true—you do!
“Perfect health is my Divine right, and I claim it now.”
— Louise
You have the power to start listening to your body. Your body, like everything else in life, is a mirror of your inner thoughts and beliefs. Every cell responds to every thought you think and every word you speak, so continuous patterns of thoughts and beliefs can produce body behaviors and patterns of eases and dis-eases. The more you get to know your body and the better you listen to it, the more it will guide you to good health. We will talk more specifically about this throughout this book. Right now, though, just know this: If you experience a health challenge, Life is inviting you to love yourself. In other words, no matter what your problem is, there is only one answer: loving yourself.
Whenever you deal with a health issue, your body is asking you to be kinder to yourself, and that starts with loving yourself a little more each day. Think about the person or the animal you love the most—how do you feel when you think of them? Settle into that for a moment, and really feel it. Loving yourself means you can feel that same amount of love you just felt for them. If it feels too hard to love yourself that much, know that you’re not alone.
As you start loving yourself more, you’ll easily give yourself what you need, without waiting until you’ve done everything else on your to-do list. Sometimes, though, you may not even know what you need. As you read this book, you will learn the tools to help you recognize what your body needs most from you to feel healthy, happy, energized, and strong.
The fact that you have found Loving Yourself to Great Health means that you are ready to love yourself and make a positive change in your health. We acknowledge you for this, and we invite you to acknowledge yourself as well!
And now, what if you could craft a new story? In this chapter, we want to share some new ways to write your love story.
What Is Health?
To answer this question, we felt it was important to look briefly at how science views health, including the biggest issues we see today. (Don’t worry—we will be brief and promise not to get too technical!) Because in the middle of this science, there is a deeper story here that we want to highlight.
You see, two facts came out of our quick look at how science views health:
These two facts, to us, mean two very important truths:
A Quick Peek at How Science Views the Current State of Health
At one time, the biggest health concern was infectious diseases that you could catch from others, such as tuberculosis and HIV. By 2008, however, the World Health Organization reported that the trend in health had shifted from infectious disease to what they called “noncommunicable diseases.” Such diseases—like cancer, heart disease, and diabetes—are largely considered chronic and are not contagious.1
What’s interesting about this shift is that noncommunicable diseases have four major contributors based on our lifestyle:
What we are seeing now is that the choices we make each day affect our health. Instead of a danger being “out there,” the opportunity we have every day is to choose to love our bodies and treat them well. While the World Health Organization states it in more scientific language, they do report that if we make better lifestyle choices, we can impact our health tremendously.
Autoimmune Disease: When the Body No Longer Recognizes Itself
One category of noncommunicable disease is autoimmune disease, which occurs when the immune system attacks healthy organs and tissue in the body. In other words, the immune system can no longer tell the difference between healthy tissue and harmful substances such as bacteria, viruses, and other pathogens.
To us, this feels like the body no longer recognizes itself, and the cells no longer recognize what is healthy. Think about this for a moment. If one thinks negative, unloving thoughts about the body and oneself, how will the cells know not to similarly attack themselves?
Research shows that there are at least 100 different autoimmune conditions. As of 2005, nearly 24 million Americans were diagnosed with autoimmune illnesses and the numbers are on the rise worldwide, particularly in Western, industrialized nations. Seventy-five percent of sufferers are women, often of childbearing age.2 In fact, autoimmune conditions are one of the leading causes of death in young and middle-aged women, the second leading cause of chronic illness, and the third leading cause of Social Security disability (after heart disease and cancer).3
Some common autoimmune conditions are4:
Examples of disorders also thought to be related to autoimmune conditions are autism, chronic fatigue syndrome, eating disorders5, Lyme disease, and narcolepsy.
Autoimmune symptoms often involve pain, fatigue, fever, and general lack of well-being; most are considered chronic and incurable. A perplexing aspect to autoimmune conditions is that most people show no outward signs that they are sick and appear perfectly healthy to their friends and loved ones. In fact, until someone is diagnosed, they are often told that the symptoms are “all in your head” or a result of anxiety. Unfortunately, many with autoimmune illness have been viewed as hypochondriacs.
Scientists around the world have been baffled by the rising numbers of autoimmune diagnoses and can find no cause. The current theory is that the environment, genetics, and lifestyle could be contributing to the increase in these types of conditions.
Stress: Chronic Negative Thoughts Become Beliefs and Habits
Most experts will agree that stress is at the heart of all illness and disease.
To find out how science sees stress, we looked to the American Psychological Association (APA). They describe it as a feeling of being worried, overwhelmed, or run-down.6 In their 2012 report on stress in America, they found that instead of decreasing, stress was either staying the same or increasing for 80 percent of survey respondents. In addition, 20 percent of respondents felt that they were experiencing “extremely high” stress.7
Where do these feelings of being worried and overwhelmed come from? How do you get to the point where you feel run-down? It all starts with a thought. Over time, chronic negative thoughts turn into beliefs and habits. Pretty soon, your lifestyle is based on these negative thoughts, beliefs, and habits, creating chronic stress—and chronic stress has a devastating effect on your health.
If you’re overwhelmed, what are you thinking about? You are likely thinking about everything you have on your to-do list. The more you think about how much you have to do and how little time there is to do it, the more overwhelmed you feel.
What about if you’re worried? Worrying is often about going over the past and wishing you could change something, or fixating on the future and what could happen.
And if you are run-down, like so many people today, it could likely be that you have said yes to so many things that you aren’t giving yourself time to rest and replenish. Perhaps you know that you would benefit from setting boundaries, but it feels too difficult to say no.
The habit of negative thinking can absolutely contribute to endless cycles of chronic stress, which has a direct and profound effect on your health. While some stress is actually good for the body, chronic stress creates challenges. Studies show that emotions are not just something in your mind—your body is impacted by emotions as well.8 For example, when you’re angry, your body tenses up, your digestive organs become rigid, your heart rate increases, and your jaw and facial muscles contract.
We’ll talk more about the mind and body connection in Chapter 3; for now, we want to share what happens to your body when you’re under stress. When stress becomes chronic, it sends a danger signal that stops blood from rushing to your brain, immune system, and digestive system and instead directs it to your limbs so that you can outrun the danger.9, 10 This means that your body cannot digest properly, your immune system cannot protect you, and your brain cannot think straight. Studies show that brains can even shrink under prolonged stress.11
Under chronic stress, your nervous system is no longer in balance. What was once a harmonious relationship between the sympathetic nervous system (which mobilizes your nervous system’s fight-or-flight response) and parasympathetic nervous system (which helps you rest, sleep, digest, and heal) is now tipped toward the sympathetic nervous system. In effect, chronic stress keeps you revved up and hypervigilant, making it hard for you to rest, replenish, and nourish your body.
If you are experiencing chronic stress, know that you are not alone.
Perhaps, like so many today, you have learned that life is not safe. No matter what you’ve been taught or what you believe in this moment, though, we want you to know that as you step into your love story, you will see how safe and supported you are. We are going to show you how to shift from chronic stress to thoughts and beliefs that support your health and happiness. This book is chock-full of ways you can reduce the stress felt by your mind and body. No matter where you are now when it comes to stress, you can always come back and heal.
Disconnection = Dis-ease
The Blue Zones by Dan Buettner examines the top solutions for living longer and better from some of the world’s longest-living communities. Three of the nine solutions that he recommends have to do with connection: (1) connection to a spiritual community, (2) connection to family, and (3) connection to an inner circle or “tribe” of friends. Interestingly, while Buettner didn’t include this as one of his “Power 9,” all of the “Blue Zone” populations he studied also had a connection to the earth. They all gardened and ate fresh, whole foods.
These days, priorities have shifted because lives have become busier. We don’t connect as much as we used to, and when we do, there is often a barrier of technology between us. While many people joke about it, seeing people eating dinner together and checking their phones, texting, and posting on Facebook has become more common than being in the present moment and relating to one another.
The concept of family dinner is becoming a rarity in most homes. On top of this, we see a lot of people eating on the run: in their cars, at their desks, or while watching TV or surfing the web. This shows not only a disconnection from others during meals, but also a disconnection from ourselves. We are no longer connected to the loving and sensory act of nourishing our bodies.
Over time, as our habits changed as a society, our food system has also changed. The fast- and manufactured-food industries grew as a way to allow people to eat quickly, on the run, and with minimal effort. Science has found ways to make “food-like” chemicals so that meals would cook faster, taste better, and make people come back for more.
Manufactured foods are not food at all. In fact, we believe that synthetic, manufactured foods are the final disconnection: They disconnect us from the earth and nature. They deny who we are and what we need to function optimally as the natural beings we are.
Vikas Khanna, a top chef from India, tells a story about food and connection in his book Return to the Rivers: Recipes and Memories of the Himalayan River Valleys: “My latest stay in Bhutan in 2011 reminded me of how much my life in New York was disconnected from that world. When I am living and traveling in the Himalayas I feel intimately tied to nature in a way that I don’t anywhere else.”12
Vikas goes on to talk about how when he walks to his friend’s home, he goes through fields where the food he eats is growing. When he looks through the window of his bedroom, he sees the sheep that provided the wool in his blanket. And in the town where he goes to the farmers’ market, he knows everyone selling and bartering their goods.
What Vikas realizes in Bhutan is that he knows everyone who produces the food he eats. This not only creates connection among the community and nature, but it also creates a system of accountability, where people care about creating healthy and satisfying products for others. They feel responsible for one another’s well-being. He describes something many of us have never experienced—the deep connection that the Blue Zones communities have.
We believe that good health is about connection: to ourselves and our bodies, to nature, and to other people. And the most important step you can take to build your connection is establish a relationship with yourself. This is in fact also the key to reducing stress and eliminating dis-ease. So let’s take a look at how you can do this.
A New Perspective on Health: Your Health Is a Mirror of Your Relationship to Self
The growing “epidemic” of stress, lifestyle diseases, and autoimmune diseases has no root cause according to mainstream medicine, yet that root cause seems simple to us: it’s really an epidemic of not loving the self.
This is a new perspective on health. It’s actually not so mysterious, and it brings the power back into your hands. Your health is a mirror of your relationship to yourself and your body. We don’t believe in incurable dis-eases; we believe that illness is an invitation to change your relationship with yourself for the better.
Interestingly, new findings in science seem to agree. For example, Bruce Lipton, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized cell biologist who performed pioneering studies at Stanford University’s School of Medicine. In his book The Biology of Belief, he talks about a new paradigm of health based on the science of epigenetics.
Bruce conducted some groundbreaking experiments showing that our genes do not control biology. The idea that genes control biology is a faulty scientific assumption that was debunked by the Human Genome Project around the year 2003, a finding that fit very well with experiments Bruce was doing with cells in the lab. His experiments showed that it was not the genes that controlled the cells, but how the cells responded to the environment they were in. Bruce explains that since human beings have brains, our response to our environment is much more complex than that of a cell. We have beliefs, and it is through these beliefs that we respond to our life situation (or environment).13
What message are you giving to your cells right now?
If you believe that you are a bad person, your cells are listening. If you believe that you are sick, your cells are listening. Likewise, if you believe that you are a beautiful being worthy of love and that you are healthy, your cells are listening.
What kind of relationship do you think you are creating with yourself and your body if you’re sending negative messages and embracing negative beliefs about yourself?
Loving Yourself Is about Taking Care of Yourself
When you love yourself, you take care of your own needs. Yet too often today, people (especially women) believe they must take care of other people or other responsibilities before themselves. For example:
We believe that the real health epidemic is a disconnection from self. We think that the immune system gets a little confused when you put yourself last.
Science states that the root cause of nearly every chronic disease—inflammation —happens when the immune system can no longer tell the difference between what is good and bad for the body.14 Metaphysically, we feel that inflammation and chronic disease are really about your body loving you enough to give you a wake-up call. It’s an invitation to listen to your body and return to a state of self-love.
When babies are born, they love everything about themselves. They are fascinated by their hands and feet, and even their feces. Over time, we are taught that things about us are wrong and bad. Too often, we become ashamed of our bodies or characteristics about ourselves, and we come to feel like we’re not good enough. We learn that “the rules,” expectations of others, and proven evidence are more important than how we feel or what we want. We are taught to listen to everyone else so much that we feel we cannot trust ourselves.
It’s no surprise that under those circumstances, we’d disconnect from our inner guidance system, which Louise calls her “inner ding.” We all have one, although most of us have not been taught to listen to that inner voice, feeling, or signal that guides us.
The most beautiful thing about your body is that it has a deep knowing about what you truly need for health and happiness. In fact, one of Ahlea’s specialties is listening to what people’s bodies are asking for. She can see into the body or touch near an organ and hear what the organ is saying. She often hears what a person’s body has been trying to tell them through symptoms.
Over the past ten years of working with clients, the biggest pattern Ahlea has seen is a message of fear in the kidneys. She says that the kidneys are saying they are sad and afraid because they don’t feel protected, and that overall, bodies do not feel heard. This led us to a discussion about the child inside all of us. Too often, the inner child is forced into situations it does not want to go into, which creates a great deal of discomfort. While you may make a plan to “get through it” when you really don’t want to do something, your inner child suffers, and your organs tend to suffer as well. In order to push through things you don’t really want to do, you often have to disconnect from yourself, your inner child, or your inner guidance in some way.
The power to achieve your best health goes beyond your immune system. It all starts with a little-known secret: loving yourself. We believe that as you start to listen to your inner guidance with love, your kidneys, your immune system, and your entire body will start to feel safe. When your body feels safe, it can heal. Just remember that your body wants to heal.
Catherine: Fibromyalgia
Catherine, a woman in her 50s, came to Ahlea after having been to many doctors and receiving a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is an autoimmune disease characterized by all-over muscle and joint pain, tender points in the body, and fatigue; it often leads to depression.15
Catherine was understandably scared about her condition and how to treat it. Ahlea started slowly by teaching her some deep-breathing exercises to get more oxygen in her body, and stretching exercises to get some circulation in her tissues. She began to notice that she could breathe easier, and within a month, she felt calmer and her pain started to go away. Her nervous system was beginning to move out of fight-or-flight and into “rest and digest” mode, which allowed her body to start healing. This gave her the confidence to move forward with her health protocol.
The next step was for Ahlea to work with her on removing old physical and emotional trauma from a car accident, which happened just before the fibromyalgia showed up. As Catherine started releasing this trauma, she felt ready to move on to Ahlea’s suggested nutrition protocol.
The first thing Ahlea recommended was for Catherine to give up sugar. Within a couple of weeks, Catherine felt good enough to start doing Pilates, which allowed her to develop muscle and abdominal strength. This new strength helped to support her joints, and the pain dropped away.
The best part about Catherine’s symptoms resolving was that she started to dance. She had always wanted to do so and felt she had an inner ballerina. Pretty soon, she’d show up for her healing sessions in a leotard and dance across the room with great joy. Ahlea saw that Catherine’s inner child was thrilled to feel playful again, and that the adult Catherine trusted this newfound freedom in her body.
Stacey: Lyme Disease
Lyme disease is caused by the bacteria Borrelia burgdorferi and transmitted by the bite of an infected tick. The symptoms are flulike: achy joints, headache, fever, and fatigue. Experts are unsure as to whether chronic Lyme disease is autoimmune or nervous-system related, and some feel that it doesn’t even exist.16
However, patients are well aware of the symptoms, including Stacey, a woman in her 50s who came to see Ahlea. Stacey had been to doctor after doctor and finally received a diagnosis of Lyme disease. To treat it, Stacey was prescribed large doses of antibiotics.
The first thing Ahlea did was to work with the messages Stacey’s body was telling her. It was important for this woman to learn that her body was not attacking her; rather, it was speaking to her with love and asking her to make some changes.
The changes Ahlea had Stacey make were slow and steady. She had her client schedule some hyperbaric-chamber sessions, a type of therapy that brings more oxygen into the blood. As Stacey started feeling better, Ahlea had her focus on nutrition so that she could improve her gut health. The main nutritional focus was to add probiotics to Stacey’s diet to cultivate more good bacteria that would help her digest and heal. Ahlea also taught Stacey to do proper food combining, which is a way of eating certain foods together to make them very easy to digest.
In the year that followed, Stacey felt well enough to start walking and doing Pilates, which strengthened her body. She let go of emotions that were being held in her body, along with beliefs that were limiting her health and happiness. Within the year, Stacey felt completely recovered from Lyme disease.
♥
With autoimmune and other dis-ease conditions, we often see that the physical symptoms are accompanied by emotional trauma. When you work on both the body and the mind, the benefits increase exponentially. Later in the book, we will teach you how to listen to your body, so you can hear the story of your organs, listen to your inner child, and learn to protect yourself so that your body does not have to take on dis-ease from lack of protection. We will also share tips and techniques that you can use to love your body to good health, including many of those that Ahlea used to help Stacey to heal from Lyme.
We want you to know that if you are experiencing a chronic health condition, it is really an invitation to come back to love. We are going to share many gentle tips with you to reconnect to yourself and your body. This is a miraculous, joyful, and loving process. It is as beautiful as coming home.
Now, when you think about coming home, you can’t help but think about family and community. The thing is, you don’t have to do this alone. Reconnection to self is also about reconnecting with others—finding your tribe, your community of like-minded, supportive people. It’s important to learn to love and protect yourself. It’s just as important to have people you can lean on. People you feel have your back.
Whether or not you have a supportive community of friends and family, one thing you do have on your side is Life. Part of reconnecting is knowing that Life loves you. Life has your back. When you trust Life to support you, you are never alone. Life will always support you as you take the power of your health and happiness back into your own hands!
A Simple Health Assessment
As we’ve shown in this chapter, science is proving what we have known for a long time: you have the power to heal.
We believe that health is a reflection of your inner self. Take a moment to assess your health by checking off the statements that are true for you:
How did you do? If you checked off one or more items, congratulations! And chances are, you noticed some opportunities for improvement. Everyone has areas where they can improve their lives, and each chapter of Loving Yourself to Great Health will show you how to do just that.
Exercises to Create a New Perspective on Health
Health, just like life, is simple. What we give out, we get back. Our beliefs comprise years of thinking the same thoughts. What we think and believe about ourselves, about life, and about our health becomes our reality. The good news is, you can change your thoughts and your beliefs! These exercises will help get you started.
1. When You Don’t Know What to Do, Focus on Love
In 1985, Louise started the Hayrides, support-group meetings for people living with HIV/AIDS, along with their families and loved ones. In the ’80s, everyone was terrified of AIDS. Doctors didn’t know what to do, and people feared even touching anyone with the dis-ease. People diagnosed with HIV or AIDS lived in guilt, fear, shame, and secrecy, and often felt that death and suffering were inevitable. There was so much fear.
No one knew what to do at the time. But as author and speaker David Kessler said, “When everyone else was taking a step back, Louise Hay took a step forward.”
Louise didn’t know what to do either, but she knew one thing for certain: love heals. Her message then and now is clear: “When you don’t know what else to do, focus on love.”
In 2013, Louise had a Hayride reunion. Many of the men from the original group attended and attested to the fact that focusing on love changed everything for them. And for the men who did die during that time, attending the Hayrides made it easier to face death. They had a chance to drop their shame and experience love, connection, and forgiveness. This made the dying process more gentle and peaceful for them.
In the nearly three decades since Louise first started those meetings, so much has changed. Today, we know that people can live with HIV. We know that we can touch and hug people with HIV or AIDS and not be afraid of catching it. Yet in a society so focused on modern medical technology, it can be easy to forget that love does in fact heal. That love fosters connection. And that love breeds more love.
If you have a chronic condition or even a stressful situation and you don’t know what else to do, take a moment right now to focus on love:
Put your hands on your heart and feel your heart beating. Take deep breaths. Feel into your body. Breathe deeply into your body and invite it to relax … every muscle, every cell, relax. Now focus on the feeling of love. If you aren’t sure where to start, think of a pet or a loved one and notice how that feels. Bring that feeling right into your body. As you take deep breaths, breathe that feeling into every cell. Imagine that feeling surrounding you. Give it a color if you like—maybe green, pink, or white, or whatever feels good to you.
Feel yourself becoming enveloped in the feeling of love. Do this for five minutes each day when you wake up and before you go to bed. Start with one minute if that is all you have at first, then build up.
We also invite you to remind yourself each day to focus on love if something feels difficult or overwhelming. Notice how that shifts things for you.
2. Mirror Work and Affirmations: Sweet and Loving Thoughts Begin the Healing Journey
Mirrors reflect back to us our feelings about ourselves. They clearly show us the areas to be changed if we want to create a loving, fulfilling life. The most powerful way to do affirmations is to look in the mirror and say them out loud.
When people from all over the world who have followed Louise’s teachings were asked about their success with affirmations and mirror work, hundreds of them responded. They reported so many positive changes in their health, such as losing up to 100 pounds, dissolving autoimmune disease, overcoming addiction and eating disorders, eliminating pain, relieving stress and post-traumatic stress disorder, overcoming anxiety and insomnia, and much more. It’s amazing what can happen when you are kind and loving to yourself!
While you read this book, we suggest that you have a mirror close by so that you can use it for all of the affirmations in this book. Doing your affirmations in the mirror will allow you to look into your own eyes and notice if you are seeing resistance or love.
Let’s start with an important affirmation. Look in the mirror and say to yourself: I am willing to change.
Notice how you feel. Do you feel any resistance to change? Do you feel as if you can change? Do you even want to? Noticing how you feel about change is important, because when you’re looking at self-growth, your willingness to change can make or break your own success. This is why we want you to start with assessing your willingness to change.
If you feel resistant, know that you’re not alone. Heather used to work as a change-management expert, and part of her job was to understand such resistance —why it happens and how to support people through times of transition. Even when helpful, positive changes were introduced in companies, they could fail based on whether people embraced the change or not.
Resistance to change is actually common for several reasons. Most center around being afraid of what will be different. Human beings tend to live with the status quo because we fear what will be different about our lives if we change. Perhaps we fear we’ll lose the identity we’ve built for ourselves or we’ll have to face something that’s not working in our lives.
A woman once told Heather, “I really don’t like what I’m doing at work. I want to change my career, but my husband doesn’t work and I have to keep my job.” This woman desperately wanted to do something else and it was impacting her health, but she felt so locked into her job that she was afraid to leave. She was even afraid to hire a life coach because coaching could reveal that she would benefit from working at something entirely different. This woman was so afraid that she stayed in her job until she became so sick that she had to leave it after all.
If we let fear stop us from changing, we lose out on the opportunity to see how powerful we really are and how Life really loves us and is there for us!
Psychologists might recommend some things you can do to help with your willingness to change, such as “monitor your behaviors,” “logically sequence events,” and “examine the consequence.”17 However, we’re going to keep it simple by sharing some really great tips that you can implement starting today:
— Decide you are important enough. Louise always teaches that once you try something and you see that it worked out for you, it makes change easier because it gives you permission to do it again. The thing is, you have to give yourself permission to try it in the first place. You have to feel you are important enough to give yourself that permission, to give yourself the space to change, to prioritize it in your life, and to support yourself in being successful with the rest of these tips! Sometimes the best way to change is to just do it, just take that first step of knowing that your health and happiness are important. You are important.
— Take baby steps. Pick one small thing to do—it can be as quick and easy as you like, but do pick one thing and get started. For example, kiss your hand and say, “You are worth healing.” You can just do that for as long as you like and then move on whenever you’re ready. Remember the lesson from the tortoise and the hare: slow and steady wins the race.
— Keep it simple and gentle. The gentler you are with yourself, the better. This is not a “no pain, no gain” approach. Part of loving yourself is keeping things easy and being kind to yourself. Think about how this would feel. Remember how afraid the kidneys often are, remember your inner child, and be gentle. Here’s an example of something gentle you can say to yourself: “You are safe with me.”
— Be consistent. Keep in mind that the more you do your mirror work and practice your affirmations, the easier it will get. The more consistent you are, the more results you will experience. Think about the idea of practice—with any new skill, you don’t start out an expert. The more you practice, the better you get!
— Get helpers. One great way to build connection and to make change is to create a support system. This could be a friend, spouse, coach, family member, or whomever you feel comfortable with. Some people find or create online support groups or Facebook groups. In any event, it really helps to find a like-minded person or group to support you in doing your affirmations and sharing any roadblocks and wins you have along the way.
— Have fun! Make the process fun in whatever way you can. Laugh at yourself; be silly. Louise walks by a mirror and says, “Hi, kid, you look great today!” It doesn’t matter who’s around and, inevitably, it makes everyone smile and love her even more. Ahlea winks at herself when she passes the mirror. Heather throws her arms up in the air and jumps around after her affirmations. One of the greatest things about Louise and Ahlea’s health and bodywork sessions together is that they laugh all the time. They are doing serious work, yet it’s also fun. Remember, change and healing can be joyous!
— Celebrate even small successes. As you start to change, give yourself credit for starting! You don’t have to wait for major changes to celebrate; you can highlight the little successes you have along the way. Choose rewards that are meaningful to you, yet they can be as simple as giving yourself lots of hugs and kisses. Small children know the healing power of getting kisses from their mothers to make a “boo-boo” feel better. Kisses and hugs have great healing power, especially when you give them to yourself. It might feel silly at first, but it’s a beautiful way to be sweet to yourself.
— Think positive. Psychologists understand what Louise has been teaching for decades: Change is easier when it’s based on positive thinking, rather than guilt, shame, or fear. We have provided you with some affirmations on the next few pages so that you can reinforce your positive thoughts and beliefs!
While change can feel hard at first, there is something magical about trying out something new. It gives you the opportunity to see how strong you are. You must be strong—you wouldn’t be here reading this book if you weren’t. Or if you weren’t curious about what change could be like.
When Heather was first learning to scuba dive, she didn’t trust the breathing equipment. On her first ocean dive, the water was very choppy. By the time she swam around the boat to the front, she was already out of breath, which made her even more afraid to descend into the water. Her instructor looked her in the eyes and said, “You can go back if you want to, or you can just put your head underwater and see what you think. We’ll come right back up if you want.”
While Heather was so scared that she wanted to turn back, she felt comforted by this idea of just going under the water a small amount and deciding how she felt first. She and her instructor went under less than one foot and remained there a few minutes. This allowed Heather to see how easy it was to breathe with the equipment—it actually worked! So she agreed to go deeper very slowly, and once she felt comfortable, she proceeded to do her first dive.
After the dive, Heather felt exuberant! She overcame her fears and fell in love with scuba diving. She realized that if she hadn’t taken a baby step, she would have missed out on the feeling of being able to fly underwater. While turning back would have been fine, the experience she had was ten times better.
As you can see, if you’re wanting to try something that feels scary, being gentle with yourself and taking baby steps can help you build the courage for something bigger, and can help overcome fears about the next step and the next one after that.
Change is one of the greatest teachers. It scares us and asks us to reach deep inside ourselves for courage we didn’t even know we had. It asks us every day to prove our commitment to ourselves. It leads us into the dark places and allows us to fill them with light. It shows us things about ourselves we never knew. It allows us to recognize that failure and success are two sides of the same coin. And before we know it, it shows us how powerful and strong we are. Change doesn’t ask us to go faster or further than we are ready to go—it teaches us to listen to our hearts and take chances that will set us free.
♥
Try the following affirmations, picking one to begin with. You can choose more when you feel ready. Practice them throughout the day, whenever you feel that you need them.
Change
If you feel resistant to change, look in the mirror and affirm:
It is only a thought, and a thought can be changed.
I am open to change.
I am willing to change.
I greet the new with open arms.
I am willing to learn new things every day.
Each problem has a solution. All experiences
are opportunities for me to learn and grow. I am safe.
Loving and Accepting Yourself and Others
Look in the mirror and ask yourself: “How can I love and accept you more?” Be open and listen for an answer, a feeling, or whatever comes to you. Trust that if nothing comes to you in this moment, it will at another time. And affirm:
I accept myself and create peace in my mind and heart.
I am good enough just as I am.
I love and approve of myself.
As I forgive myself, I leave behind all feelings of not
being good enough, and I am free to love myself.
[Your name], I love you. I really love you.
I love myself.
I am special and wonderful.
I love my life.
I love this day.
It is wonderful to feel the love in my heart.
My heart is open, and I allow my love to flow freely.
I love myself, I love others, and others love me.
I forgive myself for not being the way I want me to be. I forgive myself,
and set myself free to be just the way I am. I love and accept myself as I am.
I bless you with love, and I bring harmony to this situation.
(This is a wonderful affirmation to use when someone is doing
something to disrupt the harmony of your life, as is the next one.)
I forgive you for not being the way I want you to be. I forgive you and set you free.
I cannot change another person. I let others be
who they are, and I simply love who I am.
I move beyond forgiveness to understanding, and I have compassion for all.
Health
Your health and happiness is a mirror of your relationship with yourself. Affirm:
My sweet and loving thoughts begin my healing journey.
I allow the love from my heart to wash through me, cleansing
and healing every part of my body. I know I am worth healing.
My body is always working toward optimal health.
My body wants to be whole and healthy. I cooperate
and become healthy, whole, and complete.
I now express health, happiness, prosperity, and peace of mind.
Taking Care of Yourself and Listening to Your Inner Guidance
Listening to your inner guidance and acting on it is the way to health and happiness. Remember, you are the first step in your health, and your immune system is learning from your ability to care for yourself. Your cells are learning from what you think and believe. Affirm:
I love and care for my inner child.
I trust my inner wisdom. I say no when I want
to say no, and I say yes when I want to say yes.
I am guided throughout this day in making the right choices. Divine
intelligence continuously guides me in the realization of what is right for me.
As I go about my day, I listen to my own guidance. My intuition
is always on my side. I trust it to be there at all times. I am safe.
I speak up for myself. I ask for what I want. I claim my power.
Trusting Life
You can ask Life to help you in any situation. Life loves you and is there for you, if only you’ll ask. Look in the mirror and ask Life, “What do I need?” Listen for the answer, a feeling, or whatever comes up. If nothing comes up in that moment, be open to an answer coming at a later time. And affirm:
Life loves me.
I trust things to be wonderful.
I observe with joy as Life abundantly supports and cares for me.
I know that only good awaits me at every turn.
All is well. Everything is working out for my highest good.
Out of this situation only good will come. I am safe.
3. Meditation: Reconnecting to the Earth and All Things
Your health and happiness are bolstered by your connection to yourself, other people, the earth, and all things. As you disconnect on one level, you may feel yourself disconnecting on many levels. Over time, it can start to feel like you are all alone. You can forget that Life loves and supports you.
A common pattern that Ahlea sees in her practice is that people’s bodies are crying for a connection to the earth. Humans once lived off the land; we touched the soil and understood plants and trees. Tribal communities used nature the way we use signs and Global Positioning Systems (GPS) to get from one place to another. This cry from the body that she hears is one of desperation. The less we connect to the earth and nature, the more our bodies cry out for this primal connection.
The following meditation is a way that Ahlea helps her clients reconnect to the earth, themselves, and all things. This is a very healing meditation:
Lie down in a quiet, comfortable place and close your eyes. Bring your attention into your body. Feel your breath and follow it as you breathe deeply, in and out. Continue to follow your breath until you feel your body relax.
Now imagine yourself in a beautiful field, under the most beautiful tree. You are comfortably warm and the sun is shining. You are safe and the tree is providing you shelter and shade. See and feel that safe, beautiful, comfortable space.
Feel your body sink deeper into the ground. Know that the ground is protecting and nourishing you. Feel your body growing roots right into the soil. As you continue to focus on your breath, allow the roots to get deeper and deeper, reaching into the core of the earth.
As you continue to breathe deeply, gather the loving energy from the earth and breathe it right back up through those roots and into your body. Feel how deeply connected and loving this feels. You are protected, you are nourished, you are supported, you are loved.
Feel that love and support … allow yourself to breathe it into every cell. Feel your cells respond to the connection to the earth. Now breathe deeply and feel that connection with everything around you. Breathe as if you are breathing with all of nature and all of life.
Continue to feel that connection and the love, support, and nourishment it brings. Now gather up all this love and support and feel it in your body. Trust that this connection and this love is always there for you. Anytime you think of yourself in this space, under this tree, you will feel it. Anytime you think about your roots, connecting to the earth, you will feel it.
Breathe deeply in and out for three more breaths and open your eyes.
You can take your time with this meditation or do it in just three minutes. Some people benefit from doing it daily. Once you have done this meditation and have the memory of this feeling, we encourage you to think about and trust that this energy and connection is there for you anytime you need it. This way, if you are at work or going about your day, all you need to do is remember this feeling and it will help reinforce your connection.
4. Some Beautiful Ways to Reconnect
It’s an interesting question: why do people still look so good when inside, their bodies are suffering? Our feeling is that our society has been taught to “save face” under all circumstances. We learn to paint the picture we want people to see—to press on, even if we feel like we’re dying inside. The more we do this, the more our bodies reflect that pattern.
We want you to see the other side of this coin as well. If your body is in a state of dis-ease and you still look healthy to everyone else, chances are you have a large capacity for health and resilience inside. And even if you feel you don’t look healthy on the outside, the fact that you are reading this book tells us that you are committed to creating good health. You can take this commitment and capacity for health and trust that as you show your body tender loving care, you can nurture it back to wellness. You can shift the pattern of fear and hypervigilant protection that your body is using for survival into a pattern of love, where your body trusts that you are going to be there for yourself.
The more you lovingly protect and care for yourself, the more you come back into balance. This is the greatest love story of all, and you have the power to live it!
Now that you have a new perspective on health, we are going to show you some important tips for how to love yourself and your body.
♥ ♥